blood brothers.
if youve ever seen the l word, you may remember alices chart. its the drama. it really is.
imagine you and i just met. we're sitting in the car. "do you want to make out?"
start with me, jon, at the bottom. work to the left. thats ryan. i met him when i was a sophomore and we dated for 2 and a half years on and off. we broke up in may of 06, a week after we broke up ryan started dating caleb. i went to ireland. when i returned ryan was in europe. i met alex in july and we dated for about a month. in fall i dated a boy named zak for 2 and a half months. ryan and caleb broke up sometime around then. ryan and i went to a movie, marie antionette, and soon after that i broke up with zak and ryan broke up with caleb. ryan and i kept hanging out until i confessed i still loved him. then i met a guy named barry(not on the chart) and ryan met a guy named matt. those relationships didnt last very long and in february, i hung out with ryan. we kissed. he told me he loved me and would always love me. he asked me to come spend the night the next night. i did. then after realizing "how much he was risking" and that he still might have feelings for caleb. caleb, who was at the current time dating bo for three months, and they waited to have sex for three months and caleb stopped talking to bo right after they had sex. after that ryan realizes it is caleb who he wants, throws himself at him, which works for a day, and then caleb realized he can't be with ryan. ryan would later tell me this was "karma for what he did to me." i started talking to alex again who was dating pat at the time, and we kissed even though i knew he had a boyfriend, which i regret but they were breaking up anyway. later i went on three dates with a guy named john, and on my fourth date with john, lauren (who could totally be put on this chart) introduced me to bo. i hung out with bo twice more and we ended up kissing and we dated for a few months. after dating bo i met a 30 year old guy online and had meaningless sex with him. we were "friends with benifits" only we werent friends at all. i knew his name, that's about it. after that i felt totally depressed and i knew i didnt want a relationship based off sex and that sex outside a relationship was nothing to me. i dated another ryan, we'll call him ryan 2. for a week and a half, found out we were incompatible.
a few weeks later (last night) ryan and i met again. i knew exactly what was going to happen and it did. i went over there. he apologized for everything and was so nice to me. i tell him i really want to be with him, i really think things could work. he tells me he doesnt feel the same way. i drive home crying and screaming.
when i look at one relationship i see the relationship with that person and it seems like it makes sense.
when i look at the picture and the story above i feel dirty. if i were reading this story about someone else i would assume they have low self esteem and nned men to make them feel validated and worthy.
imagine you and i just met. we're sitting in the car. "do you want to make out?"
start with me, jon, at the bottom. work to the left. thats ryan. i met him when i was a sophomore and we dated for 2 and a half years on and off. we broke up in may of 06, a week after we broke up ryan started dating caleb. i went to ireland. when i returned ryan was in europe. i met alex in july and we dated for about a month. in fall i dated a boy named zak for 2 and a half months. ryan and caleb broke up sometime around then. ryan and i went to a movie, marie antionette, and soon after that i broke up with zak and ryan broke up with caleb. ryan and i kept hanging out until i confessed i still loved him. then i met a guy named barry(not on the chart) and ryan met a guy named matt. those relationships didnt last very long and in february, i hung out with ryan. we kissed. he told me he loved me and would always love me. he asked me to come spend the night the next night. i did. then after realizing "how much he was risking" and that he still might have feelings for caleb. caleb, who was at the current time dating bo for three months, and they waited to have sex for three months and caleb stopped talking to bo right after they had sex. after that ryan realizes it is caleb who he wants, throws himself at him, which works for a day, and then caleb realized he can't be with ryan. ryan would later tell me this was "karma for what he did to me." i started talking to alex again who was dating pat at the time, and we kissed even though i knew he had a boyfriend, which i regret but they were breaking up anyway. later i went on three dates with a guy named john, and on my fourth date with john, lauren (who could totally be put on this chart) introduced me to bo. i hung out with bo twice more and we ended up kissing and we dated for a few months. after dating bo i met a 30 year old guy online and had meaningless sex with him. we were "friends with benifits" only we werent friends at all. i knew his name, that's about it. after that i felt totally depressed and i knew i didnt want a relationship based off sex and that sex outside a relationship was nothing to me. i dated another ryan, we'll call him ryan 2. for a week and a half, found out we were incompatible.
a few weeks later (last night) ryan and i met again. i knew exactly what was going to happen and it did. i went over there. he apologized for everything and was so nice to me. i tell him i really want to be with him, i really think things could work. he tells me he doesnt feel the same way. i drive home crying and screaming.
when i look at one relationship i see the relationship with that person and it seems like it makes sense.
when i look at the picture and the story above i feel dirty. if i were reading this story about someone else i would assume they have low self esteem and nned men to make them feel validated and worthy.