Don't deconstruct, then fill me in. I'm not that basic, I swear.
Soooo... that was a weird episode. Can we just say that? It made me feel weird. I think the plots explored some stuff that was sensible to have come up, such as what Paul was going to do with Mellie, knowing what he knew about her being a Doll. Also the whole idea of people using the Dollhouse to perpetuate their consciousness after death- I didn't consciously predict that, but it is a predictable conclusion.
Much of it was deeply uncomfortable, though. It's rather naive to think that people will say only good things about you after you're too far gone to come back to life, and to see Margaret feel the harsh reality of that is rather difficult. Even more difficult was to see Paul give up something of himself and rape Mellie.
But before I talk about that part of squick, let's go back to themes of this episode. We start out with a good deal of optimisim in this episode. Margaret's plans to attend her funeral and see all the wonderful things people say about her start off on a good path, Paul is easily able to obtain Mellie's fingerprints to go identify her and rush off to save the real sleeping girl inside, and Topher yanks out the hard drive with the best friend he created for what is probably his birthday bash. We have dreams, we have people taking steps to live their lives in more wholesome, honest relationships with others. Good things!
And then things fall apart. The center cannot hold. The falcon... wait, dammit, how'd that falcon get in here?
Margaret starts hearing what people really thought of her, and it isn't what she expected. Where she thought she was loving, open, and encouraging, they all saw her as cold, guarded, and pushy. When Paul investigates, he finds that his sweet Mellie is actually a criminal and involved in many, many criminal acts; he also discovers that somebody much higher up in the FBI than he ever was is protecting and hiding the Dollhouse.
Topher's still having fun. Topher gets to have this sort of close human experience.... one time a year.
So Paul goes back to Mellie, knowing that every one of his moves is completely blocked and both of the women he loves are so damaged and disappeared that being the hero and saving them is a romantic, utterly ridiculous concept. And if the hero has no way of being a hero, maybe there's no way to act like a heroic man. When Mellie tells him that she doesn't need him to give anything of himself as long as he takes her (a Dollhouse philosphy if I ever heard one) he does so. He consciously has sex with a woman he doesn't know, that has not given her consent, because she is under the influence of something that has stolen her identity. I don't care if it's a roofie, beating someone black and blue, or merely telling them they'll never get laid by anybody else- this is rape.
This scene is rather a tragic scene, and it's lit and staged in that way. The way that Paul holds her down against the wall and then on the bed shows entrapment: something that they're both facing in this situation, but also something they're both embracing in despair. The reason I find it tragic is because it's a twisting of everything that's SUPPOSED to be in a loving scene in their relationship. Yes, he is supposed to be confident and sure as he steps ahead in this sexually symbolic part of their relationship. Yes, as a confident and strong woman, she is supposed to be able to have enough voice that she can decide to lay down her control and allow him to have power over her, out of her trust for him and herself. But that isn't how it's working here. He's taking control out of fear and despair, and she's giving up control out of the pervasive and repeated silencing of her voice and choice by the Dollhouse.
I find the twisting of something good far more disturbing and grotesque than outright badness.
Margaret's tragedy is the betrayal by her husband, who doesn't care for what she valued most and wants to sell her horses, and she even thinks he murdered her when he comes after her, and then the final betrayal by her son, who tries to murder her a second time. Even after learning of the more complex family dynamic, she still decides to trust all of them again, and what is the reward for trusting the people you love? The threat of violent death. That's pretty twisted, too. That's relationship, which is supposed to be the most wholesome thing of human existence, turned into something horrible and damaging.
Topher's best friend is someone he programmed. In a computer. To play laser tag with him.
Nothing ends on a very good note. Margaret leaves as her family moves on without her, and though some things are patched, it's not going to be right. Her note isn't going to prove to her husband that she loved him more than anything, her daughter has internalized enough of the dismissal of her photography to never be secure in it, and her son is going to jail. No matter how much she came back to correct things and ensure they were running smoothly, it will not fix the life she's led and the impressions she's given others.
In a perfect mise-en-scene, Paul concludes his story in the shower, showing how dirty he feels about what he did and, more importantly, who he became. Even if Mellie is still protesting that it was okay, the person that HE is, is not. Is he excused for feeling bad about letting his emotions and sex drive get the better of him? HELL NO. Paul took a step in what he did, and that is going to stick with him. It reminds me of the last episode of United States of Tara, where Trip Johanson is saying that he feels bad for raping Tara years ago to the point where he loses sleep. And Tara's husband, Max, (who I love. By the way.) leaps up and says, "YOU can't catch a nap, and I'm supposed to feel bad for you? My wife's entire personality has been SHATTERED into a bunch of people she can't control and YOU can't sleep?" and he's right.
Margaret gives up the shadow of life she had. Topher allows his friend to go back into the hard drive for another year. And Paul looks back with regret to say goodby to the honorable man he used to be. "Aren't you going to keep searching for Dollhouse clients?" "No. I found one."
As for the previews for next week: ALAN TUDYK *GLEE*!!!111!!!
I do look forward to seeing Paul get into the Dollhouse. Yet, I have this crazy idea because of some of the editing done in the preview, where it showed Paul and then it showed Dr. Saunders saying "Alpha?" that maybe, in some weird way, Paul = Alpha. Face it, what do we really really know about Paul? Before the show started, we don't know anything of his childhood, no visits from people in his past, photographs... maybe Paul Ballard doesn't exist, either. Maybe Alpha took what technology and personalities he could find and made himself into a person useful and undamaged enough to take down the Dollhouse. Alpha has a fixation with Echo, and Paul has a fixation on Caroline. Maybe there's a partnership there that is buried, along iwth some software that Alpha is using to send messages ot Paul?
