De Fortuna: 25 I Do Not Want This - R
Title: I Do Not Want This, De Fortuna Chapter 25
Rating: ridiculously high
Word Count: 3593
Disclaimer: Disney, Square Enix, and Nomura own the Kingdom Hearts stuff. The Trigun stuff is Yasahiro Nightow and Dark Horse. See full disclaimer in my profile.
Summary: Axel and Roxas; Naminé and Demyx. Bad things will happen.
Warnings: This is a realistic rather than eroticized portrayal of sexual assault. A lot of weird moral issues are explored in terms of how different people feel about what is, essentially acquaintance rape. In both instances, one person uses some advantage they have over another person to get that person to have sex with them. There is, of course, some violence and then the unpleasant emotional aftermath. I don't like this chapter. It was hard to write and I am sorry if, for the same reasons, it is difficult to read.
“Hey! Wait! Roxas!” Axel was rushing after the kid. “I’m sorry!”
“Yeah,” Roxas stopped. “And what exactly are you sorry for?”
“Everything?” Axel said, scratching his head. Roxas looked at him and turned back around and kept walking. Axel just followed, exactly like the stalker Roxas had accused him of being. He didn’t try to defend himself, knew already that when Roxas gave the silent treatment he expected silence back.
But Roxas didn’t try to get rid of him even as he stepped into the dorm elevator with him. Even when he pushed his way into Roxas’ room.
“I just want an answer to my question,” Roxas told him.
“I just want you to fuck me,” Axel said in exactly the same tone.
“Are you mocking me?” Roxas asked, his glare was set on kill, not stun. “Because that would be a bad idea.”
“Ha!” Axel barked out. “No, that’s the reason.”
“What?”
“What?”
“You want me to fuck you,” Roxas repeated. “That’s why you didn’t kill me.”
“Yeah,” Axel repeated.
“I know you’re stupid and functionally illiterate, but you do know the difference between past and present tense right?” Roxas asked.
“On good days,” Axel replied cheekily.
Then they stared at each other.
“I was serious,” Axel said. “Maybe it’s all mushy bullshit, but at the time I was so attached to you and so hard up for you, that I couldn’t do it. Or something. Don’t read much into it, I’m still a heartless bastard.”
“The hell you are,” Roxas agreed. And then he was up and he was kissing Axel really, really hard, just slamming his lips, with the teeth and jaws and face attached to them, against Axel’s.
“Whoa,” Axel shoved him away. “You don’t have to.”
Roxas didn’t say anything, but he grabbed Axel by the hair and wrenched his head back down to his level. This time he used tongue. Axel purred and he tried to wrap his arms around Roxas’ body and enjoy this. So that’s when Roxas pulled away.
“I don’t want you to touch me,” he said.
“What? Why?” Axel looked a little bit dumbstruck and a little bit awestruck. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and it still didn’t get rid of the feeling or taste of Roxas.
“Because I’m not gay,” Roxas told him. Axel laughed.
“You know I did hear that little bit before when you were yelling about how I ruined your life or something,” Axel said.
“I’m serious,” Roxas said. “I’m not gay.”
“Dude,” Axel tried to reason with him. “You’ve got a closet. Full. Of picture of me. You are G-A-Y, got it memorized?”
“Shut up,” Roxas said, giving him this “I am tired of your silly stupid talking, you irritate me with your idiocy” look that he was used to getting. Then he shoved him, hard and he went stuttering backwards till the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and then he just fell backwards.
Roxas, as it turned out, owned a pair of handcuffs.
***
“Come on, Naminé, don’t be mean,” Demyx was holding her by the wrists.
She kept turning her face away so that he couldn’t kiss her. He had been begging for a good long while.
“I want it to be good for you too,” he whined.
Her mind was running to parallel tracks of “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t fucking touch me” and “Stop, no, stop, no, stop, no” but she hadn’t ever actually said anything.
“Please?” he asked, kissing her cheek. His whole body was pressed against her in the tiny, tiny space of his car. They were in public, she didn’t know why no one was stopping him.
“Please,” he said. “I just want a kiss.” But she knew he was lying, because she could feel him.
She turned to look at him and opened her mouth to speak. He dove for the opening, his tongue in her mouth. She tried to bite him.
“Ouch!” he pulled back. “You little-Sorry, that was uncalled for. But you did bite me. That wasn’t very nice, Naminé.”
“You know,” he said. “I really am in love with you.”
Naminé whimpered.
***
“Roxas?” Axel asked. He craned his head as far around as he could and he still couldn’t see him.
“This isn’t like that thing where the really hot chick offers the guy a blowjob and then handcuffs him to a pole in an alley, is it?”
“Do I look like a really hot chick to you?” Roxas asked, stepping into Axel’s field of vision. He was naked. And hard. Axel flushed because he could actually feel his pupils getting blown.
