Hands On Experience
Title: Hands On Experience
Author: inugrlrayn
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Word Count: 4,753
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Ed kind of failing at toys? Which is not so much a warning for squick as a warning for epic ridiculousness.
Summary: The result of Ed figuring out that neither he or Roy actually know what they're doing exactly.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story.
The rest of my fics are here.
Ed’s first reaction to Roy’s quiet confession that he hadn’t done this either was to smile, warm and heartbreakingly pleased. There was something about the idea of sharing at least this one thing with Roy first that pulled tightly in his chest. Ignoring what may have been embarrassment in Roy’s expression, Ed proceeded to wind himself around his lover, kissing him senseless.
Ed’s second reaction was to panic. It took a while, about the same amount of time it took Roy to strip him of his clothes before it hit him that neither of them really knew what they were doing. The realization flopped violently in his stomach, much as he tried to ignore it.
He tried to pretend he was even marginally convinced that this was going to work. Ed’s hands, to his credit, only trembled faintly as he fumbled with the clasp of Roy’s pants. He dragged the last of Roy’s clothes down over his hips, and really? There was no way that was going to even begin to fit. Suddenly, he was not nearly drunk enough for this.
“We don’t have to, Ed,” Roy murmured against his hair, fingers combing tenderly through it. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard Roy say. Even knowing he’d kick himself over it later, Ed nodded gratefully.
Roy didn’t push the issue. He didn’t even seem to mind. Somehow, that only made Ed feel worse.
Maybe if he just knew what he was doing… Ed clung to that idea. Research had always served him well in the past, anyway. For a little while, Ed actually believed that the library could solve this particular problem for him.
Three hours later, Ed did not believe that the library was the solution. He’d combed every shelf that might have even possibly had anything he could use. His search had turned up one book that was even a little bit helpful, and that wasn’t really saying a whole lot.
Out of other ideas, Ed resigned himself to a mortifying trip to a store in a part of town he generally avoided like the plague. Despite being certain he was going to die of embarrassment, as long as the girl behind the counter didn’t actually try to make eye contact with him, he thought there might be a vague possibility that he’d survive. She seemed to know what she was talking about and was kind enough not to comment on the way that, even mostly hiding behind his bangs, Ed’s cheeks were absolutely crimson. In the end, Ed left at least a bit more informed than he had been, and armed with a bag full of items he spent the entire trip home trying desperately to hide behind.
Ed glanced at the clock as he walked in the door. He had an hour before Roy was due home. For the first time since they’d moved in together, Ed sort of missed the privacy of his own apartment.
Still, he could make this work. In fact, Ed was pretty certain he had to make this work. He’d be damned if he went through all that for nothing. More importantly, he absolutely could not be held responsible for his actions if he had to stand there through someone other than Roy telling him what he ought to be shoving inside himself ever, ever again.
Ed made his way quite purposefully up the stairs. He headed straight for the bedroom, dumping the contents across the bedspread. Ed glared at three different toys, especially the vibrating one he was terrified of that that girl had insisted he’d like if he gave it the chance. He’d nearly sunk through the floor just on principle, and he’d gotten it just so he wouldn’t have to hear her talk about it for another second.
Ed undressed solemnly, as if it were the most serious thing he’d ever done, his eyes on the bed like, if he stopped watching for even a moment, something there was liable to bite him. He wondered if perhaps this wasn’t the brightest idea after all, because somehow, Roy not being here made him no less nervous. It was his stubbornness more than anything that kept him from scrapping the idea altogether.
The mattress gave easily as Ed crawled onto it, flopping down right in the middle. Already edgy in nervous anticipation, the rustle of sheets against his bare skin sent shivers down his spine. The pillows still smelled like Roy and Ed didn’t bother to suppress a small smile at that as he tried to relax against them.
Ed closed his eyes, a soft, shuddery sigh leaving his lips as he tried to keep calm. His fingers edged across the sheets, flinching when they bumped against one of the toys. He turned his head enough to glare at the offending piece of plastic, resisting the urge to shove it further away.
Deciding the whole situation was getting a bit ridiculous, Ed resolutely turned his attention away from the toy. He stared at the ceiling instead as he dragged his fingers near enough to brush over his chest. Despite wishing Roy’s hands were on him instead, that at least felt good.
If he could just relax… he was vaguely aware that relaxing was supposed to be important. Ed focused on distracting himself from the inevitable as long as possible. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done.
Very slowly, Ed ran splayed fingers down the length of his torso, and back up again. The change of pace was a bit jarring given the way he tended to rush. He almost gave in to the way his cock twitched when his hand moved vaguely in its direction, whining as he made himself skim his fingers back up his belly.
Another downward sweep, tracing his own ribs and stomach. Ed whimpered as the pads of his fingers briefly trailed over the head of his cock. He had to clench them into a fist to keep from wrapping them around it entirely and finish right then and there.
Ed growled, annoyed and just a little bit frantic as he made another sweep of his bare skin. He traced the divots of his hips painfully slowly, biting his lip. Obviously, that girl didn’t have the slightest idea what she was talking about. This was not remotely relaxing. This was liable to kill him before he got anywhere at all.
Nails dragged over his hips and Ed arched up against them, breath hissing through his teeth. His brows furrowed in confusion, even as he wriggled against the sheets. He’d hardly done anything interesting at all. Why should he already be panting?
He was going to make this work, one way or another. Extraordinarily difficult as it was, he bypassed his cock completely, slipping a hand between his legs to cup his balls instead. Ed nearly bit his tongue on the low, pleading sound that bled past his lips.
