I gots a ho, you want to row?
I have a lot ahead of me... but I am excited and starting to prepare myself for these events. My summer will start off perfect... with Seamus coming back up in two weeks... and then him leaving on July 9th. They say he'll be there for two years, a year, a few months. It's the army thing... the whole "yeah we are going to say this then do this then really do this... that keeps me guessing.
But he is worth it... he told me tonight "I'll be dating my vasoline in Germany... but you, if you need something I'll let you go out and find that." I was stunned. A year ago... I would have been like, sweet. But now, now that I have looked into his eyes and felt his arms around me, now that he has wiped tears away from my face and held me when I started punching him... now that I am so deeply connected with this other person, this other soul... I couldn't even think about it. It would seem so wrong... like too much candy on Easter morning. Gourging yourself with sweets... until you lay stunned and sick in front of the TV, watching the Easter Bunny on a float, wishing you had more self control.
I'll tell you right now... it wont be easy. It will be much harder than I can imagine at this point and time... but it would be much harder and much more painful for me to leave, to hurt him, to never hear his voice again. I love him too deeply, too much to ever leave... even though I can get pissed off from time to time.
Oh yeah, and we made out in front of like, 12 Amish people. now that, THAT is katie really being in love... Ashley knows what I'm saying. And one of the little kids had light up shoes... I couldn't help but wonder if at night when they needed a light they would just steal the five-year-old's shoes... in the middle of the night. Picture the dad needing to take a crap and using the shoes to get out to the light house. I am sure they don't... but damn I wish they did.
Love always,
Katie
But he is worth it... he told me tonight "I'll be dating my vasoline in Germany... but you, if you need something I'll let you go out and find that." I was stunned. A year ago... I would have been like, sweet. But now, now that I have looked into his eyes and felt his arms around me, now that he has wiped tears away from my face and held me when I started punching him... now that I am so deeply connected with this other person, this other soul... I couldn't even think about it. It would seem so wrong... like too much candy on Easter morning. Gourging yourself with sweets... until you lay stunned and sick in front of the TV, watching the Easter Bunny on a float, wishing you had more self control.
I'll tell you right now... it wont be easy. It will be much harder than I can imagine at this point and time... but it would be much harder and much more painful for me to leave, to hurt him, to never hear his voice again. I love him too deeply, too much to ever leave... even though I can get pissed off from time to time.
Oh yeah, and we made out in front of like, 12 Amish people. now that, THAT is katie really being in love... Ashley knows what I'm saying. And one of the little kids had light up shoes... I couldn't help but wonder if at night when they needed a light they would just steal the five-year-old's shoes... in the middle of the night. Picture the dad needing to take a crap and using the shoes to get out to the light house. I am sure they don't... but damn I wish they did.
Love always,
Katie