“You don’t want me to answer that,” Axel leered. Roxas snarled at him and rolled his eyes.
The problem Roxas saw was that he’d handcuffed Axel to the bed in a struggle more than foreplay, so Axel’s clothes were all still on. Axel was kneeling and bent over on the bed, his wide hips and appropriately large ass up in the air and his oversized white shirt sliding down to show his pale, mostly flawless back and tight, skinny stomach and ribs.
But Roxas was totally naked and he wanted Axel to be totally naked. He thought about it hard, but maybe not too hard because he was pretty busy masturbating to keep hard himself.
“You know,” he said. “Naminé and I never do it in this position.”
Axel laughed because he knew why, but said, “And I need to know this, why?”
“You didn’t,” Roxas said. “I’m just letting you know so you can feel special.” He didn’t say it in a very “I think you’re special” kind of way. Axel heard something he was pretty sure was a pair of scissors opening and closing a few times.
“Uhm,” he said. “Roxas?” And then Roxas was pulling his shirt back up over his body and cutting up the back.
“Whoa!” Axel said. “You know if you uncuffed me, I could just take it off.”
“Don’t want to,” Roxas said.
“This is kind of fucked up, Roxas,” Axel told him.
“You’re kind of fucked up.”
“You ever going to say my name, Roxas?”
“No,” Roxas told him. “You’d like that too much.” With his head turned, Axel had a great view of Roxas’ hips and the curve of his ass and his thighs and, really, the most important thing which, honest, he hadn’t seen ever and was sort of mystified by.
His shirt fell away from him in mostly one piece.
“There,” Roxas said, sounding very satisfied. Then Axel could feel him kneeling behind him, between his legs. Roxas warm, dry, slightly callused hands were running up his arms. Axel could feel the heat of Roxas’ body just an inch maybe from his back. Roxas hands touched him everywhere, in his hair, over his face, in his mouth, over his shoulders, down his back, down his sides. They ticked off his ribs and smoothed up and down over his obliques and the way they curved in from Axel’s lack of fat. Then Roxas leaned against him to stroke his chest.
“You’d look good with breasts,” Roxas told him, groping the flat plane of his pectorals. Axel made an extremely offended, disgusted noise. But then he ran his hand down Axel’s stomach in this way that made him shiver all over, because not only did he like that anyways, but it was Roxas. Roxas kissed his back and shoulder blades. Axel shuddered and got harder and harder.
“I want you to kiss me,” Axel whined. “You kiss so good.”
“How would you know how I kiss?” Roxas asked, but he didn’t let Axel answer. He just took Axel by the hair and twisted his head about so that he could reach is mouth. It was hard and it certainly hurt Axel’s neck a lot more than it hurt Roxas, but it was so good.
“Oh god, Roxas,” Axel moaned once Roxas had let him free. Roxas had his arms wrapped around him and was leaning all his weight on him, which hurt his recently dislocated shoulder like a motherfucker and having his recently abused dick and balls so excited was also more painful, really, than fun, but…
“Roxas,” he moaned again. The boy had only pulled his pants down far enough to show his ass. Axel let his body sag, so that his ass was higher in comparison. It was absolutely slutty and purposefully so.
Roxas leaned back and Axel shuddered to know that he was just leaning back to get a good look. Roxas just reached forward and grabbed him, massaging him roughly in a way that was kind of groping and kind of mauling and went on longer than anyone had ever bothered to grope Axel’s ass before in his life.
“Hold on,” Roxas told him. “I’ve got to get lube.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice shaky. “I’m not going anywhere.”
***
It took a lot of effort before Naminé gave up, but eventually she did. Her face was a little tear streaked, the streaks smeared where Demyx had wiped and kissed them away. It hadn’t helped, of course, but he didn’t understand that. Now he had her by the hand and was taking her upstairs to his recently cleared out apartment. It had a bed and a desk and a computer that you could see and actually use. Sure, there wasn’t really much but Chinese take out leftovers and cheesesticks in the fridge, but it was becoming a home.
“I’ve cleaned up,” he told her. “I think you’ll like it.” She didn’t answer.
“Hello, Demyx,” Marluxia said. He was standing in Demyx’s doorway, leaning against the shut door.
“Oh,” Demyx said. “Shit.”
“Oh, why hello, precious,” Marluxia said directly to Naminé. She whimpered.
“I had no idea,” Marluixa said. “You, cheating on Axel with Demyx. The scandal!”
Demyx couldn’t help but look intensely guilty. Naminé, however, was far less interesting to Marluxia; she didn’t even try to look offended.
“Well, you know, I won’t tell,” Marluxia said. “If I can have a little taste.”
“What the hell, Marly?!” Demyx said. He put himself between the man and Naminé. “No.”
