Private Thoughts (Fanfic 100 #009)
Title:Private Thoughts
Characters: Yanagi Renji, Mizu
Prompt: 009. Months
Word Count: 2,033
Rating: PG-13 (some minor talk about sex)
Summary: Yanagi Renji journals his thoughts as his wife goes through her first pregnancy.
Author's Notes:There are some references to some stories that have not been published online yet....and I may have forgotten what Sanada’s wife’s name actually is...it’s close enough. (Wow, I fail at keeping my own head!canon, don’t I?)
My LDT found here
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
June
Another year older again. Another year with Mizu. And people say romances that begin in high school don’t last. Then again, perhaps it was fate (even if it did need a nudge from Seiichi...)
I have a late birthday present it seems. Well, the present itself will be extremely late...Nine months, to be exact. Mizu had it confirmed that she is pregnant. I couldn’t happier....or more worried. I have to admit, I almost wondered if there was something wrong with either of us, as we’ve been trying since the wedding itself. Then again, with a stable job, and a house of our own in which to raise children, it may be our bodies knew better than we did.
Also found out Kana is pregnant again as well.
July
Mizu’s been fighting morning sickness for a few weeks now. I wish I could do more than just offer her tea after she’s done retching. I don’t know what else to do, really. I’ve been taking the mood swings in stride. Though it’s odd how she can go from wanting to tear me limb from limb to being desperately clingly in just a few short hours.
And there’s still too many months of this left....This almost makes me wonder why people reproduce at all. Then I remember that the process is more enjoyable than its result can be.
August
The heat has been insufferable. For the most part, Mizu seems to have moved past the morning sickness. I’m grateful. She’s been trying to adjust her diet in order to provide extra nutrition to the baby. She doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite though.
We finally told everyone about the pregnancy. Mother is thrilled, despite being slightly annoyed we waited this long to tell anyone. She understood though. We weren’t about to jinx it. Also, despite the denials from Mizu, she’s starting to show just a little. I won’t argue, just for the sake of keeping the peace around here (and for keeping my place in the bed...)
September
Well, it seems Mizu has some extra energy all of a sudden. That’s been great, but I don’t know whether to worry or not. I suppose I shouldn’t. The doctor says everything is going well, and the baby is developing normally. I want to know what happened to my energy level?
I did get asked to start work on the nursery. Just as well, as I could do with some monotous work like painting that will clear the mind. I just wish she’s pick a color and stick to it....I was covered in the latest color choice when she came in to the room we’d chosen for the baby, telling me she had felt it kick. I was skeptical until she grabbed my hand and I did feel a light fluttering under her skin. It was....amazing.
October
This...was a long month. Kana called to inform us that she’s having twins. They weren’t sure at first, as apparently her babies’ heart beats are sychronized. And apparently they were difficult to tell that there were two babies on the ultrasound. Though the best news from that day was the fact that Sadaharu fainted from the news. (Yes, Kana-nee did scold me for laughing about that, but I couldn’t help it.)
What made it long was Mizu’s insomnia, nightmares, and just sleep deprivation in general. She still worries over being a bad mother, thanks to that poor excuse of a human being that was her own mother. I still have trouble even thinking about that day, and it always makes me so angry. I admit, I do wonder what happened to her parents, but as long as they never show up at our door, I am willing to let it go.
Mizu said some of the dreams scare her a bit. I think she’s watched too many dramas and anime about other worldly creatures. Besides, when Seiichi left the country, that pretty guaranteed that there isn’t going to be another generation of the “Three Demons”. She swears up and down that’s what some of her dreams are implying. That also reminds me, I should email him soon.
And speaking of Seiichi, Mizu apparently has a very good memory. She was singing when I came home the other day, and it was a song he had written back in high school. I didn’t think any one remembered those projects. (Mizu said it would have been mine, but it’s impossible to sing unaccompanied. I’m not sure if that was a complaint or a compliment....) Anyway, she defended herself by telling me she was singing to the baby. As we’ve both been following the development of a healthy fetus, I had to concede that one to her, as yes, the baby has ears and can hear.
Though, I’m not sure if Mizu has noticed yet, but....I have talked to the baby when she does manage to get some sleep. I hope she hasn’t. I don’t know if she’ll think that I’ve gone crazy, or am just following the advice of various researchers about talking to the fetus.
The other thing that’s happened is that we found out the sex of our baby. It is definitely a boy. That’s a good and bad thing. I’m delighted I’m going to have a son. It’s just more unfortunate for him that his cousin was born first, with the naming tradition that our family follows. And I will most likely be accused of being egotistical when I bring up names to Mizu. And hopefully, he’ll never find this journal where I have admitted this. I suppose we can always defend it with he was named after his great-grandfather.....Sorry, Ren-whatever....
