Just need to vent
Hello, anyone who reads this. I just need to vent for a few minutes, so bear with me.
Okay. Today truly sucked. And it was all my fault. I caused it. Yes, I know. Mostly it was my self-loathing, self-hated of my own stupidity. I just.. I can't believe what I did yesterday. Well... If you're going to get it, might as well start back from the beginning. (For those of you that just... really don't give a damn, this is where you stop reading.)
Okay. My sister, Kayla, is an absolute moron. And I'm not saying this out of some sister-ly hate or jealousy or anything. Honest to God, she's a moron. She's selfish, and cares for no one but her own needs; Not even her own son. She's twenty-one, and makes the WORST decisions.
She had gotten pregnant from this IDIOT! He still lives with his mother and five other people, and his freaking name is DIGGER! It's actually Walice, but because he used to either dig in the ground or pick his nose, he was dubbed Digger for life. Eww! Well, anyways, this boy is TERRIBLE! They cheat the government and everything! He has ADD so his mother refuses to allow him to get a job, saying he's handy-capped. Dumbass. Okay, I'm tired of talking about him. Anyways..
She got pregnant, had a baby boy named Zachary, and she gave him to us for a week, and in that week, we got very much attached.... Dx
Ya know, I just completely lost interest in writing about this. Long story short, I told the terrible family where Kayla and the baby were by accident, so now they may come and take him because she refuses to give us FULL adoption. SO..
Today sucked because of my dumbass mistake which I just shortened considerably. And it was also from reading Through a Glass, Darkly, for a second time. I downloaded twelve chapters onto my iTouch using my Read It Later app, and throughout the day periodically, read it. And every time I read, I cried, though I wouldn't let my friends see. I didn't want to be near anyone today, just wanted to be alone. I wouldn't even let Sterling, my best guy friend, near me. I told him not to call tonight because I don't want to be near a phone. (Though it IS sitting here with me because I'm the only person in the house who ever answers it and we don't have caller ID, so if it's an emergency, I can't turn the ringer off. Ugh)
I also am in a hitch. I want to draw VxR things, seriously, I do. I still have Dormancy Desire-Chapter three to write, but I'm not sure where to take it right now. I'm stuck. I wouldn't exactly call it writers block.. I just don't know where to take the story. I hadn't planned it out very well. -___-'' I don't know whether to begin it in Richie's POV or Virgil's. The problem is that when Virgil wakes up at night, he gets VERY frisky with Richie, and after he goes to sleep again, and wakes up, he can't remember anything.
But in the first chapter, he's up and about, and hitting on Richie. Richie is very happy about it, but confused, hence his asking Virgil if he was awake. So he freaked out, ran to the bathroom, and uhh.. Relieved Virgil's "effects" on him, whilst us taking a look on when it all started. Now he's supposed to be getting out of the shower, and that's where I'm stuck. I don't know what to pin-point as Virgil's reaction to his nor Richie's reaction. Did he know what he was doing? Did he understand the feelings racing through him as he did so? Perhaps he was experimenting? Do I make it a serious story or adulterated fluff? I'm not good at this! I love writing, but I still suck at it!
Seriously, if ANYONE is reading this, PLEASE HELP! You read the story, right? Do you have an idea of where it should go? Or just want to see something done? Please!
I also still have to do the comic for Sylver and Xilvrin's Oreo VxR picture. I ALSO must finish the L-O-VR one shot. Not to mention the self-project ID for DA.
Jeeze, guys. I feel so... pathetic right now. I really could use some VR inspiration about now. An idea for a drawing or story that I could lose myself in? I just can't focus with the list that I'm procrastinating.
Also, if anyone would like to talk on AIM, do an RP with me, partnership a one shot, something, hit me up. You'll have to comment or message me though, I'm not getting on unless I have reason. Which, at the moment, I don't. Wow. There's that pathetic vibe again.
Well, I don't want to sit here spamming your Friend's Page while you have more important, more interesting things to look at, so I'll end this here.