Naminé shook out of her reverie for that moment. Demyx was… really defending her? And he wasn’t high or drunk or anything, even.
“Fine,” Marluxia said, coldly. “But it’s Axel you’ll have to face then, instead of me.”
Naminé could watch Demyx waver, because he did this little dance of nervousness and indecision.
“Demyx,” she said. He turned and looked at her.
“I’ll deal with Axel for you,” she whispered. “Just, please don’t let Marluxia stay.”
Demyx grinned, absolutely beamed.
“You heard the girl,” he said, with a smirk. Marluxia sneered at both of them.
“Fine, have your little tryst,” Marluxia gritted out. “Demyx, I’ll find a way to make you pay for this.”
But he didn’t care, he clasped Naminé’s hands and brought her inside to give her the very quick tour of his freshly cleaned out and cleaned up apartment.
***
Roxas didn’t spend a whole lot of time fingering him, Axel thought and the first thing he said was “This is kind of gross, you know?” and the second thing he said was “God, you’re really tight.”
Axel just wished he’d say his name, wished he’d lean back in and really touch him, wished that he’d reach a little deeper and at least try to find a prostate. But then he finished and Axel felt Roxas behind him, bracing one hand on his hip and the other on his bad shoulder.
Axel bit down, and tried to think sexy thoughts, because Roxas’ weight bearing down on his painful shoulder joint and the burning stretch as Roxas entered him…
He wasn’t wearing a condom, it hit Axel so suddenly. Naminé said even with the birthcontrol they used condoms regularly. And Axel had used condoms with Naminé and Legato, who were his last sexual partners in some odd few years. The only place he hadn’t, pretty much, was in prison. He wished he had, but what could he say? Cigarettes were just more important to him.
It was hot and made the whole thing so sudden and painfully intimate. Roxas let his weight rest against Axel’s body, suspended mostly by his wrists. It was painful, too painful. And the times Roxas hit the right spot were few and far between, but when he did it made Axel just about scream.
“Fuck, Roxas,” he said in between clenching his jaw in pain and keening with pleasure. Roxas absolutely pounded into him, and Axel could hear his every pant and his litany of cuss words and prayers.
“Roxas,” Axel said. “Fuck me Roxas. Fuck me harder. Yes. Roxas.” He had a relatively clear head and used it to provoke the hell out of Roxas, goading him on, because harder and faster meant that he hit the right spot more often just out of sheer chance.
Axel shuddered and his half hard dick leaked, he could feel it dripping down.
“Oh god, Roxas.”
***
Naminé had come back to her senses, but she still didn’t want to be here. She preferred comfortably numb to frighteningly aware of what was going to happen. She remembered Demyx as a thankfully short-lived lover, though, but rough and inconsiderate.
This time, though, was a little different. He slipped her underwear off and was going down on her.
“To pay you back for all those times,” he said, as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were shining, the pupils huge.
“You’re beautiful like this,” he said. She was shivering.
Then he did it again. And again, with his hands, though that was a bit rougher than she would have liked and it made her wince, an action that Demyx totally misinterpreted as pleasure.
He had become considerate at least.
***
Roxas came harder than he’d ever orgasmed before in his life. The yell he gave was still ringing in his ears. And then he’d just collapsed against Axel, pulling them both down. He heard something pop.
“Ow! Fuck!” Axel yelled. Roxas scrambled up and pulled out with the same action, roughly and unexpectedly.
“Shit!” Roxas yelled. It was gruesome to look at Axel’s shoulder. He undid the handcuffs as fast as he could and watched in sympathetic agony and horror as Axel, naked, sweaty, and flushed, popped his shoulder back into place.
“That hurts a lot more the second time,” he said through grit teeth.
“Oh my god, Axel, I’m so sorry,” Roxas said. He was gaping. He didn’t know what to say, because he was naked and post-orgasmic and covered in lube and gross things like that. He kind of didn’t want to talk. He kind of wanted a shower, a nap, and a bic mac.
“You said my name,” Axel said, in wonder. “Totally worth it then.”
And Roxas punched him in his good arm. They laughed, though Roxas’ was kind of breathy and tired sounding.
“Go shower,” Axel told him. “I promise not to root through your underwear drawer.”
“Come shower with me,” Roxas said. And it was so forward and so welcoming me that Axel got up and followed him, letting his pants slide off the bed without a thought.
***
Demyx was still short-lived, but he tried damn hard to last a while.
“God, I’m sorry Naminé,” he said. He looked so ashamed, even through his orgasmic bliss.
“It’s okay,” she told him. Then she was surprised: he wanted to cuddle and, honestly, she didn’t want to be touched, especially not by Demyx. The sex hadn’t been as bad as she’d thought it would be, but she still knew it hadn’t been something she’d wanted. Still, she lay there very quiet and still until Demyx fell asleep.
