D'espairsRay - Oneshot - Boarder - Part C
Title: Boarder
Chapters: Oneshot [part C]
Author: inuoloz [Oloz-san]
Genre: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Sad, Yaoi, Smut, Creative English
Rating: R for Part, R for whole.
Pairings: Atsushi[fictional] X Karyu[Yoshitaka], Tsukasa[Kenji] X Karyu.
Disclaimer: Story is mine, people used are not. No copyright infringement intended.
Synopsis: The 1900s were a simple time. Simple life, simple rules, but love...still was not a simple emotion.
A/N: The last part to Boarder. Hope you enjoy and please leave a comment!
Word Count: 2,369
Parts: [ Part A] - [ Part B]
I didn’t see Atsushi at all that day. Kenji said he came by during the last few hours of my stay at work but not once has he asked of my whereabouts. It felt strange coming home to a “ただいま” answered not in Atsu’s voice, and even stranger to see a dinner prepared not by my hands. The already small house seemed smaller as only Kenji and I occupied the opposite ends of the table. The persistent clicking of forks against plates hovered in the tense air. Finally my lack of food intake wrought me to break the anxious silence. “So Kenji…” the feeble voice surprised Kenji, his head jerking up from his plate and fork falling to the side. “Where in Japan were you born?” The other’s eyes looked at me strangely, as if the words I uttered were not in Japanese. I force out a small chuckle, “I mean, I know you flew in from, just not your birthplace…” I pause, reconsidering. “Oh, I’m sorry if this is intrusi -”
“Osaka. I was born in Osaka.”
He let a silent pause settle, gathering his thoughts.
“Not quite in the city though. I’m the first in my family to come to America…”
“Oh? Why did you decide to come?” Kenji released a languid sigh, abandoning the hunched-over position by leaning further back into the chair. “I…I don’t really know. I guess I was just bored of it all,” he lightly laughs. That was the first time I ever heard him laugh. “I guess I was bored seeing nothing but countryside and only catching glimpses of the distant skyline. I guess I was just curious.”
“That’s an awfully big step though. You could have just moved further into Osaka city than coming all the way to America.”
This brought a smile to his lips. “I suppose so. My family was actually against the idea of me coming. Mother warned of how cruel the Americans were to immigrants.”
“It does get a bit hard sometimes,” I concur. “Even though I was born here I’m often treated as if I were an Issei.” I could feel the interest in Kenji’s gaze as his eyes lit up with a subtle glow of curiosity. Taking his inquisitiveness as a cue to continue I said, nearly an inaudible mumble, “It’s as almost as if I don’t matter…” A brief pause, voice raised to legibility, “Almost as if it’s stupid to continue living here…somewhere I’m not wanted.” Silence begins to rest on our two figures; silence that was harshly unwanted. But remain it did. Kenji unwilling to voice his thoughts that were so obvious they seem to shout behind his sealed lips. Me unwilling to further pull out deep-felt emotions due to my natural inclination to personal timidity. Together our unwilling figures sat, apart they faced. The whole situation becoming utterly ridiculous.
Four nights passed. The exact same thing. No Atsushi, only Kenji and I. Heavy frames seated across from each other on the small table. Neglect to the well prepared dinner turning into copious servings of conversation, only lasting an hour or so before dying into quietness. On this night…this night…the fifth night…I decided. “Kenji,” I start, “what do you think of Atsushi?” Immediately Kenji became engulfed in a coughing fit. Regaining composure his gaze weakly pulled to my face. “W-what do you mean?”