November
Mizu has developed what Mother called the pregnancy waddle. It’s not the most graceful of walks, but it’s not getting her down, so that’s good. We hashed out names, and settled on Rentarou. I suppose it could have been worse. Also, the first baby of one of my best friends has made their appearance in the world already, midway through the month. Mizu is driving Minako crazy with questions about labor and such, and....apparently not liking some of the answers she’s been getting. On the other hand, I’m rather surprised...and not surprised at the same time...at how Genichrou handles his child. It’s almost like he can’t believe he had a part in creating that life. It’s definitely amusing.
Mizu still isn’t sleeping well, and seems to be letting any little thing stress her out. I do what I can to try to help alleviate it. I sometimes wonder if it’s enough. It’s a bit disappointing, but one of our main stress relievers has been out of the question lately. Though to be honest, I thought sexual relations would have ended sooner than they did. I’m surprised it took this long.
I hope this will pass...(the Mizu being stressed part, and the insomnia. I thouroughly expect the other to resume at some point, even if it is at some point after the baby is born....and even with deciding on a name, I can’t quite bring myself to use it just yet....)
December
I have spent every weekend this month working on the nursery. Mizu isn’t due until February, but she’s insisting on having the room ready as soon as possible. Apparently the nesting instinct is starting to kick in, thankfully in low gear for now. She still hasn’t been getting much sleep though. The added weight is causing aches, not to mention the swelling she’s had is not helping her there. I wish I could do more to help ease her through it.
And yet another friend has added another child to the world. I must say, it is a situation that I hope never to leave Mizu in. Though, considering the adults in question...I suppose the child is lucky enough to have been created. I know that sounds rude, but I can’t help but wonder what went on in that mind that Akari went through this more or less alone. Mizu has already volunteered us to help her out however we can. I suppose with Hiroki-kun only being slightly older it won’t hurt for the children to stay together so Akari can work. That was rather a surprise, considering the history Mizu has with Akari....though indirectly I’m to blame for that. Perhaps Akari is finally over what happened about ten years ago. (Then again, I understand her feelings, but I trust that what I heard of that story is the truth. Even if I did doubt it, and had thoughts that something did happen between them, well....I would forgive them both. It’s been so long since then though, why do we keep thinking about it?)
January
Well, despite Mizu’s lack of sleep and other things, we did manage to get the nursery finished midway through this month. We had a couple of slight scares with Mizu panicking over a couple of things which were just normal things at this late stage. I have to admit, I almost had a heart attack of my own when she thought she was going into labor early. It was just her first expierence with Braxton Hicks contractions. I know this is our first child, but....if this our reaction now, I’m afraid at how we’ll react when it is time. This is definitely too late to be having doubts now.
There are a lot of complaints about how she’s ready for the baby to come out already. All I can do is tell her to hang in there. Occasionally I get the “You’re The One That Did This To Me” glare, but most of the time it’s just a half-hearted smile with a promise that she will. I think she’s starting to go a little stir crazy, with not much to do until he does decide to come into the world. Well, stir crazy mixed with the nesting instinct. It seems the nursery is rearrranged almost every other day (though that might be my imagination...).
February
I knew you’d arrive in the middle of the month. I was hoping, oddly enough, for you to arrive on Valnetine’s day. I’m not sure why, especially with the over commercialism that is that once well intentioned holiday. Though...I suppose the day was auspicious enough that it was a Friday.
I’m not even going to bother writing about the hours leading up to your actual birth. It was exhausting for both mother and father, and let’s leave it at that. Just know that the weather was awful, and anything you may see on television that may seem like exaggerations about women in labor...are somewhat based in truth. But you’ve made it into the world, and I know I could not be happier than I am now. (And, just for the record, Kana’s twins arrived two weeks ago, on the first. At least I won’t be considered the only egotistical parent in the family. Poor Sadako...)
You know, I don’t really intend for anyone to read this. I thought perhaps keeping a monthly log of what I went through along with Mizu was a good idea. Though, if ever anyone does read this....well....Friday, February 13, 20xx was one of the best days of my life.
Omake
“What’s this dust covered old book?” Yanagi Ami asked, pulling a thin, hard bound tome out of it’s lonely corner in the top shelf of the tallest bookcase in the house. Despite being the youngest child, though now at the age of 17, she and her elder brother had both inherited their height from their father, and both children towered over their mother. ‘Tarou looked up, and shrugged.
“Why would I know?” He asked.
Ami blew the dust off the cover, and started reading it when she saw that it was in her father’s handwriting. She was reading it earnestly when she came upon one of the passages and started laughing out loud. She handed it quietly to her brother and pointed.
‘Tarou read it, his mouth agape. “Dad!” He groaned.
Ami grinned at him. “At least you’re not still Ren-whatever?”