Then she scrubbed very clean in his bathroom, dressed, and fled.
***
Roxas knew that if he invited Axel into the tiny shower stall with him, it would go places. Axel turned around, looming over him in such a tight space.
“Can I?” he asked.
“Can you what?” Roxas asked, not even feigning naïveté.
“Suck your dick?” Axel said, with a far too self-confidant leer.
“Yeah, go ahead,” Roxas shrugged, like he didn’t get harder just from that. So Axel smirked and dropped to his knees and did exactly what he’d asked to do.
***
Naminé’s legs were shaky but they carried her away from Demyx’s apartment. Not as far as her own, but she ran into the street that Nada U’s main campus was on and she headed down to the university.
Axel could give her a ride home and soothe her shattered nerves. Maybe he’d even kill Demyx and Marluxia in a-no, not jealous, but still-rage.
***
“I’ve probably overstayed my welcome,” Axel admitted pulling his pants on.
Roxas kind of wanted to tell him “no” but he just… Couldn’t do it.
“You owe me a shirt,” Axel told him, holding his hand out. Roxas dug through his dresser and pulled out a plain red t-shirt. It was skinny cut and a medium, which fit Roxas just fine. But it was like a second skin over Axel’s broader shoulders and it was too short, showing this big swash of his belly from his navel to his hipbones. Roxas kind of wanted to jump him all over again.
“I feel really gay,” Axel said, making a face about the shirt. Roxas snorted and then dissolved into giggles.
“Hey,” Axel snapped. “Not cool.” Axel went for the door and just before he left turned and just looked at Roxas like he was expecting something. The odd thing was that Roxas was expecting Axel to do something, to say something, to just ask to stay even if it would be impolite.
Let’s go get a burger, or let’s watch a movie, or let’s just go drive in meaningless circles for the hell of it. But he was quiet and just… looking at Roxas.
“Was that really all?” Roxas asked.
“Huh?”
“Was that all that kept you from killing me?” Roxas asked. “Wanting to have sex with me? You’ve held onto that for, like, four years?”
Axel suddenly got this hard, angry look.
“Yeah,” he said. “That was it.”
“Damn you’re a freak,” Roxas said.
Out Axel went, shutting the door a little harder than necessary. He looked at the door and felt his face contorting into that pathetic thing it made sometimes when he woke up thinking about the past they’d had and how it was all over. This was another one of those, “Axel Alonso ruins his own stupid life through glorious and prolonged acts of stupidity” moments. He sighed.
Roxas went straight to his computer, putting on some music and checking his email. He was angry, and no less settled than before. He sighed from frustration and maybe a little from exhaustion. Maybe a nap would be a better way to spend his time.
***
“Where’d you get that shirt?” was the first thing Naminé asked.
“I’m trying a new style,” Axel drawled. “You like it?”
She tilted her head at him in a way that said “No, not at all.”
“It’s,” she steeled herself to lie. “Okay.”
“Thanks, babe,” he said ruffling her hair. “You know how much your opinion matters to me.”
“Not at all,” she chirped.
“Got it in one,” he chimed back.
“Can we go… not home, but somewhere?” she asked him.
He jangled his car keys at her.
“Just say the place,” he said. “It might be our last supper.”
She swallowed hard around a lump in her throat. She took deep breaths all the way to the car and once she buckled in and before Axel started the car she said it.
“I slept with Demyx.”
“What?!” Axel stared at her, obviously furious.
“I didn’t want to,” she whimpered.
“I figured that,” he snapped. “What the fuck?!”
“He’s been making me for a while now,” she said. “Because he knew about Roxas.”
“Fucker told Xemnas, didn’t he?!” Axel was in that kind of rage where he’d made his mind up on the facts two seconds ago; Naminé would never change his mind until the fire died out in his eyes and he could at least pretend to be a normal person. She wondered if he’d always been that way, or only since he’d started killing people, or maybe since he’d gotten tired and bored with killing people.
“He said he didn’t,” Naminé defended him.
“Don’t defend him,” Axel said. “He’s a liar as well as a rapist.”
“It didn’t hurt,” she said.
“That doesn’t matter,” he told her. “You know that. I taught you better than that.”
That’s when she burst into tears.
***
Roxas sat on his bed, wanting to sleep, but too busy thinking. He didn’t exactly know what to do with all the thoughts bouncing and knocking around inside his head so he sat down at the computer and started to compose a poem.
Together they are fire.
One is heat.
The other light.
They burn.
***
“I’ll fucking kill him,” Axel said, slamming his hands against the steering wheel.
“He did protect me from Marluxia,” Naminé defended him.
“Stop defending him!” he yelled in the tiny confined space of the car. He was too tired and sore to put up with this.