“Exactly what I say. What do you think of Atsushi? I know its weighing on your mind and frankly so is it on mine…”
As expected Kenji didn’t reply outright; he recoiled subtly within himself. Gaze still loosely locked, frantic fingertips relentlessly fidgeting his fork, body lazily hunched over the table, both elbows bearing at each side. “I,” is voice cracked. His eyes diverted to each side as if trying to find an exit sign. “I…don’t think I’m in a position to answer that…” A muffled ‘hmm’ of false content followed his response. “Not in a position to answer…” I mutter, eyes now on my fork that was mindlessly probing the food. “I did not know we were in a ‘hierarchy’. “ A laugh. “This is America! Everyone here is free. Free to say what they want to say. Think what they want to think. Do whatever the Hell they want!” I instantly drop my fork onto the plate, hands rushing up to shield my face. “Whatever the Hell they want,” my voice a hiss of anger. I felt the choking hold of crying well up in my throat and the prelims of tears totter uneasily in my eyes. “Why can’t I do whatever I want? I try to put smiles on everyone’s face but why am I not happy? I-I try to be a good lover but what return have I received? Neglect and abandon. Atsushi hasn’t come back in 5 fucking days all because of his unhappiness with me. Am I really that unbearable? Do -” my voice hitches; the tears, I do not want them to fall. “Does it always have to be like this? This stupid…these stupid as Hell situations?” My face falls in my arms. “I try,” feeble voice barely breaking forth, “I try but nothing goes right…” My mind finally breaks. The tears I could no longer hold began coming forward in relentless streams. The hiccupping sobs escape involuntarily into the still air. Fingernails dig into my scalp. The déjà vu of that night before plagues my memory and causes my heart to ache. Suddenly, the emotions began to dull; something heavy and warm embraces my frame from behind. The tears start to cease, leaving a reddish tinge to my cheeks. My sobbing coughs came in less frequent intervals. A noticeable pressure is felt upon my head, bearing down with the most comforting of gentilities. “Please don’t cry.” Engulfed in my own personal wallowing I hadn’t noticed that Kenji had long abandoned his post on the far end of the table to console me. I smiled. “Kenji,” I mutter, “are you happy?” I felt the other’s arms tighten around my frame, his head atop my head shifting its position. “I…” his voice stopped, almost as if the ceasing was against his own will, speech pulled in by some unresolved thought. “I…” he tried again but failed. I heard a sigh escape his lips, his breath tickling across my upper forehead. “I am very happy,” he solemnly concludes, his voice near an inaudible whisper. As quickly as that warming comfort appeared it had vanished, Kenji finally backing off. I shift around my seat to face him; my eyes perhaps expressing some desperate plea, for the other’s gaze reflected the same emotion. Mentally I heard the crumbling of the invisible wall that somehow separated us; its borders buckling as I gradually lift from my seat. Our lips near, breath tracing across our faces, neither he nor I flinch. Our noses, some mere millimeters apart, eyes reflecting into one another’s. In this moment, my mind had decided. In this moment I sought my own happiness.
Pure revelation overlays and our lips touch. A gasp of air escapes my slightly opened mouth just seconds before Kenji deepens the kiss. I alter my position to straddle the chair somewhat, knees propped up on its cushion so that my lips should never leave the other’s. I felt delicate hands trace silently up the sides of my body, resting just midway on my back. My arms reach up to return the embrace, circling around Kenji’s neck to move him in ever closer. His tongue delicately traces across the lining of my lips, seeking permission in. Granting that privilege I open my mouth and suck his tongue directly; soon my own delicate muscle melts into his mouth, tasting him. I hear Kenji release a subtle hiss, whether it was from surprise or ecstasy I could not tell. He pushes further, tongue tangling itself with mine, his saliva mixing with mine. A breathy groan leaves my lungs; my heaving chest somehow not moving at all. Our lips part for a second, deep breath acquired, and together they come again. Kenji moves his body to arch somewhat authoritatively over mine, hands taking motion to rhythmlessly stroke my back and hair. I feel his fingers mix between gentle tips and desperate grasps. A palm caresses my head while the other feels up my lower back. As he pushes closer, mouths mashing together, I feel the sheer heat radiate off of him. Through is shirt I could feel his pulsating heart, its beat matching my own’s intensity. The chair wavers unsteadily beneath me and causes me to drop my arms to Kenji’s shoulders. Sweet breathes depart from his lips and trace along my nose; the warm sighs smoldered my senses. I lift myself awkwardly from the chair - trying not to part from the other - and once on open ground Kenji immediately takes control. Slamming my back into the wall right across from the countertops, a shiver of pain left my spine but was instantly replaced with the warmth of Kenji’s kiss. He sucks on my lower lip, playfully nibbling at the pliable skin while soft hands travel up my body, lifting fabric away from skin. Parting again for mere seconds to cast away the shirt, Kenji moves to the base of my neck, tongue leaving a clear trail of saliva on pale skin. Tufts of his hair tickle the bottom of my chin as the other continues his venture lower. Mouth finally reaching a nipple, his lips close and suck the skin; tongue performing further ministrations that eventually give the flesh a hue of abused pink.