For a moment, that was all Ed did, licking his lips as he rolled them in his hand. Slowly, he worked up the courage to part his thighs a little more. Maybe it was good Roy wasn’t here after all. Ed was certain he’d never live down the embarrassed flush that spread across his cheeks and down his chest even with no one else watching.
Ed’s breathing was harsh as he finally found the courage to move. He carefully traced his way along the smooth skin behind his balls, as if there were some sort of actual possibility of getting lost. He was beginning to feel a little bit silly, because it wasn’t like he’d never been touched before and Roy would have actually done something worthwhile by now. Scratch that, actually, because Roy was a fucking tease.
The first time the pads of his fingers brushed over his entrance was practically an accident. He nearly jumped out of his skin before his body registered that it didn’t actually feel bad. Ed managed to settle onto the bed once more, tongue stuck out in concentration as he tried to decide if it was a pleasant sensation or not.
Legs moving outward of their own accord, Ed tried again. He moved with more purpose this time, fingers swiping along the cleft of his ass to the tune of a low, surprisingly pleasured sigh. It wasn’t at all what he expected, and Ed practically sagged in relief.
Well, that wasn’t so bad. The sensation was more odd than genuinely uncomfortable. Ed took a breath, closing his eyes as he sank against the bedding.
Ed had a feeling he was forgetting something. He mentally ticked off instructions, trying very much to think of what it was, and not about where they came from in the process. He seemed to be doing alright so far. At least… he was fairly certain he was doing alright given he had nothing else to go on.
Feeling a little braver, Ed’s legs parted further. His brows furrowed in concentration as he rubbed too fingers over his entrance, trying to get used to the idea. Ed’s free hand twisted a bit fretfully at the dark blue sheets, even as he came to the conclusion that it almost felt good.
That particular conclusion did not last very long. A little bit overly confident with his success and as impatient as ever, Ed tried to press a finger inside. It didn’t seem like it was working at first, and Ed sighed irritably, doing what he generally did. He pushed harder. It worked, absolutely nothing like intended. The resulting pain overwhelmed everything else and Ed bit his lip on a hurt, startled sound, his free hand tugging urgently at the bedding.
Normally, anywhere else, it might not have been so bad. He was used to pain, half expected it even. This though, when he was already reeling, already so terribly sensitive, made his stomach lurch threateningly, and only the fact that he was afraid to pull his hand back kept him from doubling over. He couldn’t stay like this, though, and keeping still didn’t seem to do much to make him feel better. Bracing himself, forgetting entirely the way that tensing only made matters worse, he yanked his hand back, gasping sharply.
Pretty certain it was not, in all actuality, meant to feel that way, Ed waited for the pain to subside. Perhaps he was just broken. If he couldn’t handle one finger, how was he going to manage with Roy? Of more immediate importance, how could he possibly take one of those toys? He glanced warily over at them, as if they might be sneaking up on him while he was distracted. His eyes flicked speculatively over each one, trying to sort out which was least likely to make him pass out or lose his lunch. It was about then that he caught sight of a small bottle, forgotten in his rush to jump right in and get good at this already.
Ed sighed, annoyed at the whole situation. He mostly didn’t hurt, though he briefly wondered if this was really worth it or not. He’d be damned if he let one tiny mishap stop him though, after all the trouble he went through. Scowling at his fingers, Ed picked up the bottle, unceremoniously flipping the cap open.
Squeezing the bottle, Ed spread some of the cool, slick liquid over his fingers. Immediately, he dragged his hand between his legs, trying to get this over with before he chickened out again. Ed took a breath, remembering just in time that he had to relax as he cautiously slipped a single finger inside.
There was no hindrance now, leaving Ed’s finger buried to the first knuckle before his head had quite acknowledged that he’d managed not to hurt himself this time. His lips parted on a grateful sigh, tension seeping from his shoulders as he adjusted. The earlier mishap all but forgotten in light of his current success, Ed pulled his finger out most of the way before pressing back in.
Whatever he had expected, this wasn’t remotely it. There was an eerie sort of disconnect, even as he lifted his head to look. Each careful movement was so drastically different from his usual habits, so far from the frantic pace he usually favored, his body didn’t quite seem to register that any of this was his own doing. Ed’s focus was already fraying with each shift of his wrist.
“Fuck,” Ed cursed at the ceiling, biting his lip on a low moan. The strangeness of all this was rapidly wearing off. His finger, still slick with lube, moved easily, and he was beginning to think that this might not be so bad after all.
Ed was so caught up in what he was doing, he forgot the time entirely. It took a moment for Ed to realize that the sound he’d heard over his own stuttered moan was the front door closing. By the time he realized it, there were footsteps on the stairs. Ed panicked, scrabbling for a solution.
There was no way to hide all this and get dressed in the time it would take Roy to make his way down the hallway. With no forthcoming alternative, Ed settled on the only other thing he could think of. Maybe Roy would buy that he’d really meant to be caught sprawled out naked, the sheets strewn with sex toys and lube. He fought the urge to retreat under the blankets, focusing what he really hoped was an irresistibly sexy look towards the door Roy would be coming through any second.
“Ed?” Roy’s voice reached Ed’s ears before the man himself appeared. Roy looked like he might have meant to say something further, but he froze in the doorway, eyes wide in surprise. Under other circumstances, circumstanced that didn’t leave him in quite so compromising a position, Ed would have gloated at getting so obvious a reaction. Now, it was all he could do just to breathe.
“What?” Ed demanded, bristling when things didn’t immediately go the way he’d meant them to. Every second that passed only made him more nervous. His mind helpfully counted off all the reasons Roy might still be standing all the way over there in the entrance to be bedroom,, each worse than the last. He gave Roy a helpless look, ready to call the whole thing off.
