Death Is in love with me...
I feel it. Something inside of me has just snapped I don't know what it was or what it means. I have no idea I feel like talking about everything I feel like shouting to the world and crawlinig into a hole. I feel like throwing away my blade I feel like turning around my life but I don't know how. I want to be loved but who could ever love me? Once again I'm confronted with those thoughts of 'what if...' I never wanted to think like that again. I never wanted to consider anything like that again but now I'm just spinning out of control I'm just so lost people tell me to not be sad... but how the hell am I supposed to be happy? I lost my best friend and she doesn't care hell I shouldn't care but I do and I hate myself for that. I've stopped taking any meds. it's getting to be to tempting; jesus I wish I didn't have these thoughts that in my darkest hour I could just talk to someone freely like I want to so badly but what would I say... how can I put into words all my pain? how can you tell someone that you wish you were dead?