tired dream
A long time something happened to me. Something bad that fucked me up for years and left me running at half bore for a good decade or so. I still feel it today.........
Today I came to a revelation. Something once upon a time stopped me from being who I was. And I couldn't embrace what happened because I wasn't that either. Self destruction at first glance seemed more logical than this paradox of being changed by something I couldn't be because I wasn't but I couldn't be what I was.
I grasp the paradox. Its a long way from a cure.
I finished the lit review. I now need to get the courage together to hand it in.
I'm going for my first counselling session in nine years tomorrow. I'm not supposing it'll do any good but I'm ready to be proved wrong. I am also going to spend £40 on seeing an educational psychologist to deal with my malignant blocks I have with essay writing and the sheer panic deadlines instill in me.
I feel a little exhausted. I feel a little crap at myself. I feel a little relieved.
I've been running on empty so long with this it review that everything feels weird like a hardcore psychadelic comedown.
RTJ entered my dreams last night. I imagined sneaking into his room to steal some books and generally hoax him. I got worried his parents might catch me. I got too scared of getting caught to leave his room. I saw a montage where me, NL, him and MQ were all wearing 1950s/1960s style suits. The montage had the slogan "forgive our temptations".
This might not mean much to you but I needed to keep a record of it
Today I came to a revelation. Something once upon a time stopped me from being who I was. And I couldn't embrace what happened because I wasn't that either. Self destruction at first glance seemed more logical than this paradox of being changed by something I couldn't be because I wasn't but I couldn't be what I was.
I grasp the paradox. Its a long way from a cure.
I finished the lit review. I now need to get the courage together to hand it in.
I'm going for my first counselling session in nine years tomorrow. I'm not supposing it'll do any good but I'm ready to be proved wrong. I am also going to spend £40 on seeing an educational psychologist to deal with my malignant blocks I have with essay writing and the sheer panic deadlines instill in me.
I feel a little exhausted. I feel a little crap at myself. I feel a little relieved.
I've been running on empty so long with this it review that everything feels weird like a hardcore psychadelic comedown.
RTJ entered my dreams last night. I imagined sneaking into his room to steal some books and generally hoax him. I got worried his parents might catch me. I got too scared of getting caught to leave his room. I saw a montage where me, NL, him and MQ were all wearing 1950s/1960s style suits. The montage had the slogan "forgive our temptations".
This might not mean much to you but I needed to keep a record of it