Thanks for reading, (if anyone bothered), but I don't mind if you didn't.
Okay. Today truly sucked. And it was all my fault. I caused it. Yes, I know. Mostly it was my self-loathing, self-hated of my own stupidity. I just.. I can't believe what I did yesterday. Well... If you're going to get it, might as well start back from the beginning. (For those of you that just... really don't give a damn, this is where you stop reading.)
Okay. My sister, Kayla, is an absolute moron. And I'm not saying this out of some sister-ly hate or jealousy or anything. Honest to God, she's a moron. She's selfish, and cares for no one but her own needs; Not even her own son. She's twenty-one, and makes the WORST decisions.
She had gotten pregnant from this IDIOT! He still lives with his mother and five other people, and his freaking name is DIGGER! It's actually Walice, but because he used to either dig in the ground or pick his nose, he was dubbed Digger for life. Eww! Well, anyways, this boy is TERRIBLE! They cheat the government and everything! He has ADD so his mother refuses to allow him to get a job, saying he's handy-capped. Dumbass. Okay, I'm tired of talking about him. Anyways..
She got pregnant, had a baby boy named Zachary, and she gave him to us for a week, and in that week, we got very much attached.... Dx
Ya know, I just completely lost interest in writing about this. Long story short, I told the terrible family where Kayla and the baby were by accident, so now they may come and take him because she refuses to give us FULL adoption. SO..
Today sucked because of my dumbass mistake which I just shortened considerably. And it was also from reading Through a Glass, Darkly, for a second time. I downloaded twelve chapters onto my iTouch using my Read It Later app, and throughout the day periodically, read it. And every time I read, I cried, though I wouldn't let my friends see. I didn't want to be near anyone today, just wanted to be alone. I wouldn't even let Sterling, my best guy friend, near me. I told him not to call tonight because I don't want to be near a phone. (Though it IS sitting here with me because I'm the only person in the house who ever answers it and we don't have caller ID, so if it's an emergency, I can't turn the ringer off. Ugh)
I also am in a hitch. I want to draw VxR things, seriously, I do. I still have Dormancy Desire-Chapter three to write, but I'm not sure where to take it right now. I'm stuck. I wouldn't exactly call it writers block.. I just don't know where to take the story. I hadn't planned it out very well. -___-'' I don't know whether to begin it in Richie's POV or Virgil's. The problem is that when Virgil wakes up at night, he gets VERY frisky with Richie, and after he goes to sleep again, and wakes up, he can't remember anything.
But in the first chapter, he's up and about, and hitting on Richie. Richie is very happy about it, but confused, hence his asking Virgil if he was awake. So he freaked out, ran to the bathroom, and uhh.. Relieved Virgil's "effects" on him, whilst us taking a look on when it all started. Now he's supposed to be getting out of the shower, and that's where I'm stuck. I don't know what to pin-point as Virgil's reaction to his nor Richie's reaction. Did he know what he was doing? Did he understand the feelings racing through him as he did so? Perhaps he was experimenting? Do I make it a serious story or adulterated fluff? I'm not good at this! I love writing, but I still suck at it!
Seriously, if ANYONE is reading this, PLEASE HELP! You read the story, right? Do you have an idea of where it should go? Or just want to see something done? Please!
I also still have to do the comic for Sylver and Xilvrin's Oreo VxR picture. I ALSO must finish the L-O-VR one shot. Not to mention the self-project ID for DA.
Jeeze, guys. I feel so... pathetic right now. I really could use some VR inspiration about now. An idea for a drawing or story that I could lose myself in? I just can't focus with the list that I'm procrastinating.
Also, if anyone would like to talk on AIM, do an RP with me, partnership a one shot, something, hit me up. You'll have to comment or message me though, I'm not getting on unless I have reason. Which, at the moment, I don't. Wow. There's that pathetic vibe again.
Well, I don't want to sit here spamming your Friend's Page while you have more important, more interesting things to look at, so I'll end this here.
Thanks for reading, (if anyone bothered), but I don't mind if you didn't.