Bury me in memories
I got a little sappy when I got home today and saw the same picture I see everyday.
The sunshine is playing in our hair, enhancing your golden tones and my blonder ones. Smiles play across our faces and both of you cuddle closer to me. The porch swing we're sitting on swings a little since I can only reach the deck with my toes and for a second I slip and you giggle. That's the moment the picture is taken.
A year later and I can still feel your warmth were you pressed your little frame close to mine. The weight of you on my lap, tapping a beat on my knee. I miss you. You're both bigger now and don't remember all the wonderful days we spent together. The day we went to the zoo and petted the llamas, the day we went swimming by the lake and the day you pushed me into the pool and laughed so hard you fell in after. It's better that you don't remember because I couldn't stand knowing that your heart hurts like mine do from missing you.
I never knew that you could miss someone this much. You would think that in time the feeling would lessen but it doesn't. I miss you as much as I did when I left last summer. In a way I don't want it to lessen, not if it means that I will loose the memories we made together. I want to cherish them until the day I die. You made me to who I am today, taught me what it is to love someone unconditionally and prepared me for motherhood.
Looking at new pictures of you is bittersweet. Bitter since I can't be there and share the moment with you and sweet because of your smiles and your apparent joy. I'm happy you are happy.
This is for you, B & R.
I love you.
Forever and always.
.