I've never had a moment where I thought your characterization of Alex as a teenager or as a preteen was inaccurate. I still remember how I was as a teenager (being only 25 years old now), and that semi-maturity-semi-arrogance-all-attitude state of mind was well written. I think that, as a teenager, it's not unrealistic that someone like Alex could go through the ringer, see herself as having acted immature and irresponsibly, attempt to change to become more mature, and completely screw it up most of the time. That's what being a teenager is--a series of events where your lack of maturity completely fucks things up, being sorry about that, and trying to change, only to forget about it all ten minutes later. Good job on that.
ALEXANDRA'S LOVE LIFE AND THAT GAY THING
Having never been a 14 year old girl in a relationship, I don't honestly know how accurate you were with that one. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
I think your having a student be gay was perfectly normal; I read a report that had statistics showing that as many as one in ten students are gay. I don't know how accurate that is, but it's certainly not outside the realm of possibilities that in a school as big as charmbridge, Alex might come across three. Torvald's reactions towards it are pretty consistent with a society stuck in the past, especially when even in today's society you have an even chance of coming across students who feel positively or negatively towards homosexuals.
PLOT HOLES
I can easily see Alex as seeing a snake and EXPECTING it to have fangs, regardless of whether it's poisonous or not, just because it's a snake. If I see a snake in the wild, I'm not sitting around to try and find out if it DOES have fangs; I'm getting the hell out of there.
I won't comment on the rest of it, I think you did fine and it's hard to write out that scene if everyone does what they SHOULD do. It also makes sense that the authorities would want to leave that area somewhat accessible for their own purposes, so I'll let it go.
COMING UP NEXT
I look forward to Alex attending another school. I think it's unreasonable to expect otherwise, since she's only 14/15 and she needs an education. I could see her at a muggle school now, or at another magical school (possibly a non-boarding school; I imagine there would be one in the area, it IS Chicago, a big city, after all). It's not like having been kicked out of Charmbridge that she's barred from all magical education; that idea bothered the hell out of me with Hogwarts and the HP series.
Could also be fun if she's in a dueling club and goes up against students from Charmbridge in a tournament or something. Tons of possibilities.
Also looking forward to Alex in the Ozarks. I imagine hilarity ensuing there.
And that prophecy bothers me; I hope to god that it's one of those where it seems to everyone that it's pretty clear that Alex is supposed to die, but there are ways to look at it that don't say that. For an example, I point to Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series which (SPOILER!!!) had a doom-and-gloom prophecy about the Hero which said, unequivocally, that he was going to die, only in the end for it to turn out that Percy WASN'T the hero it was talking about. What I'm saying is that I want Alex to live somewhat happily ever after at the end of the story.
Also, I imagine that we're going to see some more of the fight between the Dark Convention and the Confederation. You've been VERY light on it to this point, and with only 3 books to go, aside from the trains and a school sinking into the swamp, there hasn't been much movement in this fight to our eyes. I'd like to see some more of that, and if Alex isn't at a boarding school and has more freedom of movement, I could easily see her becoming somewhat involved in it.
Thaaaaat about covers it. Looking forward to the next installment! Toodles.
I've never had a moment where I thought your characterization of Alex as a teenager or as a preteen was inaccurate. I still remember how I was as a teenager (being only 25 years old now), and that semi-maturity-semi-arrogance-all-attitude state of mind was well written. I think that, as a teenager, it's not unrealistic that someone like Alex could go through the ringer, see herself as having acted immature and irresponsibly, attempt to change to become more mature, and completely screw it up most of the time. That's what being a teenager is--a series of events where your lack of maturity completely fucks things up, being sorry about that, and trying to change, only to forget about it all ten minutes later. Good job on that.
ALEXANDRA'S LOVE LIFE AND THAT GAY THING
Having never been a 14 year old girl in a relationship, I don't honestly know how accurate you were with that one. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
I think your having a student be gay was perfectly normal; I read a report that had statistics showing that as many as one in ten students are gay. I don't know how accurate that is, but it's certainly not outside the realm of possibilities that in a school as big as charmbridge, Alex might come across three. Torvald's reactions towards it are pretty consistent with a society stuck in the past, especially when even in today's society you have an even chance of coming across students who feel positively or negatively towards homosexuals.
PLOT HOLES
I can easily see Alex as seeing a snake and EXPECTING it to have fangs, regardless of whether it's poisonous or not, just because it's a snake. If I see a snake in the wild, I'm not sitting around to try and find out if it DOES have fangs; I'm getting the hell out of there.
I won't comment on the rest of it, I think you did fine and it's hard to write out that scene if everyone does what they SHOULD do. It also makes sense that the authorities would want to leave that area somewhat accessible for their own purposes, so I'll let it go.
COMING UP NEXT
I look forward to Alex attending another school. I think it's unreasonable to expect otherwise, since she's only 14/15 and she needs an education. I could see her at a muggle school now, or at another magical school (possibly a non-boarding school; I imagine there would be one in the area, it IS Chicago, a big city, after all). It's not like having been kicked out of Charmbridge that she's barred from all magical education; that idea bothered the hell out of me with Hogwarts and the HP series.
Could also be fun if she's in a dueling club and goes up against students from Charmbridge in a tournament or something. Tons of possibilities.
Also looking forward to Alex in the Ozarks. I imagine hilarity ensuing there.
And that prophecy bothers me; I hope to god that it's one of those where it seems to everyone that it's pretty clear that Alex is supposed to die, but there are ways to look at it that don't say that. For an example, I point to Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series which (SPOILER!!!) had a doom-and-gloom prophecy about the Hero which said, unequivocally, that he was going to die, only in the end for it to turn out that Percy WASN'T the hero it was talking about. What I'm saying is that I want Alex to live somewhat happily ever after at the end of the story.
Also, I imagine that we're going to see some more of the fight between the Dark Convention and the Confederation. You've been VERY light on it to this point, and with only 3 books to go, aside from the trains and a school sinking into the swamp, there hasn't been much movement in this fight to our eyes. I'd like to see some more of that, and if Alex isn't at a boarding school and has more freedom of movement, I could easily see her becoming somewhat involved in it.
Thaaaaat about covers it. Looking forward to the next installment! Toodles.
~DarkSov
(Part 2)
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