“Let’s just get something to eat,” he said finally. She wiped her tears and took big deep breaths.
Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Rating: ridiculously high
Word Count: 3593
Disclaimer: Disney, Square Enix, and Nomura own the Kingdom Hearts stuff. The Trigun stuff is Yasahiro Nightow and Dark Horse. See full disclaimer in my profile.
Summary: Axel and Roxas; Naminé and Demyx. Bad things will happen.
Warnings: This is a realistic rather than eroticized portrayal of sexual assault. A lot of weird moral issues are explored in terms of how different people feel about what is, essentially acquaintance rape. In both instances, one person uses some advantage they have over another person to get that person to have sex with them. There is, of course, some violence and then the unpleasant emotional aftermath. I don't like this chapter. It was hard to write and I am sorry if, for the same reasons, it is difficult to read.
“Hey! Wait! Roxas!” Axel was rushing after the kid. “I’m sorry!”
“Yeah,” Roxas stopped. “And what exactly are you sorry for?”
“Everything?” Axel said, scratching his head. Roxas looked at him and turned back around and kept walking. Axel just followed, exactly like the stalker Roxas had accused him of being. He didn’t try to defend himself, knew already that when Roxas gave the silent treatment he expected silence back.
But Roxas didn’t try to get rid of him even as he stepped into the dorm elevator with him. Even when he pushed his way into Roxas’ room.
“I just want an answer to my question,” Roxas told him.
“I just want you to fuck me,” Axel said in exactly the same tone.
“Are you mocking me?” Roxas asked, his glare was set on kill, not stun. “Because that would be a bad idea.”
“Ha!” Axel barked out. “No, that’s the reason.”
“What?”
“What?”
“You want me to fuck you,” Roxas repeated. “That’s why you didn’t kill me.”
“Yeah,” Axel repeated.
“I know you’re stupid and functionally illiterate, but you do know the difference between past and present tense right?” Roxas asked.
“On good days,” Axel replied cheekily.
Then they stared at each other.
“I was serious,” Axel said. “Maybe it’s all mushy bullshit, but at the time I was so attached to you and so hard up for you, that I couldn’t do it. Or something. Don’t read much into it, I’m still a heartless bastard.”
“The hell you are,” Roxas agreed. And then he was up and he was kissing Axel really, really hard, just slamming his lips, with the teeth and jaws and face attached to them, against Axel’s.
“Whoa,” Axel shoved him away. “You don’t have to.”
Roxas didn’t say anything, but he grabbed Axel by the hair and wrenched his head back down to his level. This time he used tongue. Axel purred and he tried to wrap his arms around Roxas’ body and enjoy this. So that’s when Roxas pulled away.
“I don’t want you to touch me,” he said.
“What? Why?” Axel looked a little bit dumbstruck and a little bit awestruck. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and it still didn’t get rid of the feeling or taste of Roxas.
“Because I’m not gay,” Roxas told him. Axel laughed.
“You know I did hear that little bit before when you were yelling about how I ruined your life or something,” Axel said.
“I’m serious,” Roxas said. “I’m not gay.”
“Dude,” Axel tried to reason with him. “You’ve got a closet. Full. Of picture of me. You are G-A-Y, got it memorized?”
“Shut up,” Roxas said, giving him this “I am tired of your silly stupid talking, you irritate me with your idiocy” look that he was used to getting. Then he shoved him, hard and he went stuttering backwards till the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and then he just fell backwards.
Roxas, as it turned out, owned a pair of handcuffs.
***
“Come on, Naminé, don’t be mean,” Demyx was holding her by the wrists.
She kept turning her face away so that he couldn’t kiss her. He had been begging for a good long while.
“I want it to be good for you too,” he whined.
Her mind was running to parallel tracks of “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t fucking touch me” and “Stop, no, stop, no, stop, no” but she hadn’t ever actually said anything.
“Please?” he asked, kissing her cheek. His whole body was pressed against her in the tiny, tiny space of his car. They were in public, she didn’t know why no one was stopping him.
“Please,” he said. “I just want a kiss.” But she knew he was lying, because she could feel him.
She turned to look at him and opened her mouth to speak. He dove for the opening, his tongue in her mouth. She tried to bite him.
“Ouch!” he pulled back. “You little-Sorry, that was uncalled for. But you did bite me. That wasn’t very nice, Naminé.”
“You know,” he said. “I really am in love with you.”
Naminé whimpered.
***
“Roxas?” Axel asked. He craned his head as far around as he could and he still couldn’t see him.
“This isn’t like that thing where the really hot chick offers the guy a blowjob and then handcuffs him to a pole in an alley, is it?”
“Do I look like a really hot chick to you?” Roxas asked, stepping into Axel’s field of vision. He was naked. And hard. Axel flushed because he could actually feel his pupils getting blown.