Only, Roy wasn’t in the doorway anymore. He closed the distance between them, only pausing at the very edge of the bed. If he caught on that this particular situation was a product of desperation rather than planning on Ed’s part, he kindly didn’t mention it. Completely overwhelmed by the whole situation, Ed nearly missed the faint, nervous shiver in Roy’s voice as he purred, “Did you want some help with that?”
No, no actually he didn’t really. Not that he didn’t appreciate Roy’s hands on him pretty much always, but figuring this out on his own had been the entire point of doing this when Roy was at work. He couldn’t really kick Roy out though, and having him just sit there and watch seemed infinitely more terrifying. Deciding it was the most pleasant option, Ed swallowed hard, nodding his head.
XXXXX
Ed flushed all the way down his chest as Roy’s hand covered his, still pressed between his thighs. He bit his lip to stifle a low moan at the warm slide of slick fingertips over his knuckles. Hesitantly, Ed parted his legs further as Roy touched him.
Ed half expected Roy to pull his hand away, pushing him to release what control over the situation he had. He didn’t. Roy only followed Ed’s finger to where it was still buried inside him, nearly forgotten in the face of everything else. Not sure what to make of it, Ed lay very still as Roy rubbed teasingly at Ed’s entrance, finally beginning to nudge his finger alongside Ed’s.
He braced himself for the pain he was sure was coming, but there wasn’t any. The pressure was strange all over again, but Roy was quick to distract him with the flat of a tongue sweeping over the underside of his cock. The added pressure, the slide of Roy’s finger against his made Ed’s toes curl, and he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing out a trembling sigh.
The rhythm was off, too fast or too slow, or different directions, and Ed hissed at the slight discomfort of it. Roy’s thumb stroked over the back of Ed’s hand, palm curling around his knuckles, and despite the awkwardness of it all, Ed’s breath hitched as he realized Roy had completely surrendered control. He moved experimentally, shocked though he knew he ought not to be, at the way Roy simply moved with him, gentle and fluid.
If he hadn’t been so nervous and wanting, reeling at what was happening, Ed might have envied Roy’s ability to be subtle even in this. Ed didn’t even notice the way Roy’s finger curled upward, nudging his along with it until they were both brushing against something that made him shudder from his jaw down to this toes, lips parted on a startled, pleasured sound. Academically, he knew what was happening, but he’d been so distracted, he hadn’t actually thought to explore anything beyond the very most basic.
Ed swallowed hard, eyes rolling back as he slumped against the pillows. He’d hoped this wouldn’t be too terribly painful, or he’d figure out how to tough it out before having to add Roy into the equation, but this. Once again, Roy guided Ed’s finger over his sweet spot. Ed gasped and shivered and only barely caught the way Roy grinned. He tried very hard to scowl between the soft, stuttered moans that crept past his lips, realizing belatedly that Roy hadn’t actually ever said he didn’t have some idea of what he was doing. Trying to be irritated, but too turned on to genuinely care, Ed gave up, pressing back shamelessly against the intrusion.
They fell into some sort of less disjointed pace, and in between the way Ed’s body writhed in pleasure whether he wanted it to or not, he was struck by how easily they always seemed to make this work. One golden eye cracked open, and Ed found his gaze glued to Roy’s strangely guileless expression. It was as if the fact that Roy no longer thought Ed was watching him had let him stop pretending. He was so very intent, brows knit ever so slightly, and it spoke volumes. Ed closed his eye again, torn between nervousness and relief that Roy was apparently playing this by ear every bit as much as he was. Luckily, Roy was either stupidly good at improvising, or ridiculously lucky.
His heart raced and the world was spinning, and Ed was reasonably certain that he wouldn’t last long like this. Very reluctantly, he reminded himself of how this was not at all how he meant things to go. Automail fingers crept across the bed sheets, and oh hell, he was pretty sure he couldn’t bring himself to actually look at what he was grabbing, so he just wrapped his fingers around the first toy he came across. Even the word made him want to curl up in embarrassment, so he tried not to think it either.
Ed only looked as he very roughly shoved what he was holding at Roy, forcing his companion to take it before he chickened out completely. Well of course it was the stupid vibrating one, but Roy’s fingers were already wrapped around it, his expression thoughtfully sharp on Ed. Not about to explain that he hadn’t actually picked that out and have to relive what had already been a painfully awkward conversation the first time around, Ed couldn’t really take it back, so he flopped his head back, hoping Roy would mistake his scowl for impatience rather than pick apart the truth.
It took a moment to register that the whimper he heard had come from his own mouth as Roy gently pulled both their hands away. Without the distraction, he was a little bit terrified all over again, much as he tried to hide it. For once the way Roy always read him so infuriatingly well was a blessing, and Ed felt his body begrudgingly relax as a warm hand swept over his stomach and hips.
He wasn’t sure when it was exactly that Roy had the time or dexterity to even get the cap off the bottle, but the toy that nudged against the cleft of his ass was slick with lube. All slipperiness aside, pressing lightly against his entrance, it was already noticeably bigger than two fingers. This was why Ed had meant to be doing this alone. He was reasonably certain it was going to hurt like the dickens, he’d scream like a girl, and never want anything like that near him ever again. Only now his excuse wouldn’t be that he was clumsy and had probably just messed up so much as that Roy was a moron who had made him scream like a girl and would probably never live it down and was not coming near him like that ever again. The end.
