Uh, I'll be 24 this year...
I've had this account since I was a jounior in High school. I remember everyday after school I would come and read all the lovely updates and see how everyone was doing. Then Myspace hit, and everyone including myself jumped on the bandwagon. I tryed to keep the 2 updated as much as possiable. Well then my computer broke, and then I wasn't connected with anyone. I missed out on lots of stuff, including myself. I look back in my own journal and wonder who the fuck I was. And wish I could have kept on writing, even though I really don't have anything intrestesting to day.
So after high school I started working at Blockbuster, and was then introduced to a guy a dated for 3 years. Which by the looks of it, was a really bad idea. I mean to young to just jump in, I shouldve played around a bit. But I was inlove, and out of love, and then in love. I then left Blockbuster and went to work for a casino. Which is were I currently still work. My life has been pretty much just a tree. Season after season, I'm still the same. We have been over for awhile now, and even thought we kept going back to each other just to see if it would work out. It won't. I don't even know who I've become with him by myside? I've gotten so big in size and I'm more emoutional then I thought I would be. I felt like he is my safty net and that he's it for me. But I'm not gonna lie to myself and think that he's the one, cause that's just STUPID!
At the casino, I am now a Bartender. I'm no good at making drinks, if anything I'm scared most of the time I'm there because what if someone asks me for something that is uber hard and I'm just blank? Uh, I've met a couple of guys, but same ol same ol...they just dont click, they have a girlfriend or uh we've made out while we were drunk and he realized the mistake the next day and didn't wanna talk anymore. Some of this has really dammpered my sprits and makes me wanna go runnning back to my safty net. But I'm trying so hard to be strong, because I want to break free. Because with him, I don't know me. After while it was like groundhogs day, same old shit different day. Excitment is what I want, what I need. it's what keeps me alive and i've realized that I'm the only person who can do that for myself.
I started smoking awhile back, and have since quit. I have asthma and as much as a cig chills me out. I can't do it. I've started exersizing and trying to replenshes myself, make my body move. Get better.
Live isn't over. I'm growing up....
So after high school I started working at Blockbuster, and was then introduced to a guy a dated for 3 years. Which by the looks of it, was a really bad idea. I mean to young to just jump in, I shouldve played around a bit. But I was inlove, and out of love, and then in love. I then left Blockbuster and went to work for a casino. Which is were I currently still work. My life has been pretty much just a tree. Season after season, I'm still the same. We have been over for awhile now, and even thought we kept going back to each other just to see if it would work out. It won't. I don't even know who I've become with him by myside? I've gotten so big in size and I'm more emoutional then I thought I would be. I felt like he is my safty net and that he's it for me. But I'm not gonna lie to myself and think that he's the one, cause that's just STUPID!
At the casino, I am now a Bartender. I'm no good at making drinks, if anything I'm scared most of the time I'm there because what if someone asks me for something that is uber hard and I'm just blank? Uh, I've met a couple of guys, but same ol same ol...they just dont click, they have a girlfriend or uh we've made out while we were drunk and he realized the mistake the next day and didn't wanna talk anymore. Some of this has really dammpered my sprits and makes me wanna go runnning back to my safty net. But I'm trying so hard to be strong, because I want to break free. Because with him, I don't know me. After while it was like groundhogs day, same old shit different day. Excitment is what I want, what I need. it's what keeps me alive and i've realized that I'm the only person who can do that for myself.
I started smoking awhile back, and have since quit. I have asthma and as much as a cig chills me out. I can't do it. I've started exersizing and trying to replenshes myself, make my body move. Get better.
Live isn't over. I'm growing up....