nobluepills
I think...the loneliest aspect is being...unheard. I almost want to say misunderstood, but not only is that melodramatic, it's also unfit to describe the experience of isolation. No one to talk to, no one to comprehend. Because I can't even make excuses for myself anymore. Completely at a loss...I have no idea why I continue to wallow in these trivial, embarrassing, repetitive actions. After the hospital, things needed to change. They only got deeper, more exasperated, more confusing. I just dream of the day when this is over. The problem is--in all of my juvenile short-sightedness, I fail to envision the reality of that dream coming true. So please beg my pardon if I continue to stand on the threshold of annihilation. I really don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't think I have enough control to stop hurting myself. The only thing I have to hold onto is a faint promise of maybe...and that's really not enough.