“Ahh!” I moan, my hand resting atop his head to lean him closer to my skin and the other stroking his back. Kenji moved to the other nipple, fingertips sneaking up to stroke my chest. His warmth became mine. Touch a connecting force of emotion. I want him. In some unexplainable way, I want Kenji more than anything; Atsushi not even a name among my thoughts.
Hands move down, fingering my pants loose.
I felt his hands graze over my stiffened erection; a breath hitching in my throat. Kenji licked the clothed member, I moan and caress his hair coaxingly. The others fingers played with the lining of my underwear. His teases were alien to me. Atsushi…he had never did this; never had he showed this soft affection. Kenji continued to elicit sighs of pleasure from my rose-petal lips, his pink tongue gliding over the fabric, the heat of his breath seeping through like water. My mind went numb. Eyes no longer gazing at his head but now closed in accepting solace. Even when the gentle licks connected with bare skin as I felt the barricading fabric finally slide down. Even when the wet heat of his mouth connected with my erection. Even when the sound of his saliva created a near maddening slurping reverberation.
“….ahhhh….Kenji….” I hiss.
“…good?” The other mutters between mouthfuls.
I simply nod my head.
Sure it was good. Not once had I experienced this raw heat from me wanting another and that other wanting me.
Slowly my hips began rocking back and forth, thrusting mildly into his mouth. Kenji moved back, his lips now focusing on the head of my member.
Soon the intensity was becoming too much, the raw emotion of ‘want’ becoming a tangible force, I-I couldn’t hold on any longer.
“Kenji…” the groaning breath coming out in a near inaudible whisper. My hand caresses his head but my fingers become tense with internal fire. “い-いくわ”
The other immediately understands the Japanese; his ministrations now becoming vehement pulses. My legs felt as if they were going to fail. Felt as if my body was going to collapse to the floor. Felt as if my mind was going to drown in delectation and never be revived again. My breaths came rapidly, chest heaving as if exasperated. Burning skin becoming sticky with imminent sweat and the surrounding air biting like the cold night that Atsushi left me. The warmth, I had finally found it.
I cry Kenji’s name as my body finally goes over the edge. My frame hunches over the other, palms finding support on his shoulders. Eyes now barely open, groggy with the effects of climax. I hear the final sucking sounds of Kenji’s lips as he greedily swallows and licks my member.
“Kenji…” I breathe as he finishes. His arms hoist my figure to the wall again; dark eyes glistening into mine. “T-thank you.” The words come out awkwardly, I find myself embarrassed of even uttering them. Kenji presses his lips to mine; I taste myself on his tongue. The kiss lasts merely seconds; a fitting closure to my self-happiness. Upon his parting I found myself craving his touch once more. I stroke his shoulders as he bows to get my lower-half dressed again. He attempts to put my shirt back on but a wave of my hand prompts him stop. “It’s time for bed,” I mutter, “I never sleep with a shirt on…” The other stares at me for a few seconds, eyes searching. He abandons clothing me fully but his eyes still search. What he sought I could not tell. Suddenly his hand reached for my back, the very action making me flinch. “Are you okay?” he says. My brows furrow, mouth contorts to the barest hint of a bewildered grin. “Okay? Why would you…” Clink of a door knob, groan of a resistant frame, pattering of shoed feet against wood floor. A subtle “ただいま” uttered in a voice I knew all too well. My heart freezes. Atsushi’s gaze shifts toward me. Piercing eyes cutting up my frame, only momentarily slashing at Kenji.
It took seconds for Atsushi to figure it out, minutes for him to scold me into submission, an hour to kick Kenji out the house, three days for him to return to Japan, a week before I realized…a month before I realized…it took nearly a year for me to realize…a week before I went for my lover in Japan.
I guess we didn’t need the money after all. Just true happiness.
