Provocation 28 Race: Race For A Kingdom
Title: Race For A Kingdom
Author: Mir
Characters: Inu-no-Taishō, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha
Genre: Crack, AU
Warning: mention of MPREG, Yaoi
Rated: T
Warning: 750
Summary: A race to determine the heir to a kingdom
For twenty years, three days, thirteen minutes, Inu-no-Taishō ruled the Land of the West and the fact was. he was bored out of his mind. When he first took over the kingdom, he hadn't realized how tedious it would be. Now that he was older and much more wiser, Inu-no-Taishō had decided to retire.
Long had he tolerated the mumbo jumbo of politics and whining humans, when all he wanted to do was go to Hooters for a basket of spicy Buffalo wings and ogle a woman with large triple E sized breasts. With two heirs to choose from, he could finally move to Boca Raton, Florida and live the American dream. He can open his own Hooters where he could have all the chicken wings he wanted and grope the asses of all the waitresses too. The only problem was that he had to choose which of his sons he wanted to leave his kingdom to.
The boys were as different as night and day. Sesshomaru was boring, regal, and handsome whereas Inuyasha was quick to anger, grumpy, and pretty (if only he could get his son to stop wearing those sparkling pink gowns). It also helped that his hanyou son already had an heir on the way, thanks to his delinquent, perverted mate Miroku. Inu-no-Taishō knew no matter who he handed the keys of the kingdom to, there was to be a fight.
His Hooter filled dreams were about to go down the drain when a plan came to the horny, old demon's pea sized brain. Knowing exactly how his was going to decided between the bore and the whore, Inu-no-Taishō rubbed his hands together with glee. His idea was proof there was no way his sons would be about to argue with his insane logic.
"Hooters, here I come," he mumbled, before pressing the little red intercom button on his throne. "Would my two moronic sons please come to the throne room, would my two moronic sons please come to the throne room? Thank you!" he exclaimed, before stashing his porn underneath his chair. As soon as his Inu Whores Bare All magazine was hidden, Sesshomaru majestically floated inside the room as a grumpy, pregnant Inuyasha followed in the wake of his shadow.
"You called this Sesshomaru?" he asked, his voice devoid of all emotion.
"You wanted me, Pops?" a disinterested Inuyasha asked.
"Sons, I have decided to retire and open a 'Hooters' down in Florida. So this means that one of you gets to be my heir," Inu-no-Taishō said with a devious grin.
"Logically, it should be this Sesshomaru," his older son said, reminding his father of the Vulcan he saw on his bootleg copy of Star Trek.
"Yeah right, geezer, the land should be mine. After all, I am giving Pops a grand kid," the hanyou growled.
"Sons, the two of you shall settle this like adults," Inu-no-Taishō said pulling out two burlap sacks from out of nowhere. "You shall take part of the ancient tradition known as a potato sack race. First one to get to the pink finish line shall have the kingdom and life time supply of White Castle Hamburgers."
After tossing the bags over to them, the inu demon watched as his sons shoved themselves into the tiny sacks. Once they were ready, Inu-no-Taishō chuckled and exclaimed, "On your mark...get set...go!"
Without hesitation, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha began to hop with all their might towards the pink ribbon held by Inu-no-Taishō's servants, Kanna and Shippou. The hanyou, overburden by the houshi's children, decided he'd rather have a Wendy's Frosty than continue the stupid, idiotic race. Letting the sack fall to the floor, Inuyasha watched from the side lines as his brother gracefully hopped through the finish line.
Reveling in his win, the best way a wannabe Vulcan knew how, Sesshomaru was handed the keys to the Kingdom of "Can I Pimp Your Ride."
Some would later argue the legitimacy of having a potato sack race in order to decide the land's next ruler, strangely they usually ended up dead. As for Inu-no-Taishō, he opened up a "Hooters" in Florida with Inuyasha and Miroku. So while he had his fill of women, booze, and chicken wings, his son and his mate ran the business. Life was good for Inu-no-Taishō until he got a bad case of salmonella but that's another story.
For now they all lived happily every after (except for the few sexual harassment suites the waitresses brought up against Inu-no-Taishō).