Ed caught on to the way his mind was babbling inanely, about the same time that he also realized Roy hadn’t actually done anything. It’s like the stupid, sneaky bastard just knew what his frazzled brain was up to and was waiting for him to get all of the frantic, nervous thoughts out of his system. It would be sweet if Ed had any room to concede that sometimes Roy managed to be sweet. As it was, he just parsed it as Roy being a stupid, sneaky bastard… who was petting on him like they had all the time in the world, and looking at him with that soft look he sometimes got when it was just the two of them and he was about to say something sappy and ridiculous.
Ed squirmed impatiently, right up until Roy’s free hand found his human fingers, immediately guiding them to his mostly ignored cock. So what, now on top of every other humiliating thing that had happened, Roy wanted to watch him jerk off? Not bloody likely. Only Roy’s hand nudged him along and short circuited his brain because he was so wound up and even that slight bit of attention felt so good,that Ed could no more stop this than he could stop breathing.
He was so distracted that he forgot to tense up when Roy finally pressed forward, smoothly burying the toy inside him. It hurt, but not nearly the way he expected, the burn of slightly overextended muscle almost a pleasant sensation. Ed bit his lip, trying to work out when exactly his mind had ever got the impression that he liked any sort of pain, but the strain of it, coupled with the way his palm skimmed the underside of his cock only made him moan in a confused sort of pleasure.
“Are you alright?” Suddenly Roy’s voice was very near Ed’s ear, and he wasn’t sure how Roy had managed to get the close to him all of a sudden, but there was no mistaking that awestruck, slightly undone expression on his companion’s face as anyone who knew exactly what they were doing. Ed was suddenly very proud of how in tune they were with each other despite that.
The way Ed’s body wriggled desperately as Roy slid the toy easily in and out had very little to do with the fact that Roy was fucking him with a piece of… silicone was it? Rubber? Something that was meant to feel exactly like a real cock, and actually felt pretty much nothing like one, that his scientific mind had been too completely squelched out by embarrassment to really examine and find out what it was. More of what was crawling along his nerves had to do with the fact that it was Roy who was doing it, and suddenly his lover walking in on him like that was no longer the very worst thing that could have happened.
Roy was perhaps a bit less adept with the toy than he had been with his fingers. He shifted the angle, probably trying to hit the bundle of nerves that had had Ed nearly unraveled before. Each thrust missed, maddeningly close, which irritated and relieved Ed by turns because he wasn’t sure he could hold out even another second if Roy actually hit it.
Very distantly, Ed could hear the slide of a zipper, and the way Roy hissed through his teeth. Well that, he supposed, meant not having to figure out how to make returning the favor not awkward. The thought didn’t linger as Roy fucked him harder, and there was a very slight falter in the rhythm of it. Ed wasn’t sure what to make of until the toy was… moving, vibrating inside him and it didn’t even matter if Roy wasn’t exactly hitting the right spot when it shuddered against his insides with each thrust.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” Ed whined and shoved back against it, dizzy with sensation. Not that he was ever setting foot in that shop again, let alone admitting to the clerk that she’d been right, but it was good, overwhelmingly so. Every move Roy made, and the ragged, pleasured sounds that just barely made it to Ed’s ears only shoved him further towards the edge.
He did cry out then, but it wasn’t in agony, and he didn’t sound remotely like a girl. Ed howled as if there were nothing like coherence left in him, his hand moving frantically. Automail fingers scrabbled at the sheets, threatening to rip right through them as Ed panted and arched off the bed, coming across his belly and the front of Roy’s shirt. Boneless and out of his mind, Ed nearly missed the rest.
Roy’s eyes were still on him, or at least in his direction. They were unfocused now, dark and bottomless. Ed stared, undone and dazed and completely dazzled by Roy’s lips, parted slightly in pleasure, and the flush that spread across his pale skin. Completely undone, Ed’s body didn’t really seem inclined to move, but somehow he managed to nudge his twitching fingers into reaching out, settling almost innocently over Roy’s knuckles.
The sound he made was desperate and keening, like Ed had done something far more intimate. Ed could only watch, the part of his mind that had managed to cobble itself back together utterly entranced. Roy was stupidly pretty anyway, but like this, Ed could hardly breathe. He found himself murmuring something, though he wasn’t aware of the words, and then his fingers were warm and sticky and Roy was collapsed half on top of him.
They really ought to go take a shower. They and the sheets were a mess, and already Ed could feel the soreness of everything creeping through him. His body seemed to translate “go take a shower” as “snuggle with Roy” though, so despite the way every muscle complained, he rolled over, wedging himself against Roy’s chest, damp shirt be damned. Distantly, he felt Roy’s arm drape over the dip of his waist, clutching him like something precious, but already he was sleepy, his frazzled mind threatening to shut down entirely.
“I hope getting walked in on wasn’t too inconvenient for you,” Roy murmured, the soft cadence of his voice nearly as enticing as well placed fingers, and damn he was helpless when his lover did that. If he weren’t completely exhausted already, he might have done something about it. No, no he supposed it hadn’t been so bad after all and Ed almost said as much except… Except that bastard had known all along!
“I didn’t clock you over the head, did I? Quit fishing for compliments, you jerk,” Ed grumbled, deciding that how absolutely stunning the whole thing had turned out to be made up for that… barely.
Roy was laughing, most likely at him, but there were lips against his before he could complain too much, and nimble fingers skimming his spine. He muttered what was meant to be an insult, but it was lost in a soft, pleased sound as Roy’s tongue swiped across his lips briefly before straying entirely. Ed was already forgetting what it was he had to be irritated about, his eyes fluttering shut as Roy’s mouth traced his cheekbone.