----
A/N: ただいま = I'm back home. いくわ = I'm cumming
Chapters: Oneshot [part C]
Author: inuoloz [Oloz-san]
Genre: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Sad, Yaoi, Smut, Creative English
Rating: R for Part, R for whole.
Pairings: Atsushi[fictional] X Karyu[Yoshitaka], Tsukasa[Kenji] X Karyu.
Disclaimer: Story is mine, people used are not. No copyright infringement intended.
Synopsis: The 1900s were a simple time. Simple life, simple rules, but love...still was not a simple emotion.
A/N: The last part to Boarder. Hope you enjoy and please leave a comment!
Word Count: 2,369
Parts: [ Part A] - [ Part B]
I didn’t see Atsushi at all that day. Kenji said he came by during the last few hours of my stay at work but not once has he asked of my whereabouts. It felt strange coming home to a “ただいま” answered not in Atsu’s voice, and even stranger to see a dinner prepared not by my hands. The already small house seemed smaller as only Kenji and I occupied the opposite ends of the table. The persistent clicking of forks against plates hovered in the tense air. Finally my lack of food intake wrought me to break the anxious silence. “So Kenji…” the feeble voice surprised Kenji, his head jerking up from his plate and fork falling to the side. “Where in Japan were you born?” The other’s eyes looked at me strangely, as if the words I uttered were not in Japanese. I force out a small chuckle, “I mean, I know you flew in from, just not your birthplace…” I pause, reconsidering. “Oh, I’m sorry if this is intrusi -”
“Osaka. I was born in Osaka.”
He let a silent pause settle, gathering his thoughts.
“Not quite in the city though. I’m the first in my family to come to America…”
“Oh? Why did you decide to come?” Kenji released a languid sigh, abandoning the hunched-over position by leaning further back into the chair. “I…I don’t really know. I guess I was just bored of it all,” he lightly laughs. That was the first time I ever heard him laugh. “I guess I was bored seeing nothing but countryside and only catching glimpses of the distant skyline. I guess I was just curious.”
“That’s an awfully big step though. You could have just moved further into Osaka city than coming all the way to America.”
This brought a smile to his lips. “I suppose so. My family was actually against the idea of me coming. Mother warned of how cruel the Americans were to immigrants.”
“It does get a bit hard sometimes,” I concur. “Even though I was born here I’m often treated as if I were an Issei.” I could feel the interest in Kenji’s gaze as his eyes lit up with a subtle glow of curiosity. Taking his inquisitiveness as a cue to continue I said, nearly an inaudible mumble, “It’s as almost as if I don’t matter…” A brief pause, voice raised to legibility, “Almost as if it’s stupid to continue living here…somewhere I’m not wanted.” Silence begins to rest on our two figures; silence that was harshly unwanted. But remain it did. Kenji unwilling to voice his thoughts that were so obvious they seem to shout behind his sealed lips. Me unwilling to further pull out deep-felt emotions due to my natural inclination to personal timidity. Together our unwilling figures sat, apart they faced. The whole situation becoming utterly ridiculous.
Four nights passed. The exact same thing. No Atsushi, only Kenji and I. Heavy frames seated across from each other on the small table. Neglect to the well prepared dinner turning into copious servings of conversation, only lasting an hour or so before dying into quietness. On this night…this night…the fifth night…I decided. “Kenji,” I start, “what do you think of Atsushi?” Immediately Kenji became engulfed in a coughing fit. Regaining composure his gaze weakly pulled to my face. “W-what do you mean?”