I know it's a little crazy. THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT THE LITTLE CRAZY, OKAY?
Much of it was deeply uncomfortable, though. It's rather naive to think that people will say only good things about you after you're too far gone to come back to life, and to see Margaret feel the harsh reality of that is rather difficult. Even more difficult was to see Paul give up something of himself and rape Mellie.
But before I talk about that part of squick, let's go back to themes of this episode. We start out with a good deal of optimisim in this episode. Margaret's plans to attend her funeral and see all the wonderful things people say about her start off on a good path, Paul is easily able to obtain Mellie's fingerprints to go identify her and rush off to save the real sleeping girl inside, and Topher yanks out the hard drive with the best friend he created for what is probably his birthday bash. We have dreams, we have people taking steps to live their lives in more wholesome, honest relationships with others. Good things!
And then things fall apart. The center cannot hold. The falcon... wait, dammit, how'd that falcon get in here?
Margaret starts hearing what people really thought of her, and it isn't what she expected. Where she thought she was loving, open, and encouraging, they all saw her as cold, guarded, and pushy. When Paul investigates, he finds that his sweet Mellie is actually a criminal and involved in many, many criminal acts; he also discovers that somebody much higher up in the FBI than he ever was is protecting and hiding the Dollhouse.
Topher's still having fun. Topher gets to have this sort of close human experience.... one time a year.
So Paul goes back to Mellie, knowing that every one of his moves is completely blocked and both of the women he loves are so damaged and disappeared that being the hero and saving them is a romantic, utterly ridiculous concept. And if the hero has no way of being a hero, maybe there's no way to act like a heroic man. When Mellie tells him that she doesn't need him to give anything of himself as long as he takes her (a Dollhouse philosphy if I ever heard one) he does so. He consciously has sex with a woman he doesn't know, that has not given her consent, because she is under the influence of something that has stolen her identity. I don't care if it's a roofie, beating someone black and blue, or merely telling them they'll never get laid by anybody else- this is rape.
This scene is rather a tragic scene, and it's lit and staged in that way. The way that Paul holds her down against the wall and then on the bed shows entrapment: something that they're both facing in this situation, but also something they're both embracing in despair. The reason I find it tragic is because it's a twisting of everything that's SUPPOSED to be in a loving scene in their relationship. Yes, he is supposed to be confident and sure as he steps ahead in this sexually symbolic part of their relationship. Yes, as a confident and strong woman, she is supposed to be able to have enough voice that she can decide to lay down her control and allow him to have power over her, out of her trust for him and herself. But that isn't how it's working here. He's taking control out of fear and despair, and she's giving up control out of the pervasive and repeated silencing of her voice and choice by the Dollhouse.
I find the twisting of something good far more disturbing and grotesque than outright badness.
Margaret's tragedy is the betrayal by her husband, who doesn't care for what she valued most and wants to sell her horses, and she even thinks he murdered her when he comes after her, and then the final betrayal by her son, who tries to murder her a second time. Even after learning of the more complex family dynamic, she still decides to trust all of them again, and what is the reward for trusting the people you love? The threat of violent death. That's pretty twisted, too. That's relationship, which is supposed to be the most wholesome thing of human existence, turned into something horrible and damaging.
Topher's best friend is someone he programmed. In a computer. To play laser tag with him.
Nothing ends on a very good note. Margaret leaves as her family moves on without her, and though some things are patched, it's not going to be right. Her note isn't going to prove to her husband that she loved him more than anything, her daughter has internalized enough of the dismissal of her photography to never be secure in it, and her son is going to jail. No matter how much she came back to correct things and ensure they were running smoothly, it will not fix the life she's led and the impressions she's given others.
In a perfect mise-en-scene, Paul concludes his story in the shower, showing how dirty he feels about what he did and, more importantly, who he became. Even if Mellie is still protesting that it was okay, the person that HE is, is not. Is he excused for feeling bad about letting his emotions and sex drive get the better of him? HELL NO. Paul took a step in what he did, and that is going to stick with him. It reminds me of the last episode of United States of Tara, where Trip Johanson is saying that he feels bad for raping Tara years ago to the point where he loses sleep. And Tara's husband, Max, (who I love. By the way.) leaps up and says, "YOU can't catch a nap, and I'm supposed to feel bad for you? My wife's entire personality has been SHATTERED into a bunch of people she can't control and YOU can't sleep?" and he's right.
Margaret gives up the shadow of life she had. Topher allows his friend to go back into the hard drive for another year. And Paul looks back with regret to say goodby to the honorable man he used to be. "Aren't you going to keep searching for Dollhouse clients?" "No. I found one."
As for the previews for next week: ALAN TUDYK *GLEE*!!!111!!!
I do look forward to seeing Paul get into the Dollhouse. Yet, I have this crazy idea because of some of the editing done in the preview, where it showed Paul and then it showed Dr. Saunders saying "Alpha?" that maybe, in some weird way, Paul = Alpha. Face it, what do we really really know about Paul? Before the show started, we don't know anything of his childhood, no visits from people in his past, photographs... maybe Paul Ballard doesn't exist, either. Maybe Alpha took what technology and personalities he could find and made himself into a person useful and undamaged enough to take down the Dollhouse. Alpha has a fixation with Echo, and Paul has a fixation on Caroline. Maybe there's a partnership there that is buried, along iwth some software that Alpha is using to send messages ot Paul?
I know it's a little crazy. THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT THE LITTLE CRAZY, OKAY?