Author: inugrlrayn
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Word Count: 4,753
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Ed kind of failing at toys? Which is not so much a warning for squick as a warning for epic ridiculousness.
Summary: The result of Ed figuring out that neither he or Roy actually know what they're doing exactly.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story.
The rest of my fics are here.
Ed’s first reaction to Roy’s quiet confession that he hadn’t done this either was to smile, warm and heartbreakingly pleased. There was something about the idea of sharing at least this one thing with Roy first that pulled tightly in his chest. Ignoring what may have been embarrassment in Roy’s expression, Ed proceeded to wind himself around his lover, kissing him senseless.
Ed’s second reaction was to panic. It took a while, about the same amount of time it took Roy to strip him of his clothes before it hit him that neither of them really knew what they were doing. The realization flopped violently in his stomach, much as he tried to ignore it.
He tried to pretend he was even marginally convinced that this was going to work. Ed’s hands, to his credit, only trembled faintly as he fumbled with the clasp of Roy’s pants. He dragged the last of Roy’s clothes down over his hips, and really? There was no way that was going to even begin to fit. Suddenly, he was not nearly drunk enough for this.
“We don’t have to, Ed,” Roy murmured against his hair, fingers combing tenderly through it. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard Roy say. Even knowing he’d kick himself over it later, Ed nodded gratefully.
Roy didn’t push the issue. He didn’t even seem to mind. Somehow, that only made Ed feel worse.
Maybe if he just knew what he was doing… Ed clung to that idea. Research had always served him well in the past, anyway. For a little while, Ed actually believed that the library could solve this particular problem for him.
Three hours later, Ed did not believe that the library was the solution. He’d combed every shelf that might have even possibly had anything he could use. His search had turned up one book that was even a little bit helpful, and that wasn’t really saying a whole lot.
Out of other ideas, Ed resigned himself to a mortifying trip to a store in a part of town he generally avoided like the plague. Despite being certain he was going to die of embarrassment, as long as the girl behind the counter didn’t actually try to make eye contact with him, he thought there might be a vague possibility that he’d survive. She seemed to know what she was talking about and was kind enough not to comment on the way that, even mostly hiding behind his bangs, Ed’s cheeks were absolutely crimson. In the end, Ed left at least a bit more informed than he had been, and armed with a bag full of items he spent the entire trip home trying desperately to hide behind.
Ed glanced at the clock as he walked in the door. He had an hour before Roy was due home. For the first time since they’d moved in together, Ed sort of missed the privacy of his own apartment.
Still, he could make this work. In fact, Ed was pretty certain he had to make this work. He’d be damned if he went through all that for nothing. More importantly, he absolutely could not be held responsible for his actions if he had to stand there through someone other than Roy telling him what he ought to be shoving inside himself ever, ever again.
Ed made his way quite purposefully up the stairs. He headed straight for the bedroom, dumping the contents across the bedspread. Ed glared at three different toys, especially the vibrating one he was terrified of that that girl had insisted he’d like if he gave it the chance. He’d nearly sunk through the floor just on principle, and he’d gotten it just so he wouldn’t have to hear her talk about it for another second.
Ed undressed solemnly, as if it were the most serious thing he’d ever done, his eyes on the bed like, if he stopped watching for even a moment, something there was liable to bite him. He wondered if perhaps this wasn’t the brightest idea after all, because somehow, Roy not being here made him no less nervous. It was his stubbornness more than anything that kept him from scrapping the idea altogether.
The mattress gave easily as Ed crawled onto it, flopping down right in the middle. Already edgy in nervous anticipation, the rustle of sheets against his bare skin sent shivers down his spine. The pillows still smelled like Roy and Ed didn’t bother to suppress a small smile at that as he tried to relax against them.
Ed closed his eyes, a soft, shuddery sigh leaving his lips as he tried to keep calm. His fingers edged across the sheets, flinching when they bumped against one of the toys. He turned his head enough to glare at the offending piece of plastic, resisting the urge to shove it further away.
Deciding the whole situation was getting a bit ridiculous, Ed resolutely turned his attention away from the toy. He stared at the ceiling instead as he dragged his fingers near enough to brush over his chest. Despite wishing Roy’s hands were on him instead, that at least felt good.
If he could just relax… he was vaguely aware that relaxing was supposed to be important. Ed focused on distracting himself from the inevitable as long as possible. Unfortunately, it was easier said than done.
Very slowly, Ed ran splayed fingers down the length of his torso, and back up again. The change of pace was a bit jarring given the way he tended to rush. He almost gave in to the way his cock twitched when his hand moved vaguely in its direction, whining as he made himself skim his fingers back up his belly.
Another downward sweep, tracing his own ribs and stomach. Ed whimpered as the pads of his fingers briefly trailed over the head of his cock. He had to clench them into a fist to keep from wrapping them around it entirely and finish right then and there.
Ed growled, annoyed and just a little bit frantic as he made another sweep of his bare skin. He traced the divots of his hips painfully slowly, biting his lip. Obviously, that girl didn’t have the slightest idea what she was talking about. This was not remotely relaxing. This was liable to kill him before he got anywhere at all.
Nails dragged over his hips and Ed arched up against them, breath hissing through his teeth. His brows furrowed in confusion, even as he wriggled against the sheets. He’d hardly done anything interesting at all. Why should he already be panting?
He was going to make this work, one way or another. Extraordinarily difficult as it was, he bypassed his cock completely, slipping a hand between his legs to cup his balls instead. Ed nearly bit his tongue on the low, pleading sound that bled past his lips.