“Exactly what I say. What do you think of Atsushi? I know its weighing on your mind and frankly so is it on mine…”
As expected Kenji didn’t reply outright; he recoiled subtly within himself. Gaze still loosely locked, frantic fingertips relentlessly fidgeting his fork, body lazily hunched over the table, both elbows bearing at each side. “I,” is voice cracked. His eyes diverted to each side as if trying to find an exit sign. “I…don’t think I’m in a position to answer that…” A muffled ‘hmm’ of false content followed his response. “Not in a position to answer…” I mutter, eyes now on my fork that was mindlessly probing the food. “I did not know we were in a ‘hierarchy’. “ A laugh. “This is America! Everyone here is free. Free to say what they want to say. Think what they want to think. Do whatever the Hell they want!” I instantly drop my fork onto the plate, hands rushing up to shield my face. “Whatever the Hell they want,” my voice a hiss of anger. I felt the choking hold of crying well up in my throat and the prelims of tears totter uneasily in my eyes. “Why can’t I do whatever I want? I try to put smiles on everyone’s face but why am I not happy? I-I try to be a good lover but what return have I received? Neglect and abandon. Atsushi hasn’t come back in 5 fucking days all because of his unhappiness with me. Am I really that unbearable? Do -” my voice hitches; the tears, I do not want them to fall. “Does it always have to be like this? This stupid…these stupid as Hell situations?” My face falls in my arms. “I try,” feeble voice barely breaking forth, “I try but nothing goes right…” My mind finally breaks. The tears I could no longer hold began coming forward in relentless streams. The hiccupping sobs escape involuntarily into the still air. Fingernails dig into my scalp. The déjà vu of that night before plagues my memory and causes my heart to ache. Suddenly, the emotions began to dull; something heavy and warm embraces my frame from behind. The tears start to cease, leaving a reddish tinge to my cheeks. My sobbing coughs came in less frequent intervals. A noticeable pressure is felt upon my head, bearing down with the most comforting of gentilities. “Please don’t cry.” Engulfed in my own personal wallowing I hadn’t noticed that Kenji had long abandoned his post on the far end of the table to console me. I smiled. “Kenji,” I mutter, “are you happy?” I felt the other’s arms tighten around my frame, his head atop my head shifting its position. “I…” his voice stopped, almost as if the ceasing was against his own will, speech pulled in by some unresolved thought. “I…” he tried again but failed. I heard a sigh escape his lips, his breath tickling across my upper forehead. “I am very happy,” he solemnly concludes, his voice near an inaudible whisper. As quickly as that warming comfort appeared it had vanished, Kenji finally backing off. I shift around my seat to face him; my eyes perhaps expressing some desperate plea, for the other’s gaze reflected the same emotion. Mentally I heard the crumbling of the invisible wall that somehow separated us; its borders buckling as I gradually lift from my seat. Our lips near, breath tracing across our faces, neither he nor I flinch. Our noses, some mere millimeters apart, eyes reflecting into one another’s. In this moment, my mind had decided. In this moment I sought my own happiness.
Pure revelation overlays and our lips touch. A gasp of air escapes my slightly opened mouth just seconds before Kenji deepens the kiss. I alter my position to straddle the chair somewhat, knees propped up on its cushion so that my lips should never leave the other’s. I felt delicate hands trace silently up the sides of my body, resting just midway on my back. My arms reach up to return the embrace, circling around Kenji’s neck to move him in ever closer. His tongue delicately traces across the lining of my lips, seeking permission in. Granting that privilege I open my mouth and suck his tongue directly; soon my own delicate muscle melts into his mouth, tasting him. I hear Kenji release a subtle hiss, whether it was from surprise or ecstasy I could not tell. He pushes further, tongue tangling itself with mine, his saliva mixing with mine. A breathy groan leaves my lungs; my heaving chest somehow not moving at all. Our lips part for a second, deep breath acquired, and together they come again. Kenji moves his body to arch somewhat authoritatively over mine, hands taking motion to rhythmlessly stroke my back and hair. I feel his fingers mix between gentle tips and desperate grasps. A palm caresses my head while the other feels up my lower back. As he pushes closer, mouths mashing together, I feel the sheer heat radiate off of him. Through is shirt I could feel his pulsating heart, its beat matching my own’s intensity. The chair wavers unsteadily beneath me and causes me to drop my arms to Kenji’s shoulders. Sweet breathes depart from his lips and trace along my nose; the warm sighs smoldered my senses. I lift myself awkwardly from the chair - trying not to part from the other - and once on open ground Kenji immediately takes control. Slamming my back into the wall right across from the countertops, a shiver of pain left my spine but was instantly replaced with the warmth of Kenji’s kiss. He sucks on my lower lip, playfully nibbling at the pliable skin while soft hands travel up my body, lifting fabric away from skin. Parting again for mere seconds to cast away the shirt, Kenji moves to the base of my neck, tongue leaving a clear trail of saliva on pale skin. Tufts of his hair tickle the bottom of my chin as the other continues his venture lower. Mouth finally reaching a nipple, his lips close and suck the skin; tongue performing further ministrations that eventually give the flesh a hue of abused pink.
