No...just..no really.
I'm not alright. I find it far easier to pretend to be happy than to display being miserable, but i am. Miserable that is. Thoughroughly. It would appear im so good at hiding it that even i didn't realise until Monday. It came as quite shock as i'm sure you'd agree were you in my place.
Admittedly i havn't got as much to be sad about as others, but for me at least I feel a lot like I bought a house only to come home one day and find it demolished and replaced with a better one complete with a new owner smiling smugly at my newfound homelessness.
Hurrah.
It only serves to pour acid in the wound when certain friends appear to have no real intreest in fiding out if i am ok. A text this afternoon just about summed it up really.
btw this isn't aimed at anyone who may read this.
Just to top things off i also have to contend with my parents who seem to have no regard for my actual feelings either and who seem determined to concentrate on my failings rather than help me progress.
[ Not an hour ago i had finally built up the courage to start applying for auditions only for my mother to come in and effectively piss all over me ]
I have also upset Claire, which worries me which is actually stupid because she upset me and...... i just hate people.
argh.
I have such a world of unpositive things to say to myself right now.
If anyone has some spare foreceps please forward them to me so i can attempt to pull my self indulgent head out my arse.
Admittedly i havn't got as much to be sad about as others, but for me at least I feel a lot like I bought a house only to come home one day and find it demolished and replaced with a better one complete with a new owner smiling smugly at my newfound homelessness.
Hurrah.
It only serves to pour acid in the wound when certain friends appear to have no real intreest in fiding out if i am ok. A text this afternoon just about summed it up really.
btw this isn't aimed at anyone who may read this.
Just to top things off i also have to contend with my parents who seem to have no regard for my actual feelings either and who seem determined to concentrate on my failings rather than help me progress.
[ Not an hour ago i had finally built up the courage to start applying for auditions only for my mother to come in and effectively piss all over me ]
I have also upset Claire, which worries me which is actually stupid because she upset me and...... i just hate people.
argh.
I have such a world of unpositive things to say to myself right now.
If anyone has some spare foreceps please forward them to me so i can attempt to pull my self indulgent head out my arse.