“I’m going to go curl up in a hole now and die...or go legally change my name.”
Characters: Yanagi Renji, Mizu
Prompt: 009. Months
Word Count: 2,033
Rating: PG-13 (some minor talk about sex)
Summary: Yanagi Renji journals his thoughts as his wife goes through her first pregnancy.
Author's Notes:There are some references to some stories that have not been published online yet....and I may have forgotten what Sanada’s wife’s name actually is...it’s close enough. (Wow, I fail at keeping my own head!canon, don’t I?)
My LDT found here
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
June
Another year older again. Another year with Mizu. And people say romances that begin in high school don’t last. Then again, perhaps it was fate (even if it did need a nudge from Seiichi...)
I have a late birthday present it seems. Well, the present itself will be extremely late...Nine months, to be exact. Mizu had it confirmed that she is pregnant. I couldn’t happier....or more worried. I have to admit, I almost wondered if there was something wrong with either of us, as we’ve been trying since the wedding itself. Then again, with a stable job, and a house of our own in which to raise children, it may be our bodies knew better than we did.
Also found out Kana is pregnant again as well.
July
Mizu’s been fighting morning sickness for a few weeks now. I wish I could do more than just offer her tea after she’s done retching. I don’t know what else to do, really. I’ve been taking the mood swings in stride. Though it’s odd how she can go from wanting to tear me limb from limb to being desperately clingly in just a few short hours.
And there’s still too many months of this left....This almost makes me wonder why people reproduce at all. Then I remember that the process is more enjoyable than its result can be.
August
The heat has been insufferable. For the most part, Mizu seems to have moved past the morning sickness. I’m grateful. She’s been trying to adjust her diet in order to provide extra nutrition to the baby. She doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite though.
We finally told everyone about the pregnancy. Mother is thrilled, despite being slightly annoyed we waited this long to tell anyone. She understood though. We weren’t about to jinx it. Also, despite the denials from Mizu, she’s starting to show just a little. I won’t argue, just for the sake of keeping the peace around here (and for keeping my place in the bed...)
September
Well, it seems Mizu has some extra energy all of a sudden. That’s been great, but I don’t know whether to worry or not. I suppose I shouldn’t. The doctor says everything is going well, and the baby is developing normally. I want to know what happened to my energy level?
I did get asked to start work on the nursery. Just as well, as I could do with some monotous work like painting that will clear the mind. I just wish she’s pick a color and stick to it....I was covered in the latest color choice when she came in to the room we’d chosen for the baby, telling me she had felt it kick. I was skeptical until she grabbed my hand and I did feel a light fluttering under her skin. It was....amazing.
October
This...was a long month. Kana called to inform us that she’s having twins. They weren’t sure at first, as apparently her babies’ heart beats are sychronized. And apparently they were difficult to tell that there were two babies on the ultrasound. Though the best news from that day was the fact that Sadaharu fainted from the news. (Yes, Kana-nee did scold me for laughing about that, but I couldn’t help it.)
What made it long was Mizu’s insomnia, nightmares, and just sleep deprivation in general. She still worries over being a bad mother, thanks to that poor excuse of a human being that was her own mother. I still have trouble even thinking about that day, and it always makes me so angry. I admit, I do wonder what happened to her parents, but as long as they never show up at our door, I am willing to let it go.
Mizu said some of the dreams scare her a bit. I think she’s watched too many dramas and anime about other worldly creatures. Besides, when Seiichi left the country, that pretty guaranteed that there isn’t going to be another generation of the “Three Demons”. She swears up and down that’s what some of her dreams are implying. That also reminds me, I should email him soon.
And speaking of Seiichi, Mizu apparently has a very good memory. She was singing when I came home the other day, and it was a song he had written back in high school. I didn’t think any one remembered those projects. (Mizu said it would have been mine, but it’s impossible to sing unaccompanied. I’m not sure if that was a complaint or a compliment....) Anyway, she defended herself by telling me she was singing to the baby. As we’ve both been following the development of a healthy fetus, I had to concede that one to her, as yes, the baby has ears and can hear.
Though, I’m not sure if Mizu has noticed yet, but....I have talked to the baby when she does manage to get some sleep. I hope she hasn’t. I don’t know if she’ll think that I’ve gone crazy, or am just following the advice of various researchers about talking to the fetus.
The other thing that’s happened is that we found out the sex of our baby. It is definitely a boy. That’s a good and bad thing. I’m delighted I’m going to have a son. It’s just more unfortunate for him that his cousin was born first, with the naming tradition that our family follows. And I will most likely be accused of being egotistical when I bring up names to Mizu. And hopefully, he’ll never find this journal where I have admitted this. I suppose we can always defend it with he was named after his great-grandfather.....Sorry, Ren-whatever....
