And in other news -
*I totally quit Tax Season. Hubby is leaving for work every morning around 7:15 and not getting back until past midnight. I seriously do not understand how his brain is not just broken. He does these thousand page returns with color coded spreadsheets and flowcharts to explain them all. It's all so complicated. You know what I did today? Dropped Moo off at school, made some grilled cheese sandwiches, wrote about a wine tasting, spent 3 hours either trying to get Izzy down for a nap, or trying to keep him asleep, then I shlepped Moo around some more and got a milk shake. I feel so simple. The thing is, I couldn't handle much more. I'm at work right now and when I get home I have way more house work to do. I guess my husband does more brain work, I do the heart and hand work.
*There is some sort of sinoidial ridiculousness persisting in my house. Izzy has a chronic case of Faucet Face, though it doesn't seem to bother him. I, however, feel like my eyes are going to pop out of my head and my teeth itch, my throat feels like I've been swallowing Brillo. I was really surprised that I did not have a fever of about a million degrees this afternoon. That milkshake was like the single greatest thing to happen to me all day. It was so cold and soothing. It really should have been covered by health insurance.
*I feel like I'm going through another phase with Izzy; I feel distance from him. I mean, I like him well enough, he's sweet and cute, but my heart doesn't leap when I look at him the way it does with Moo, or looking at pictures of Shiny. When Moo holds my hand, I feel the emotional equivalent of glitter. With Izzy, I'm looking for it, but it's not there. I'm trying really hard, because I don't want him to know. It would break my heart if he grew up feeling less loved, he doesn't deserve it. I kiss him a lot, tell him I love him, talk to him, hold him, wear him, cosleep, nurse when he wants...I'm just missing the spark. It's like he's a newborn all over again. It's so sad because I thought I was over this, and I was SO HAPPY when I thought I was over it. I don't really know what to do, if there is anything at all to do about it.
*My MIL told us she wants to get Moo a handheld learning system for his birthday. After much discussion, Hubby and I decided to ask her not to. Yes, they are educational and exciting, but so is imaginative play, and he has so little time for that. I don't want to fill it with a device that impedes creative thinking. He already has therapy three days a week and very slimly measured time to just be a kid. Yes, they are great for long car rides, but we don't have a car and everywhere we go on a routine basis is within ten minutes of our house. Whenever we go places on the bus, he just likes to look out the window. I don't know if he's observing or imagining, but I don't want him to be compelled to do otherwise. I want him to spend his few unscheduled hours creatively, not glued to a device.
*Did I mention I'm blogging for Koshertopia now? Check me out!