“You don’t want me to answer that,” Axel leered. Roxas snarled at him and rolled his eyes.
The problem Roxas saw was that he’d handcuffed Axel to the bed in a struggle more than foreplay, so Axel’s clothes were all still on. Axel was kneeling and bent over on the bed, his wide hips and appropriately large ass up in the air and his oversized white shirt sliding down to show his pale, mostly flawless back and tight, skinny stomach and ribs.
But Roxas was totally naked and he wanted Axel to be totally naked. He thought about it hard, but maybe not too hard because he was pretty busy masturbating to keep hard himself.
“You know,” he said. “Naminé and I never do it in this position.”
Axel laughed because he knew why, but said, “And I need to know this, why?”
“You didn’t,” Roxas said. “I’m just letting you know so you can feel special.” He didn’t say it in a very “I think you’re special” kind of way. Axel heard something he was pretty sure was a pair of scissors opening and closing a few times.
“Uhm,” he said. “Roxas?” And then Roxas was pulling his shirt back up over his body and cutting up the back.
“Whoa!” Axel said. “You know if you uncuffed me, I could just take it off.”
“Don’t want to,” Roxas said.
“This is kind of fucked up, Roxas,” Axel told him.
“You’re kind of fucked up.”
“You ever going to say my name, Roxas?”
“No,” Roxas told him. “You’d like that too much.” With his head turned, Axel had a great view of Roxas’ hips and the curve of his ass and his thighs and, really, the most important thing which, honest, he hadn’t seen ever and was sort of mystified by.
His shirt fell away from him in mostly one piece.
“There,” Roxas said, sounding very satisfied. Then Axel could feel him kneeling behind him, between his legs. Roxas warm, dry, slightly callused hands were running up his arms. Axel could feel the heat of Roxas’ body just an inch maybe from his back. Roxas hands touched him everywhere, in his hair, over his face, in his mouth, over his shoulders, down his back, down his sides. They ticked off his ribs and smoothed up and down over his obliques and the way they curved in from Axel’s lack of fat. Then Roxas leaned against him to stroke his chest.
“You’d look good with breasts,” Roxas told him, groping the flat plane of his pectorals. Axel made an extremely offended, disgusted noise. But then he ran his hand down Axel’s stomach in this way that made him shiver all over, because not only did he like that anyways, but it was Roxas. Roxas kissed his back and shoulder blades. Axel shuddered and got harder and harder.
“I want you to kiss me,” Axel whined. “You kiss so good.”
“How would you know how I kiss?” Roxas asked, but he didn’t let Axel answer. He just took Axel by the hair and twisted his head about so that he could reach is mouth. It was hard and it certainly hurt Axel’s neck a lot more than it hurt Roxas, but it was so good.
“Oh god, Roxas,” Axel moaned once Roxas had let him free. Roxas had his arms wrapped around him and was leaning all his weight on him, which hurt his recently dislocated shoulder like a motherfucker and having his recently abused dick and balls so excited was also more painful, really, than fun, but…
“Roxas,” he moaned again. The boy had only pulled his pants down far enough to show his ass. Axel let his body sag, so that his ass was higher in comparison. It was absolutely slutty and purposefully so.
Roxas leaned back and Axel shuddered to know that he was just leaning back to get a good look. Roxas just reached forward and grabbed him, massaging him roughly in a way that was kind of groping and kind of mauling and went on longer than anyone had ever bothered to grope Axel’s ass before in his life.
“Hold on,” Roxas told him. “I’ve got to get lube.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice shaky. “I’m not going anywhere.”
***
It took a lot of effort before Naminé gave up, but eventually she did. Her face was a little tear streaked, the streaks smeared where Demyx had wiped and kissed them away. It hadn’t helped, of course, but he didn’t understand that. Now he had her by the hand and was taking her upstairs to his recently cleared out apartment. It had a bed and a desk and a computer that you could see and actually use. Sure, there wasn’t really much but Chinese take out leftovers and cheesesticks in the fridge, but it was becoming a home.
“I’ve cleaned up,” he told her. “I think you’ll like it.” She didn’t answer.
“Hello, Demyx,” Marluxia said. He was standing in Demyx’s doorway, leaning against the shut door.
“Oh,” Demyx said. “Shit.”
“Oh, why hello, precious,” Marluxia said directly to Naminé. She whimpered.
“I had no idea,” Marluixa said. “You, cheating on Axel with Demyx. The scandal!”
Demyx couldn’t help but look intensely guilty. Naminé, however, was far less interesting to Marluxia; she didn’t even try to look offended.
“Well, you know, I won’t tell,” Marluxia said. “If I can have a little taste.”
“What the hell, Marly?!” Demyx said. He put himself between the man and Naminé. “No.”