“Ahh!” I moan, my hand resting atop his head to lean him closer to my skin and the other stroking his back. Kenji moved to the other nipple, fingertips sneaking up to stroke my chest. His warmth became mine. Touch a connecting force of emotion. I want him. In some unexplainable way, I want Kenji more than anything; Atsushi not even a name among my thoughts.
Hands move down, fingering my pants loose.
I felt his hands graze over my stiffened erection; a breath hitching in my throat. Kenji licked the clothed member, I moan and caress his hair coaxingly. The others fingers played with the lining of my underwear. His teases were alien to me. Atsushi…he had never did this; never had he showed this soft affection. Kenji continued to elicit sighs of pleasure from my rose-petal lips, his pink tongue gliding over the fabric, the heat of his breath seeping through like water. My mind went numb. Eyes no longer gazing at his head but now closed in accepting solace. Even when the gentle licks connected with bare skin as I felt the barricading fabric finally slide down. Even when the wet heat of his mouth connected with my erection. Even when the sound of his saliva created a near maddening slurping reverberation.
“….ahhhh….Kenji….” I hiss.
“…good?” The other mutters between mouthfuls.
I simply nod my head.
Sure it was good. Not once had I experienced this raw heat from me wanting another and that other wanting me.
Slowly my hips began rocking back and forth, thrusting mildly into his mouth. Kenji moved back, his lips now focusing on the head of my member.
Soon the intensity was becoming too much, the raw emotion of ‘want’ becoming a tangible force, I-I couldn’t hold on any longer.
“Kenji…” the groaning breath coming out in a near inaudible whisper. My hand caresses his head but my fingers become tense with internal fire. “い-いくわ”
The other immediately understands the Japanese; his ministrations now becoming vehement pulses. My legs felt as if they were going to fail. Felt as if my body was going to collapse to the floor. Felt as if my mind was going to drown in delectation and never be revived again. My breaths came rapidly, chest heaving as if exasperated. Burning skin becoming sticky with imminent sweat and the surrounding air biting like the cold night that Atsushi left me. The warmth, I had finally found it.
I cry Kenji’s name as my body finally goes over the edge. My frame hunches over the other, palms finding support on his shoulders. Eyes now barely open, groggy with the effects of climax. I hear the final sucking sounds of Kenji’s lips as he greedily swallows and licks my member.
“Kenji…” I breathe as he finishes. His arms hoist my figure to the wall again; dark eyes glistening into mine. “T-thank you.” The words come out awkwardly, I find myself embarrassed of even uttering them. Kenji presses his lips to mine; I taste myself on his tongue. The kiss lasts merely seconds; a fitting closure to my self-happiness. Upon his parting I found myself craving his touch once more. I stroke his shoulders as he bows to get my lower-half dressed again. He attempts to put my shirt back on but a wave of my hand prompts him stop. “It’s time for bed,” I mutter, “I never sleep with a shirt on…” The other stares at me for a few seconds, eyes searching. He abandons clothing me fully but his eyes still search. What he sought I could not tell. Suddenly his hand reached for my back, the very action making me flinch. “Are you okay?” he says. My brows furrow, mouth contorts to the barest hint of a bewildered grin. “Okay? Why would you…” Clink of a door knob, groan of a resistant frame, pattering of shoed feet against wood floor. A subtle “ただいま” uttered in a voice I knew all too well. My heart freezes. Atsushi’s gaze shifts toward me. Piercing eyes cutting up my frame, only momentarily slashing at Kenji.
It took seconds for Atsushi to figure it out, minutes for him to scold me into submission, an hour to kick Kenji out the house, three days for him to return to Japan, a week before I realized…a month before I realized…it took nearly a year for me to realize…a week before I went for my lover in Japan.
I guess we didn’t need the money after all. Just true happiness.
----
A/N: ただいま = I'm back home. いくわ = I'm cumming