For a moment, that was all Ed did, licking his lips as he rolled them in his hand. Slowly, he worked up the courage to part his thighs a little more. Maybe it was good Roy wasn’t here after all. Ed was certain he’d never live down the embarrassed flush that spread across his cheeks and down his chest even with no one else watching.
Ed’s breathing was harsh as he finally found the courage to move. He carefully traced his way along the smooth skin behind his balls, as if there were some sort of actual possibility of getting lost. He was beginning to feel a little bit silly, because it wasn’t like he’d never been touched before and Roy would have actually done something worthwhile by now. Scratch that, actually, because Roy was a fucking tease.
The first time the pads of his fingers brushed over his entrance was practically an accident. He nearly jumped out of his skin before his body registered that it didn’t actually feel bad. Ed managed to settle onto the bed once more, tongue stuck out in concentration as he tried to decide if it was a pleasant sensation or not.
Legs moving outward of their own accord, Ed tried again. He moved with more purpose this time, fingers swiping along the cleft of his ass to the tune of a low, surprisingly pleasured sigh. It wasn’t at all what he expected, and Ed practically sagged in relief.
Well, that wasn’t so bad. The sensation was more odd than genuinely uncomfortable. Ed took a breath, closing his eyes as he sank against the bedding.
Ed had a feeling he was forgetting something. He mentally ticked off instructions, trying very much to think of what it was, and not about where they came from in the process. He seemed to be doing alright so far. At least… he was fairly certain he was doing alright given he had nothing else to go on.
Feeling a little braver, Ed’s legs parted further. His brows furrowed in concentration as he rubbed too fingers over his entrance, trying to get used to the idea. Ed’s free hand twisted a bit fretfully at the dark blue sheets, even as he came to the conclusion that it almost felt good.
That particular conclusion did not last very long. A little bit overly confident with his success and as impatient as ever, Ed tried to press a finger inside. It didn’t seem like it was working at first, and Ed sighed irritably, doing what he generally did. He pushed harder. It worked, absolutely nothing like intended. The resulting pain overwhelmed everything else and Ed bit his lip on a hurt, startled sound, his free hand tugging urgently at the bedding.
Normally, anywhere else, it might not have been so bad. He was used to pain, half expected it even. This though, when he was already reeling, already so terribly sensitive, made his stomach lurch threateningly, and only the fact that he was afraid to pull his hand back kept him from doubling over. He couldn’t stay like this, though, and keeping still didn’t seem to do much to make him feel better. Bracing himself, forgetting entirely the way that tensing only made matters worse, he yanked his hand back, gasping sharply.
Pretty certain it was not, in all actuality, meant to feel that way, Ed waited for the pain to subside. Perhaps he was just broken. If he couldn’t handle one finger, how was he going to manage with Roy? Of more immediate importance, how could he possibly take one of those toys? He glanced warily over at them, as if they might be sneaking up on him while he was distracted. His eyes flicked speculatively over each one, trying to sort out which was least likely to make him pass out or lose his lunch. It was about then that he caught sight of a small bottle, forgotten in his rush to jump right in and get good at this already.
Ed sighed, annoyed at the whole situation. He mostly didn’t hurt, though he briefly wondered if this was really worth it or not. He’d be damned if he let one tiny mishap stop him though, after all the trouble he went through. Scowling at his fingers, Ed picked up the bottle, unceremoniously flipping the cap open.
Squeezing the bottle, Ed spread some of the cool, slick liquid over his fingers. Immediately, he dragged his hand between his legs, trying to get this over with before he chickened out again. Ed took a breath, remembering just in time that he had to relax as he cautiously slipped a single finger inside.
There was no hindrance now, leaving Ed’s finger buried to the first knuckle before his head had quite acknowledged that he’d managed not to hurt himself this time. His lips parted on a grateful sigh, tension seeping from his shoulders as he adjusted. The earlier mishap all but forgotten in light of his current success, Ed pulled his finger out most of the way before pressing back in.
Whatever he had expected, this wasn’t remotely it. There was an eerie sort of disconnect, even as he lifted his head to look. Each careful movement was so drastically different from his usual habits, so far from the frantic pace he usually favored, his body didn’t quite seem to register that any of this was his own doing. Ed’s focus was already fraying with each shift of his wrist.
“Fuck,” Ed cursed at the ceiling, biting his lip on a low moan. The strangeness of all this was rapidly wearing off. His finger, still slick with lube, moved easily, and he was beginning to think that this might not be so bad after all.
Ed was so caught up in what he was doing, he forgot the time entirely. It took a moment for Ed to realize that the sound he’d heard over his own stuttered moan was the front door closing. By the time he realized it, there were footsteps on the stairs. Ed panicked, scrabbling for a solution.
There was no way to hide all this and get dressed in the time it would take Roy to make his way down the hallway. With no forthcoming alternative, Ed settled on the only other thing he could think of. Maybe Roy would buy that he’d really meant to be caught sprawled out naked, the sheets strewn with sex toys and lube. He fought the urge to retreat under the blankets, focusing what he really hoped was an irresistibly sexy look towards the door Roy would be coming through any second.
“Ed?” Roy’s voice reached Ed’s ears before the man himself appeared. Roy looked like he might have meant to say something further, but he froze in the doorway, eyes wide in surprise. Under other circumstances, circumstanced that didn’t leave him in quite so compromising a position, Ed would have gloated at getting so obvious a reaction. Now, it was all he could do just to breathe.
“What?” Ed demanded, bristling when things didn’t immediately go the way he’d meant them to. Every second that passed only made him more nervous. His mind helpfully counted off all the reasons Roy might still be standing all the way over there in the entrance to be bedroom,, each worse than the last. He gave Roy a helpless look, ready to call the whole thing off.
