(no subject)
i'm feeling better. i just have bad days sometimes. i hate the world we live in. i hate the system and the society and the standards. but sometimes i focus so much on that that i forget that everyone else has to deal with it too. i just want to change the world, maybe i could a little. maybe we all could a lot.
i need to remember not to focus on things i cant control. and try to better my life in some way.
i have 3 options i have decided on for my future.
option one - go to school at the art institute or take classes online.
pro - if i take online classes i can still keep the same hours at my job and get an apartment. i can use those credits to go somewhere else and mybe by then i will know what i want to major in.
con - i dont know if anyone would move out with me, and i dont make enough to get my own apartment. also, i'm still really upset about ryan and i think it would be easier to get over him if i
option 2 - move to portland and go to school.
pro- their school offers a lot of the majors i'm intersted in. portland has a big activist/music/zine/art scene. i wouldnt be stuck in indiana for my whole life. i could sell my car.
con- i would have to find a job. i would have to meet all new people. i wouldn't have a support system.
it's a big decision to make. if i decide to stay here, i could always change my mind and move to portland later.
i guess one of my biggest fears is that i'm just not college material.
i dont want to say i'm dumb, but i'm not smart. there are things im intersted in and have a depth of knowledge in but most school subjects i am really dumb at. i have a short attention span, i don't memorize things i dont care about well.
i need to remember not to focus on things i cant control. and try to better my life in some way.
i have 3 options i have decided on for my future.
option one - go to school at the art institute or take classes online.
pro - if i take online classes i can still keep the same hours at my job and get an apartment. i can use those credits to go somewhere else and mybe by then i will know what i want to major in.
con - i dont know if anyone would move out with me, and i dont make enough to get my own apartment. also, i'm still really upset about ryan and i think it would be easier to get over him if i
option 2 - move to portland and go to school.
pro- their school offers a lot of the majors i'm intersted in. portland has a big activist/music/zine/art scene. i wouldnt be stuck in indiana for my whole life. i could sell my car.
con- i would have to find a job. i would have to meet all new people. i wouldn't have a support system.
it's a big decision to make. if i decide to stay here, i could always change my mind and move to portland later.
i guess one of my biggest fears is that i'm just not college material.
i dont want to say i'm dumb, but i'm not smart. there are things im intersted in and have a depth of knowledge in but most school subjects i am really dumb at. i have a short attention span, i don't memorize things i dont care about well.