Naminé shook out of her reverie for that moment. Demyx was… really defending her? And he wasn’t high or drunk or anything, even.
“Fine,” Marluxia said, coldly. “But it’s Axel you’ll have to face then, instead of me.”
Naminé could watch Demyx waver, because he did this little dance of nervousness and indecision.
“Demyx,” she said. He turned and looked at her.
“I’ll deal with Axel for you,” she whispered. “Just, please don’t let Marluxia stay.”
Demyx grinned, absolutely beamed.
“You heard the girl,” he said, with a smirk. Marluxia sneered at both of them.
“Fine, have your little tryst,” Marluxia gritted out. “Demyx, I’ll find a way to make you pay for this.”
But he didn’t care, he clasped Naminé’s hands and brought her inside to give her the very quick tour of his freshly cleaned out and cleaned up apartment.
***
Roxas didn’t spend a whole lot of time fingering him, Axel thought and the first thing he said was “This is kind of gross, you know?” and the second thing he said was “God, you’re really tight.”
Axel just wished he’d say his name, wished he’d lean back in and really touch him, wished that he’d reach a little deeper and at least try to find a prostate. But then he finished and Axel felt Roxas behind him, bracing one hand on his hip and the other on his bad shoulder.
Axel bit down, and tried to think sexy thoughts, because Roxas’ weight bearing down on his painful shoulder joint and the burning stretch as Roxas entered him…
He wasn’t wearing a condom, it hit Axel so suddenly. Naminé said even with the birthcontrol they used condoms regularly. And Axel had used condoms with Naminé and Legato, who were his last sexual partners in some odd few years. The only place he hadn’t, pretty much, was in prison. He wished he had, but what could he say? Cigarettes were just more important to him.
It was hot and made the whole thing so sudden and painfully intimate. Roxas let his weight rest against Axel’s body, suspended mostly by his wrists. It was painful, too painful. And the times Roxas hit the right spot were few and far between, but when he did it made Axel just about scream.
“Fuck, Roxas,” he said in between clenching his jaw in pain and keening with pleasure. Roxas absolutely pounded into him, and Axel could hear his every pant and his litany of cuss words and prayers.
“Roxas,” Axel said. “Fuck me Roxas. Fuck me harder. Yes. Roxas.” He had a relatively clear head and used it to provoke the hell out of Roxas, goading him on, because harder and faster meant that he hit the right spot more often just out of sheer chance.
Axel shuddered and his half hard dick leaked, he could feel it dripping down.
“Oh god, Roxas.”
***
Naminé had come back to her senses, but she still didn’t want to be here. She preferred comfortably numb to frighteningly aware of what was going to happen. She remembered Demyx as a thankfully short-lived lover, though, but rough and inconsiderate.
This time, though, was a little different. He slipped her underwear off and was going down on her.
“To pay you back for all those times,” he said, as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were shining, the pupils huge.
“You’re beautiful like this,” he said. She was shivering.
Then he did it again. And again, with his hands, though that was a bit rougher than she would have liked and it made her wince, an action that Demyx totally misinterpreted as pleasure.
He had become considerate at least.
***
Roxas came harder than he’d ever orgasmed before in his life. The yell he gave was still ringing in his ears. And then he’d just collapsed against Axel, pulling them both down. He heard something pop.
“Ow! Fuck!” Axel yelled. Roxas scrambled up and pulled out with the same action, roughly and unexpectedly.
“Shit!” Roxas yelled. It was gruesome to look at Axel’s shoulder. He undid the handcuffs as fast as he could and watched in sympathetic agony and horror as Axel, naked, sweaty, and flushed, popped his shoulder back into place.
“That hurts a lot more the second time,” he said through grit teeth.
“Oh my god, Axel, I’m so sorry,” Roxas said. He was gaping. He didn’t know what to say, because he was naked and post-orgasmic and covered in lube and gross things like that. He kind of didn’t want to talk. He kind of wanted a shower, a nap, and a bic mac.
“You said my name,” Axel said, in wonder. “Totally worth it then.”
And Roxas punched him in his good arm. They laughed, though Roxas’ was kind of breathy and tired sounding.
“Go shower,” Axel told him. “I promise not to root through your underwear drawer.”
“Come shower with me,” Roxas said. And it was so forward and so welcoming me that Axel got up and followed him, letting his pants slide off the bed without a thought.
***
Demyx was still short-lived, but he tried damn hard to last a while.
“God, I’m sorry Naminé,” he said. He looked so ashamed, even through his orgasmic bliss.
“It’s okay,” she told him. Then she was surprised: he wanted to cuddle and, honestly, she didn’t want to be touched, especially not by Demyx. The sex hadn’t been as bad as she’d thought it would be, but she still knew it hadn’t been something she’d wanted. Still, she lay there very quiet and still until Demyx fell asleep.
