I HAVE TO PEE REAL BAD
I need a break.
I need a vacation.
I need a cigarette, and i just smoked my last one.
i have no money, i am completely broke. all those weekend trips to crawfordsville put my bank account at negative 250.
i hate school, and i always have. everyone told me "college isnt for everyone" and i thought i had to prove them wrong and really im just making an ass out of myself.
right now i'm planning. making a plan to get out of school. i know i should finish this semester, but i feel like it's going to kill me. moreso, i just feel like its pointeless and i cant decide what i really want to do so why not just work right now because i have to work anyway. i'm so tired. i have no free time, and the free time i do have is spent either getting intoxicated and trying to forget about all the stupid shit i have to do... or driving. to crawforsdville to see my boyfriend. i have such a good time with him and then i come to indy to work and go to school.
i've thought of running away and becoming a junkie whore.
it's just a thought, and i would never do it, but i would be so much happier doing that than what i'm doing now.
but i thought i would be happier in college. and i'm not.
i thought i would be happier when i took a year off, and i wasnt.
i'm beginning to think its just me, and if its just the way that i am, why set any goals for myself if reaching them will only give me a new goal, a new reason why my life sucks. i think in order for me to have the slightest idea with what i want to do for the rest of my life i need to know what truly makes me happy. and unfortunately going to crawfordsville and seeing zak is not a career choice.
next week, i am hopefully getting a car and a new job.
YAAAAAAAAAAY
then i'll really be happy.
then everything will be perfect.
then my life can begin!
then i'll find something else to bitch about and feel like shit again, i can't wait!
I need a vacation.
I need a cigarette, and i just smoked my last one.
i have no money, i am completely broke. all those weekend trips to crawfordsville put my bank account at negative 250.
i hate school, and i always have. everyone told me "college isnt for everyone" and i thought i had to prove them wrong and really im just making an ass out of myself.
right now i'm planning. making a plan to get out of school. i know i should finish this semester, but i feel like it's going to kill me. moreso, i just feel like its pointeless and i cant decide what i really want to do so why not just work right now because i have to work anyway. i'm so tired. i have no free time, and the free time i do have is spent either getting intoxicated and trying to forget about all the stupid shit i have to do... or driving. to crawforsdville to see my boyfriend. i have such a good time with him and then i come to indy to work and go to school.
i've thought of running away and becoming a junkie whore.
it's just a thought, and i would never do it, but i would be so much happier doing that than what i'm doing now.
but i thought i would be happier in college. and i'm not.
i thought i would be happier when i took a year off, and i wasnt.
i'm beginning to think its just me, and if its just the way that i am, why set any goals for myself if reaching them will only give me a new goal, a new reason why my life sucks. i think in order for me to have the slightest idea with what i want to do for the rest of my life i need to know what truly makes me happy. and unfortunately going to crawfordsville and seeing zak is not a career choice.
next week, i am hopefully getting a car and a new job.
YAAAAAAAAAAY
then i'll really be happy.
then everything will be perfect.
then my life can begin!
then i'll find something else to bitch about and feel like shit again, i can't wait!