Where to begin?
So much has happened since I wrote in here last. I've moved back home to Chicago, gone back to school, ended a bad relationship, ended a bad friendship, and done a lot of growing because of it all.
I've been back in Chi-Town for almost 2 1/2 years now. I was really worried about hating it here, but it's been a lot better then I ever hoped it would be. I'm still in Grandma's old house. It's big, and kinda creepy cause it will always be Grandma's house to me. Jason originally moved back here with me, however we decided that it was time to end things and he moved back home to North Carolina. We're still really good friends, and he's coming out here to visit in two weeks. I'm really hoping that it is not awkward. He still openly has feelings for me, which wouldn't really be a problem if I had some for him. As it is though I gave him 5 years of chances and he didn't take me seriously. He treated me like his mom, not his girlfriend. We didn't even kiss for the last three years. So, no. Right now I have nothing left to give him.
Shortly after he left I started to date one of the regular customers at my store. This was a mistake. He is extremely Christian and I am not. He isn't ready for any sort of relationship which he failed to mention until we had already begun one. He initiated things and set the pace and then panicked and decided we needed to "take a step back." We did. We became "friends" and continued to hang out for a few months. He was a really bad friend, and the longer I was friends with him the more it became apparent. So after he blew me off I got angry with him. Real friends can get into a fight. I figured that he would realize he was a dick. But no. We are no longer friends because I refused to be the only one putting in effort anymore. Last night we decided that it wasn't worth bothering with anymore. It hurt really bad at first, but really him not being around is not going to effect my life in anyway. We weren't close and it's not like we hung out all the time. So while it still kinda stings I realize that he is a douche and that he never treated me right. So I actually feel a little better now that I don't have to worry about him anymore.
Now I can focus on shit that actually matters in the long run, like school. I am in the finals week crunch time of my first semester back. It's been frustrating and a lot of work, but I'm doing really well. I decided to major in English for my undergrad then go back for a masters in library sciences. I'm excited. I have a goal. I'm doing something with my life, and I'm meeting people who can look at the world the same way I do. I haven't really made any friends at school yet, but I'm shy in real life, and hard to get to know. I am getting to know people though and I'm hopeful that a few of them will probably end up being people that I can be friends with.
I've been back in Chi-Town for almost 2 1/2 years now. I was really worried about hating it here, but it's been a lot better then I ever hoped it would be. I'm still in Grandma's old house. It's big, and kinda creepy cause it will always be Grandma's house to me. Jason originally moved back here with me, however we decided that it was time to end things and he moved back home to North Carolina. We're still really good friends, and he's coming out here to visit in two weeks. I'm really hoping that it is not awkward. He still openly has feelings for me, which wouldn't really be a problem if I had some for him. As it is though I gave him 5 years of chances and he didn't take me seriously. He treated me like his mom, not his girlfriend. We didn't even kiss for the last three years. So, no. Right now I have nothing left to give him.
Shortly after he left I started to date one of the regular customers at my store. This was a mistake. He is extremely Christian and I am not. He isn't ready for any sort of relationship which he failed to mention until we had already begun one. He initiated things and set the pace and then panicked and decided we needed to "take a step back." We did. We became "friends" and continued to hang out for a few months. He was a really bad friend, and the longer I was friends with him the more it became apparent. So after he blew me off I got angry with him. Real friends can get into a fight. I figured that he would realize he was a dick. But no. We are no longer friends because I refused to be the only one putting in effort anymore. Last night we decided that it wasn't worth bothering with anymore. It hurt really bad at first, but really him not being around is not going to effect my life in anyway. We weren't close and it's not like we hung out all the time. So while it still kinda stings I realize that he is a douche and that he never treated me right. So I actually feel a little better now that I don't have to worry about him anymore.
Now I can focus on shit that actually matters in the long run, like school. I am in the finals week crunch time of my first semester back. It's been frustrating and a lot of work, but I'm doing really well. I decided to major in English for my undergrad then go back for a masters in library sciences. I'm excited. I have a goal. I'm doing something with my life, and I'm meeting people who can look at the world the same way I do. I haven't really made any friends at school yet, but I'm shy in real life, and hard to get to know. I am getting to know people though and I'm hopeful that a few of them will probably end up being people that I can be friends with.