THE END
Author: Mir
Characters: Inu-no-Taishō, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha
Genre: Crack, AU
Warning: mention of MPREG, Yaoi
Rated: T
Warning: 750
Summary: A race to determine the heir to a kingdom
For twenty years, three days, thirteen minutes, Inu-no-Taishō ruled the Land of the West and the fact was. he was bored out of his mind. When he first took over the kingdom, he hadn't realized how tedious it would be. Now that he was older and much more wiser, Inu-no-Taishō had decided to retire.
Long had he tolerated the mumbo jumbo of politics and whining humans, when all he wanted to do was go to Hooters for a basket of spicy Buffalo wings and ogle a woman with large triple E sized breasts. With two heirs to choose from, he could finally move to Boca Raton, Florida and live the American dream. He can open his own Hooters where he could have all the chicken wings he wanted and grope the asses of all the waitresses too. The only problem was that he had to choose which of his sons he wanted to leave his kingdom to.
The boys were as different as night and day. Sesshomaru was boring, regal, and handsome whereas Inuyasha was quick to anger, grumpy, and pretty (if only he could get his son to stop wearing those sparkling pink gowns). It also helped that his hanyou son already had an heir on the way, thanks to his delinquent, perverted mate Miroku. Inu-no-Taishō knew no matter who he handed the keys of the kingdom to, there was to be a fight.
His Hooter filled dreams were about to go down the drain when a plan came to the horny, old demon's pea sized brain. Knowing exactly how his was going to decided between the bore and the whore, Inu-no-Taishō rubbed his hands together with glee. His idea was proof there was no way his sons would be about to argue with his insane logic.
"Hooters, here I come," he mumbled, before pressing the little red intercom button on his throne. "Would my two moronic sons please come to the throne room, would my two moronic sons please come to the throne room? Thank you!" he exclaimed, before stashing his porn underneath his chair. As soon as his Inu Whores Bare All magazine was hidden, Sesshomaru majestically floated inside the room as a grumpy, pregnant Inuyasha followed in the wake of his shadow.
"You called this Sesshomaru?" he asked, his voice devoid of all emotion.
"You wanted me, Pops?" a disinterested Inuyasha asked.
"Sons, I have decided to retire and open a 'Hooters' down in Florida. So this means that one of you gets to be my heir," Inu-no-Taishō said with a devious grin.
"Logically, it should be this Sesshomaru," his older son said, reminding his father of the Vulcan he saw on his bootleg copy of Star Trek.
"Yeah right, geezer, the land should be mine. After all, I am giving Pops a grand kid," the hanyou growled.
"Sons, the two of you shall settle this like adults," Inu-no-Taishō said pulling out two burlap sacks from out of nowhere. "You shall take part of the ancient tradition known as a potato sack race. First one to get to the pink finish line shall have the kingdom and life time supply of White Castle Hamburgers."
After tossing the bags over to them, the inu demon watched as his sons shoved themselves into the tiny sacks. Once they were ready, Inu-no-Taishō chuckled and exclaimed, "On your mark...get set...go!"
Without hesitation, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha began to hop with all their might towards the pink ribbon held by Inu-no-Taishō's servants, Kanna and Shippou. The hanyou, overburden by the houshi's children, decided he'd rather have a Wendy's Frosty than continue the stupid, idiotic race. Letting the sack fall to the floor, Inuyasha watched from the side lines as his brother gracefully hopped through the finish line.
Reveling in his win, the best way a wannabe Vulcan knew how, Sesshomaru was handed the keys to the Kingdom of "Can I Pimp Your Ride."
Some would later argue the legitimacy of having a potato sack race in order to decide the land's next ruler, strangely they usually ended up dead. As for Inu-no-Taishō, he opened up a "Hooters" in Florida with Inuyasha and Miroku. So while he had his fill of women, booze, and chicken wings, his son and his mate ran the business. Life was good for Inu-no-Taishō until he got a bad case of salmonella but that's another story.
For now they all lived happily every after (except for the few sexual harassment suites the waitresses brought up against Inu-no-Taishō).
THE END