(no subject)
I feel like such a retard lately.
I am most definately acting like one.
I cant get intoxicated without doing something stupid, like letting boys cut at me
with scalpels or driving home blind drunk.
I really hate my job, which is one cause for my reckless behavior. Another is the fact that
I am still alone after three years but am too emotionally unstable for a relationship anyway.
Tomorrow I get my second cervical cancer vaccination. yay..
But I also get to bake muffins with delicious Ziade.
There are some nights when I just cant sleep & I lay
awake for hours thinking of all the things I miss. I absentmindedly do the opposite of what I set out to do, like I am trying to be a different person.
I feel tension everywhere I go. It could be that I am paranoid.
There are friends birthdays coming up and I have no idea what to get them. I always stress over wanting to get the close-to-perfect gift. I am keeping my eyes open though, so something is bound to stand out in time.
Time for bed I think, I am feeling sick due to being so tired and anxious.
I am most definately acting like one.
I cant get intoxicated without doing something stupid, like letting boys cut at me
with scalpels or driving home blind drunk.
I really hate my job, which is one cause for my reckless behavior. Another is the fact that
I am still alone after three years but am too emotionally unstable for a relationship anyway.
Tomorrow I get my second cervical cancer vaccination. yay..
But I also get to bake muffins with delicious Ziade.
There are some nights when I just cant sleep & I lay
awake for hours thinking of all the things I miss. I absentmindedly do the opposite of what I set out to do, like I am trying to be a different person.
I feel tension everywhere I go. It could be that I am paranoid.
There are friends birthdays coming up and I have no idea what to get them. I always stress over wanting to get the close-to-perfect gift. I am keeping my eyes open though, so something is bound to stand out in time.
Time for bed I think, I am feeling sick due to being so tired and anxious.