Unhappy with my own behavior
So I was determined to be in a good mood yesterday. I figure to establish a habit requires determining it first for a while. I headed to work and was fine up until I got an LB from a halfwit for doing my job. At least that's how I felt about it at the time and still sort of do now. I crafted a response that was full of venom and sarcasm - and then I erased it and sent an email that took the LB information a little farther than the person intended it. Sort of like yelling at the sky for some water and getting a flash flood. I have yet to see the consequences, but it felt justifiable at the time. I recognize that my reaction, despite the provocation of rage from the halfwit, was inappropriate and an over reaction on my part.
I seem to be on a hair trigger lately with my anger. There are injustices that have built up I could point to and logical reasons that I could map out, but looking at this as an observer I can see that my logic is being used as a tool for justification. That's more than a little scary because logic is the tool I usually use to resolve problems. In essence, I need to broaden my scope to solve a problem in the middle of the problem by finding a new tool to solve the problem. And the resolution needs to be acceptable ultimately both my heart and head at the same time.
I believe if I solve this one, other things will tumble into place.
I seem to be on a hair trigger lately with my anger. There are injustices that have built up I could point to and logical reasons that I could map out, but looking at this as an observer I can see that my logic is being used as a tool for justification. That's more than a little scary because logic is the tool I usually use to resolve problems. In essence, I need to broaden my scope to solve a problem in the middle of the problem by finding a new tool to solve the problem. And the resolution needs to be acceptable ultimately both my heart and head at the same time.
I believe if I solve this one, other things will tumble into place.