(no subject)
my uncle's funeral was today.... i didn't cry until my aunt sang that song for him... i cried the whole time... then also at the cemetary.. and at the little thing after with his wife my aunt peggy... it was a very sad sad sad day... i'm still crying... every sad song i hear on the radio... and everything.. i just... i burst... don't expect to hear from me much... i'm going thru a emotional downfall.. i'll be gone for a while... i need to think.. i need... to just... be alone.. to.. i don't know... i'm going thru major depression right now... and pills don't do anything... they just numb the pain... but i still know it's there...
there's nothing i can do about the pain... it won't stop.. i just want it to stop.. go away... that's all i want... please... just make it stop... make it go away... but it won't go away.. and all i can do is cry... but that makes me feel even more like shit... i know i shouldn't but... it's hard to resist... i want to... no... it's bad to think like that... i don't want to make people cry like i saw today.. no... he died happy and that's all that matters.. if i... well... i won't die happy... and that will make others sad.... i just need to think about this......
there's nothing i can do about the pain... it won't stop.. i just want it to stop.. go away... that's all i want... please... just make it stop... make it go away... but it won't go away.. and all i can do is cry... but that makes me feel even more like shit... i know i shouldn't but... it's hard to resist... i want to... no... it's bad to think like that... i don't want to make people cry like i saw today.. no... he died happy and that's all that matters.. if i... well... i won't die happy... and that will make others sad.... i just need to think about this......