Only, Roy wasn’t in the doorway anymore. He closed the distance between them, only pausing at the very edge of the bed. If he caught on that this particular situation was a product of desperation rather than planning on Ed’s part, he kindly didn’t mention it. Completely overwhelmed by the whole situation, Ed nearly missed the faint, nervous shiver in Roy’s voice as he purred, “Did you want some help with that?”
No, no actually he didn’t really. Not that he didn’t appreciate Roy’s hands on him pretty much always, but figuring this out on his own had been the entire point of doing this when Roy was at work. He couldn’t really kick Roy out though, and having him just sit there and watch seemed infinitely more terrifying. Deciding it was the most pleasant option, Ed swallowed hard, nodding his head.
XXXXX
Ed flushed all the way down his chest as Roy’s hand covered his, still pressed between his thighs. He bit his lip to stifle a low moan at the warm slide of slick fingertips over his knuckles. Hesitantly, Ed parted his legs further as Roy touched him.
Ed half expected Roy to pull his hand away, pushing him to release what control over the situation he had. He didn’t. Roy only followed Ed’s finger to where it was still buried inside him, nearly forgotten in the face of everything else. Not sure what to make of it, Ed lay very still as Roy rubbed teasingly at Ed’s entrance, finally beginning to nudge his finger alongside Ed’s.
He braced himself for the pain he was sure was coming, but there wasn’t any. The pressure was strange all over again, but Roy was quick to distract him with the flat of a tongue sweeping over the underside of his cock. The added pressure, the slide of Roy’s finger against his made Ed’s toes curl, and he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing out a trembling sigh.
The rhythm was off, too fast or too slow, or different directions, and Ed hissed at the slight discomfort of it. Roy’s thumb stroked over the back of Ed’s hand, palm curling around his knuckles, and despite the awkwardness of it all, Ed’s breath hitched as he realized Roy had completely surrendered control. He moved experimentally, shocked though he knew he ought not to be, at the way Roy simply moved with him, gentle and fluid.
If he hadn’t been so nervous and wanting, reeling at what was happening, Ed might have envied Roy’s ability to be subtle even in this. Ed didn’t even notice the way Roy’s finger curled upward, nudging his along with it until they were both brushing against something that made him shudder from his jaw down to this toes, lips parted on a startled, pleasured sound. Academically, he knew what was happening, but he’d been so distracted, he hadn’t actually thought to explore anything beyond the very most basic.
Ed swallowed hard, eyes rolling back as he slumped against the pillows. He’d hoped this wouldn’t be too terribly painful, or he’d figure out how to tough it out before having to add Roy into the equation, but this. Once again, Roy guided Ed’s finger over his sweet spot. Ed gasped and shivered and only barely caught the way Roy grinned. He tried very hard to scowl between the soft, stuttered moans that crept past his lips, realizing belatedly that Roy hadn’t actually ever said he didn’t have some idea of what he was doing. Trying to be irritated, but too turned on to genuinely care, Ed gave up, pressing back shamelessly against the intrusion.
They fell into some sort of less disjointed pace, and in between the way Ed’s body writhed in pleasure whether he wanted it to or not, he was struck by how easily they always seemed to make this work. One golden eye cracked open, and Ed found his gaze glued to Roy’s strangely guileless expression. It was as if the fact that Roy no longer thought Ed was watching him had let him stop pretending. He was so very intent, brows knit ever so slightly, and it spoke volumes. Ed closed his eye again, torn between nervousness and relief that Roy was apparently playing this by ear every bit as much as he was. Luckily, Roy was either stupidly good at improvising, or ridiculously lucky.
His heart raced and the world was spinning, and Ed was reasonably certain that he wouldn’t last long like this. Very reluctantly, he reminded himself of how this was not at all how he meant things to go. Automail fingers crept across the bed sheets, and oh hell, he was pretty sure he couldn’t bring himself to actually look at what he was grabbing, so he just wrapped his fingers around the first toy he came across. Even the word made him want to curl up in embarrassment, so he tried not to think it either.
Ed only looked as he very roughly shoved what he was holding at Roy, forcing his companion to take it before he chickened out completely. Well of course it was the stupid vibrating one, but Roy’s fingers were already wrapped around it, his expression thoughtfully sharp on Ed. Not about to explain that he hadn’t actually picked that out and have to relive what had already been a painfully awkward conversation the first time around, Ed couldn’t really take it back, so he flopped his head back, hoping Roy would mistake his scowl for impatience rather than pick apart the truth.
It took a moment to register that the whimper he heard had come from his own mouth as Roy gently pulled both their hands away. Without the distraction, he was a little bit terrified all over again, much as he tried to hide it. For once the way Roy always read him so infuriatingly well was a blessing, and Ed felt his body begrudgingly relax as a warm hand swept over his stomach and hips.
He wasn’t sure when it was exactly that Roy had the time or dexterity to even get the cap off the bottle, but the toy that nudged against the cleft of his ass was slick with lube. All slipperiness aside, pressing lightly against his entrance, it was already noticeably bigger than two fingers. This was why Ed had meant to be doing this alone. He was reasonably certain it was going to hurt like the dickens, he’d scream like a girl, and never want anything like that near him ever again. Only now his excuse wouldn’t be that he was clumsy and had probably just messed up so much as that Roy was a moron who had made him scream like a girl and would probably never live it down and was not coming near him like that ever again. The end.