Then she scrubbed very clean in his bathroom, dressed, and fled.
***
Roxas knew that if he invited Axel into the tiny shower stall with him, it would go places. Axel turned around, looming over him in such a tight space.
“Can I?” he asked.
“Can you what?” Roxas asked, not even feigning naïveté.
“Suck your dick?” Axel said, with a far too self-confidant leer.
“Yeah, go ahead,” Roxas shrugged, like he didn’t get harder just from that. So Axel smirked and dropped to his knees and did exactly what he’d asked to do.
***
Naminé’s legs were shaky but they carried her away from Demyx’s apartment. Not as far as her own, but she ran into the street that Nada U’s main campus was on and she headed down to the university.
Axel could give her a ride home and soothe her shattered nerves. Maybe he’d even kill Demyx and Marluxia in a-no, not jealous, but still-rage.
***
“I’ve probably overstayed my welcome,” Axel admitted pulling his pants on.
Roxas kind of wanted to tell him “no” but he just… Couldn’t do it.
“You owe me a shirt,” Axel told him, holding his hand out. Roxas dug through his dresser and pulled out a plain red t-shirt. It was skinny cut and a medium, which fit Roxas just fine. But it was like a second skin over Axel’s broader shoulders and it was too short, showing this big swash of his belly from his navel to his hipbones. Roxas kind of wanted to jump him all over again.
“I feel really gay,” Axel said, making a face about the shirt. Roxas snorted and then dissolved into giggles.
“Hey,” Axel snapped. “Not cool.” Axel went for the door and just before he left turned and just looked at Roxas like he was expecting something. The odd thing was that Roxas was expecting Axel to do something, to say something, to just ask to stay even if it would be impolite.
Let’s go get a burger, or let’s watch a movie, or let’s just go drive in meaningless circles for the hell of it. But he was quiet and just… looking at Roxas.
“Was that really all?” Roxas asked.
“Huh?”
“Was that all that kept you from killing me?” Roxas asked. “Wanting to have sex with me? You’ve held onto that for, like, four years?”
Axel suddenly got this hard, angry look.
“Yeah,” he said. “That was it.”
“Damn you’re a freak,” Roxas said.
Out Axel went, shutting the door a little harder than necessary. He looked at the door and felt his face contorting into that pathetic thing it made sometimes when he woke up thinking about the past they’d had and how it was all over. This was another one of those, “Axel Alonso ruins his own stupid life through glorious and prolonged acts of stupidity” moments. He sighed.
Roxas went straight to his computer, putting on some music and checking his email. He was angry, and no less settled than before. He sighed from frustration and maybe a little from exhaustion. Maybe a nap would be a better way to spend his time.
***
“Where’d you get that shirt?” was the first thing Naminé asked.
“I’m trying a new style,” Axel drawled. “You like it?”
She tilted her head at him in a way that said “No, not at all.”
“It’s,” she steeled herself to lie. “Okay.”
“Thanks, babe,” he said ruffling her hair. “You know how much your opinion matters to me.”
“Not at all,” she chirped.
“Got it in one,” he chimed back.
“Can we go… not home, but somewhere?” she asked him.
He jangled his car keys at her.
“Just say the place,” he said. “It might be our last supper.”
She swallowed hard around a lump in her throat. She took deep breaths all the way to the car and once she buckled in and before Axel started the car she said it.
“I slept with Demyx.”
“What?!” Axel stared at her, obviously furious.
“I didn’t want to,” she whimpered.
“I figured that,” he snapped. “What the fuck?!”
“He’s been making me for a while now,” she said. “Because he knew about Roxas.”
“Fucker told Xemnas, didn’t he?!” Axel was in that kind of rage where he’d made his mind up on the facts two seconds ago; Naminé would never change his mind until the fire died out in his eyes and he could at least pretend to be a normal person. She wondered if he’d always been that way, or only since he’d started killing people, or maybe since he’d gotten tired and bored with killing people.
“He said he didn’t,” Naminé defended him.
“Don’t defend him,” Axel said. “He’s a liar as well as a rapist.”
“It didn’t hurt,” she said.
“That doesn’t matter,” he told her. “You know that. I taught you better than that.”
That’s when she burst into tears.
***
Roxas sat on his bed, wanting to sleep, but too busy thinking. He didn’t exactly know what to do with all the thoughts bouncing and knocking around inside his head so he sat down at the computer and started to compose a poem.
Together they are fire.
One is heat.
The other light.
They burn.
***
“I’ll fucking kill him,” Axel said, slamming his hands against the steering wheel.
“He did protect me from Marluxia,” Naminé defended him.
“Stop defending him!” he yelled in the tiny confined space of the car. He was too tired and sore to put up with this.
“Let’s just get something to eat,” he said finally. She wiped her tears and took big deep breaths.
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