I really fucking hate this day.
Well, as it is, I am an asshole. I will not debate this with anyone, I just am. I expect too much from others, but all I expect balance and equality. But then Im flabberghasted when i dont get what i expect. Which of course, isnt surprising.
Im flat out not playing headgames anymore. I sick of this bullshit that it puts me though, the emotional rollercoaster, everything. Honesty is my new middle name , no matter how painful it would be. Becuase it doesnt matter anymre when you want to look out for others. It really doesn't matter. Their pain is worthless, especailly when all the effort you put for is worth nothing. I have no hope left for humanity or the world, so Im going to try to live everyday as worthless and enjoyable as possible.
I think the thing that purturbes me the most, is that I feel like I can't mess up. I feel this way, because no one gives me the same objectivity that i give them. When someone does something serious to hurt me, I almost always forgive them. I can't handle that anymore. I wish that people could give me the same respect and the same forgiveness taht i give them. I see now that no one really wants it. Well, i can't deal with that shit anymore. Hello hatred & apathy, goodbye self-worth and confidence!
I really tuely hate myself for what I do to others. I really do. And I hate mind games. I hate them.
Im flat out not playing headgames anymore. I sick of this bullshit that it puts me though, the emotional rollercoaster, everything. Honesty is my new middle name , no matter how painful it would be. Becuase it doesnt matter anymre when you want to look out for others. It really doesn't matter. Their pain is worthless, especailly when all the effort you put for is worth nothing. I have no hope left for humanity or the world, so Im going to try to live everyday as worthless and enjoyable as possible.
I think the thing that purturbes me the most, is that I feel like I can't mess up. I feel this way, because no one gives me the same objectivity that i give them. When someone does something serious to hurt me, I almost always forgive them. I can't handle that anymore. I wish that people could give me the same respect and the same forgiveness taht i give them. I see now that no one really wants it. Well, i can't deal with that shit anymore. Hello hatred & apathy, goodbye self-worth and confidence!
I really tuely hate myself for what I do to others. I really do. And I hate mind games. I hate them.