Ed caught on to the way his mind was babbling inanely, about the same time that he also realized Roy hadn’t actually done anything. It’s like the stupid, sneaky bastard just knew what his frazzled brain was up to and was waiting for him to get all of the frantic, nervous thoughts out of his system. It would be sweet if Ed had any room to concede that sometimes Roy managed to be sweet. As it was, he just parsed it as Roy being a stupid, sneaky bastard… who was petting on him like they had all the time in the world, and looking at him with that soft look he sometimes got when it was just the two of them and he was about to say something sappy and ridiculous.
Ed squirmed impatiently, right up until Roy’s free hand found his human fingers, immediately guiding them to his mostly ignored cock. So what, now on top of every other humiliating thing that had happened, Roy wanted to watch him jerk off? Not bloody likely. Only Roy’s hand nudged him along and short circuited his brain because he was so wound up and even that slight bit of attention felt so good,that Ed could no more stop this than he could stop breathing.
He was so distracted that he forgot to tense up when Roy finally pressed forward, smoothly burying the toy inside him. It hurt, but not nearly the way he expected, the burn of slightly overextended muscle almost a pleasant sensation. Ed bit his lip, trying to work out when exactly his mind had ever got the impression that he liked any sort of pain, but the strain of it, coupled with the way his palm skimmed the underside of his cock only made him moan in a confused sort of pleasure.
“Are you alright?” Suddenly Roy’s voice was very near Ed’s ear, and he wasn’t sure how Roy had managed to get the close to him all of a sudden, but there was no mistaking that awestruck, slightly undone expression on his companion’s face as anyone who knew exactly what they were doing. Ed was suddenly very proud of how in tune they were with each other despite that.
The way Ed’s body wriggled desperately as Roy slid the toy easily in and out had very little to do with the fact that Roy was fucking him with a piece of… silicone was it? Rubber? Something that was meant to feel exactly like a real cock, and actually felt pretty much nothing like one, that his scientific mind had been too completely squelched out by embarrassment to really examine and find out what it was. More of what was crawling along his nerves had to do with the fact that it was Roy who was doing it, and suddenly his lover walking in on him like that was no longer the very worst thing that could have happened.
Roy was perhaps a bit less adept with the toy than he had been with his fingers. He shifted the angle, probably trying to hit the bundle of nerves that had had Ed nearly unraveled before. Each thrust missed, maddeningly close, which irritated and relieved Ed by turns because he wasn’t sure he could hold out even another second if Roy actually hit it.
Very distantly, Ed could hear the slide of a zipper, and the way Roy hissed through his teeth. Well that, he supposed, meant not having to figure out how to make returning the favor not awkward. The thought didn’t linger as Roy fucked him harder, and there was a very slight falter in the rhythm of it. Ed wasn’t sure what to make of until the toy was… moving, vibrating inside him and it didn’t even matter if Roy wasn’t exactly hitting the right spot when it shuddered against his insides with each thrust.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” Ed whined and shoved back against it, dizzy with sensation. Not that he was ever setting foot in that shop again, let alone admitting to the clerk that she’d been right, but it was good, overwhelmingly so. Every move Roy made, and the ragged, pleasured sounds that just barely made it to Ed’s ears only shoved him further towards the edge.
He did cry out then, but it wasn’t in agony, and he didn’t sound remotely like a girl. Ed howled as if there were nothing like coherence left in him, his hand moving frantically. Automail fingers scrabbled at the sheets, threatening to rip right through them as Ed panted and arched off the bed, coming across his belly and the front of Roy’s shirt. Boneless and out of his mind, Ed nearly missed the rest.
Roy’s eyes were still on him, or at least in his direction. They were unfocused now, dark and bottomless. Ed stared, undone and dazed and completely dazzled by Roy’s lips, parted slightly in pleasure, and the flush that spread across his pale skin. Completely undone, Ed’s body didn’t really seem inclined to move, but somehow he managed to nudge his twitching fingers into reaching out, settling almost innocently over Roy’s knuckles.
The sound he made was desperate and keening, like Ed had done something far more intimate. Ed could only watch, the part of his mind that had managed to cobble itself back together utterly entranced. Roy was stupidly pretty anyway, but like this, Ed could hardly breathe. He found himself murmuring something, though he wasn’t aware of the words, and then his fingers were warm and sticky and Roy was collapsed half on top of him.
They really ought to go take a shower. They and the sheets were a mess, and already Ed could feel the soreness of everything creeping through him. His body seemed to translate “go take a shower” as “snuggle with Roy” though, so despite the way every muscle complained, he rolled over, wedging himself against Roy’s chest, damp shirt be damned. Distantly, he felt Roy’s arm drape over the dip of his waist, clutching him like something precious, but already he was sleepy, his frazzled mind threatening to shut down entirely.
“I hope getting walked in on wasn’t too inconvenient for you,” Roy murmured, the soft cadence of his voice nearly as enticing as well placed fingers, and damn he was helpless when his lover did that. If he weren’t completely exhausted already, he might have done something about it. No, no he supposed it hadn’t been so bad after all and Ed almost said as much except… Except that bastard had known all along!
“I didn’t clock you over the head, did I? Quit fishing for compliments, you jerk,” Ed grumbled, deciding that how absolutely stunning the whole thing had turned out to be made up for that… barely.
Roy was laughing, most likely at him, but there were lips against his before he could complain too much, and nimble fingers skimming his spine. He muttered what was meant to be an insult, but it was lost in a soft, pleased sound as Roy’s tongue swiped across his lips briefly before straying entirely. Ed was already forgetting what it was he had to be irritated about, his eyes fluttering shut as Roy’s mouth traced his cheekbone.