(no subject)
i hate valentines. i fucking hate valentines day. its supose to be a day when everyone is happy and all in love and withthe person they want to be with, and i hate it.
last night i couldnt sleep. not that i tossed and turned, but i couldnt sleep. i watched some old movie and ended up crying. and i got the urge to make v-day cards, since i plan on sending everyone one. i was up all night, and they came out beautiful.
this morning i woke up and i had no messages or emails or anything, so i pushed it all aside and decided to not think about it, its not about what you get but more so about what you give, especailly when its from the heart.
i went for a jog and started get cross things off my to do list. then my sister calls and we got into a fight. turns out she just wanted to make sure i was at the apartment so she could bring me a valentine. it would have been the first valentine tht anyone had really ever given me. and i messed up and we got into a fight and now im a mess and all i can think about is one person and how much i hate valentines.
it doesnt matter how strong i try to be, right now im not strong. so i put up all these walls and hide behind them because im scared that if someone breaks through they might see how much of a wreck i am right now.
i was just starting to like it out here. i was just atarting to actually like it and like the path it was creating.
i hate valentines. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it! and i never want to celebrate it ever! i use to love holidays, i dont want anything to do wih any of them anymore. i dont want to participate. all they do is cause problems and tension and i hate them! all of them! halloween, christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays, valentines! fuck them all! i hate them!!!
last night i couldnt sleep. not that i tossed and turned, but i couldnt sleep. i watched some old movie and ended up crying. and i got the urge to make v-day cards, since i plan on sending everyone one. i was up all night, and they came out beautiful.
this morning i woke up and i had no messages or emails or anything, so i pushed it all aside and decided to not think about it, its not about what you get but more so about what you give, especailly when its from the heart.
i went for a jog and started get cross things off my to do list. then my sister calls and we got into a fight. turns out she just wanted to make sure i was at the apartment so she could bring me a valentine. it would have been the first valentine tht anyone had really ever given me. and i messed up and we got into a fight and now im a mess and all i can think about is one person and how much i hate valentines.
it doesnt matter how strong i try to be, right now im not strong. so i put up all these walls and hide behind them because im scared that if someone breaks through they might see how much of a wreck i am right now.
i was just starting to like it out here. i was just atarting to actually like it and like the path it was creating.
i hate valentines. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it! and i never want to celebrate it ever! i use to love holidays, i dont want anything to do wih any of them anymore. i dont want to participate. all they do is cause problems and tension and i hate them! all of them! halloween, christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays, valentines! fuck them all! i hate them!!!