November
Mizu has developed what Mother called the pregnancy waddle. It’s not the most graceful of walks, but it’s not getting her down, so that’s good. We hashed out names, and settled on Rentarou. I suppose it could have been worse. Also, the first baby of one of my best friends has made their appearance in the world already, midway through the month. Mizu is driving Minako crazy with questions about labor and such, and....apparently not liking some of the answers she’s been getting. On the other hand, I’m rather surprised...and not surprised at the same time...at how Genichrou handles his child. It’s almost like he can’t believe he had a part in creating that life. It’s definitely amusing.
Mizu still isn’t sleeping well, and seems to be letting any little thing stress her out. I do what I can to try to help alleviate it. I sometimes wonder if it’s enough. It’s a bit disappointing, but one of our main stress relievers has been out of the question lately. Though to be honest, I thought sexual relations would have ended sooner than they did. I’m surprised it took this long.
I hope this will pass...(the Mizu being stressed part, and the insomnia. I thouroughly expect the other to resume at some point, even if it is at some point after the baby is born....and even with deciding on a name, I can’t quite bring myself to use it just yet....)
December
I have spent every weekend this month working on the nursery. Mizu isn’t due until February, but she’s insisting on having the room ready as soon as possible. Apparently the nesting instinct is starting to kick in, thankfully in low gear for now. She still hasn’t been getting much sleep though. The added weight is causing aches, not to mention the swelling she’s had is not helping her there. I wish I could do more to help ease her through it.
And yet another friend has added another child to the world. I must say, it is a situation that I hope never to leave Mizu in. Though, considering the adults in question...I suppose the child is lucky enough to have been created. I know that sounds rude, but I can’t help but wonder what went on in that mind that Akari went through this more or less alone. Mizu has already volunteered us to help her out however we can. I suppose with Hiroki-kun only being slightly older it won’t hurt for the children to stay together so Akari can work. That was rather a surprise, considering the history Mizu has with Akari....though indirectly I’m to blame for that. Perhaps Akari is finally over what happened about ten years ago. (Then again, I understand her feelings, but I trust that what I heard of that story is the truth. Even if I did doubt it, and had thoughts that something did happen between them, well....I would forgive them both. It’s been so long since then though, why do we keep thinking about it?)
January
Well, despite Mizu’s lack of sleep and other things, we did manage to get the nursery finished midway through this month. We had a couple of slight scares with Mizu panicking over a couple of things which were just normal things at this late stage. I have to admit, I almost had a heart attack of my own when she thought she was going into labor early. It was just her first expierence with Braxton Hicks contractions. I know this is our first child, but....if this our reaction now, I’m afraid at how we’ll react when it is time. This is definitely too late to be having doubts now.
There are a lot of complaints about how she’s ready for the baby to come out already. All I can do is tell her to hang in there. Occasionally I get the “You’re The One That Did This To Me” glare, but most of the time it’s just a half-hearted smile with a promise that she will. I think she’s starting to go a little stir crazy, with not much to do until he does decide to come into the world. Well, stir crazy mixed with the nesting instinct. It seems the nursery is rearrranged almost every other day (though that might be my imagination...).
February
I knew you’d arrive in the middle of the month. I was hoping, oddly enough, for you to arrive on Valnetine’s day. I’m not sure why, especially with the over commercialism that is that once well intentioned holiday. Though...I suppose the day was auspicious enough that it was a Friday.
I’m not even going to bother writing about the hours leading up to your actual birth. It was exhausting for both mother and father, and let’s leave it at that. Just know that the weather was awful, and anything you may see on television that may seem like exaggerations about women in labor...are somewhat based in truth. But you’ve made it into the world, and I know I could not be happier than I am now. (And, just for the record, Kana’s twins arrived two weeks ago, on the first. At least I won’t be considered the only egotistical parent in the family. Poor Sadako...)
You know, I don’t really intend for anyone to read this. I thought perhaps keeping a monthly log of what I went through along with Mizu was a good idea. Though, if ever anyone does read this....well....Friday, February 13, 20xx was one of the best days of my life.
Omake
“What’s this dust covered old book?” Yanagi Ami asked, pulling a thin, hard bound tome out of it’s lonely corner in the top shelf of the tallest bookcase in the house. Despite being the youngest child, though now at the age of 17, she and her elder brother had both inherited their height from their father, and both children towered over their mother. ‘Tarou looked up, and shrugged.
“Why would I know?” He asked.
Ami blew the dust off the cover, and started reading it when she saw that it was in her father’s handwriting. She was reading it earnestly when she came upon one of the passages and started laughing out loud. She handed it quietly to her brother and pointed.
‘Tarou read it, his mouth agape. “Dad!” He groaned.
Ami grinned at him. “At least you’re not still Ren-whatever?”
“I’m going to go curl up in a hole now and die...or go legally change my name.”