wasted time.....
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it’s been raining for weeks and i am reminded of Washington days past. my heart feels shrouded. and my thoughts. i feel like a stranger...to even myself. i'm hiding again. my emotions are falling like the water outside. i feel things heavy and weighing on the more fluent parts of my soul. knowing my next steps. inspired. yet wondering when i'll follow through. i am reminded of all the dreams i've sparked so often in myself for all these years.
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i need to be alone. i need to be feel free again. i need to get back in my groove. feel my independence. feel my beauty. feel all the amazing things that inspire me. so i don't fall back to sleep. so i don't forget who i really am.
.
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i see myself naked again. stripped of past loves. stripping myself of those who abuse me, use me, and disrespect all of my being. stripping myself from the distracting elements that keep me from my growth....i don't want to forget.
.
and you make me forget. now that makes four. and i'll run away from you like all the others. except this time i'm on to you. so my sleeping won't be long. and my sleeping won't be so long.
.
i will remember who i am again. this time is too familiar. this time i've taken my heart to a safer place. and you don't get to have me anymore. piece by piece you take, without even knowing you're taking. and you don't get anymore. i'm stronger and wiser...and my soul is real, aching, breathing, bursting, and alive with all the love, passion, and beauty that you can't seem to give. you don't get anymore. my heart is deserving of all its capacity for love...endless, divine, and eternal. you take and don't give, and you don't get to have anymore. all this magic and beauty, so blind you can't even see the gifts you have in front of you. between your hands it falls, glowing and missing the darkest depths of your heart, this light. this radiant, divine light, and you can't even see or feel or know or be. because you don't believe. because you never did. because you are the one who has forgotten. your fear that takes away so much of you. your absent and oblivious heart. you don't get to have anymore of me. you'll see.
.
.
.
.
.
it’s been raining for weeks and i am reminded of Washington days past. my heart feels shrouded. and my thoughts. i feel like a stranger...to even myself. i'm hiding again. my emotions are falling like the water outside. i feel things heavy and weighing on the more fluent parts of my soul. knowing my next steps. inspired. yet wondering when i'll follow through. i am reminded of all the dreams i've sparked so often in myself for all these years.
.
i need to be alone. i need to be feel free again. i need to get back in my groove. feel my independence. feel my beauty. feel all the amazing things that inspire me. so i don't fall back to sleep. so i don't forget who i really am.
.
.
i see myself naked again. stripped of past loves. stripping myself of those who abuse me, use me, and disrespect all of my being. stripping myself from the distracting elements that keep me from my growth....i don't want to forget.
.
and you make me forget. now that makes four. and i'll run away from you like all the others. except this time i'm on to you. so my sleeping won't be long. and my sleeping won't be so long.
.
i will remember who i am again. this time is too familiar. this time i've taken my heart to a safer place. and you don't get to have me anymore. piece by piece you take, without even knowing you're taking. and you don't get anymore. i'm stronger and wiser...and my soul is real, aching, breathing, bursting, and alive with all the love, passion, and beauty that you can't seem to give. you don't get anymore. my heart is deserving of all its capacity for love...endless, divine, and eternal. you take and don't give, and you don't get to have anymore. all this magic and beauty, so blind you can't even see the gifts you have in front of you. between your hands it falls, glowing and missing the darkest depths of your heart, this light. this radiant, divine light, and you can't even see or feel or know or be. because you don't believe. because you never did. because you are the one who has forgotten. your fear that takes away so much of you. your absent and oblivious heart. you don't get to have anymore of me. you'll see.
.
.
.