Movies that should not have been made

[inverarity]

The Dark Is Rising was my favorite series as a child. I have memories of loving those books the way kids today love Harry Potter. (I really need to reread them one of these days.)

Comments

[xdunadanx]

I also loved these books and haven't yet dared to watch the movie ("Wintersonnenwende" in Germany).
What was so bad about it? Can you tell?

[inverarity]

What was so bad about it? Can you tell?

The acting.
The dialog.
The story.
The special effects.
Basically, everything.

Okay, seriously -- the movie had only the vaguest resemblance to the book, and it's dumbed down to a Disney romp for tweens. The actor who plays Will Stanton is horrible -- he should be an extra on Hannah Montana, not starring in a fantasy epic.

The dialog is painful, the characters are cardboard, events happen at random (but are still completely predictable), there is no cause and effect, the good guys and bad guys spend all movie posturing and smirking at each other, nobody makes a single intelligent move, and every crisis is resolved without consequences, even when the characters make stupid mistakes.

The ending (spoiler): "Hey, look, I'm the key to defeating evil! Hah, you were just about to take over the world with spooky black smoke, Mr. Rider, but now I will casually smack you down 'cause I'm Will Fucking Stanton! Game over. Oh, and here's my long-lost twin brother who was abducted shortly after birth and

[xdunadanx]

Wow, that sounds terrible!
Thanks for your review, though. You spared me this dubious experience. ;-)

Agreed.

[xero339]

I agree with every word in that review. After it was over, I had to go double check to make sure it was in fact based off the book.