some random news
Been at my parents overnight. My father said I could move back in and have my old room back. I think hell would have to freeze over, or at least my bank account before that would or could ever happen.
I could speak and the mad, bad and dangerous I deal with every day. One day this might make a great novel. Right now it would merely get me struck off. Same with my friends. Drinking partners don't like to be turned into narrative abstractions. I guess Kerouac found that one out the hard way. Talk about feelings? Yeah, I try to do that but how the fuck are you meant to talk about a feeling? A feeling can't be rationalised and abtracted without losing its essential feelingness, and yet to even talk about these things is to do that. There is not a language to talk about feelings. Indeed language rapes and mutilates feelings. I speak of feelings and betray feelings and I'm not quite sure if what I'm referring back to is even there due to the impossibility of syllogising it. Fuck you shrinks. Fuck you counsellors. Fuck you ex girlfriends, self help books and teen magazines though I'm nearly 30.
The world is strange. I listen to the Slits and the Fall. Tonight I'm going to a metal show. Apparently there was a time when I was younger when some people found me attractive. I don't know what I was doing then. I don't know what I'm doing know. I'm at my lightest weight wise for 5 years.
I'm so used to being alone. I can't understand serial monogamy or one nightstands.
I'm getting diverted on my inner goth-emo trip. Sorry. I'm brewing hot coffee. I was talking about the world being strange wasn't I?
I mean in Gaza a Mickey Mouse clone talks hegemony, ursury and empire and gets clubbed to death. I guess Hamas won't be putting a bid in for Jim Henson productions anytime soon.
However it looks like the prions that cause mad cow disease protect against alzeimers. Great, we've found a way of stopping you running the risk of becoming a dribbling senile wreck as long as you run the risk of becoming a senile dribbling wreck. Genial!!!!Way to go science!!!!!!!
This latest study on the effects of ecstasy on learning is particualy depressing. I guess if the effects were that bad I'd have forgotton that I'd read this..............................
And lastly it appears the terrorists latest weapon is blazing Jeeps into the departure lounge of airports................ I dunno I can't take any of this seriously.
I suppose I should add a little about Gordon Brown. He's very illiberal. He's not been democratically elected. I don't know. I despair of politics. The tao takes its course. Que sera sera. I'm not getting smashed by batons for just another flavour of the same 'ole shit. No I shall read books, love the best I can and party as the darkness closes in. Please leave a comment if you've got a better plan - cos u gotta be a better (wo)man than me - cos I've been working on that for years and all I have is a blank sheet of paper (though the same is true of essays, dissertations and emotionally cauterising letters to ex's).
I saw some generic self proclaimed anarchist in Manchester before. He had the air of a "folky real ale" drinker. He was also comparing Israel troops to Nazi Stormtroopers on a 15 foot banner. Yawn. With scholarship like that I can see that the revolution is nigh. Last week there was a massive demo in Manchester as the loathesome Brown was inaugurated. Looking all around it had me scratching my head. I mean how hard can it be to portray an idiotic and insane occuptation in Iraq (emotive words - fair enough but lets compare expense and goals attained and lives lost with stated objectives or even ostensible ones - insane and idiotic fits I'm afraid) without floating off into the realms of bullshit. Sadly impossible it seems. There was a carnival atmosphere though - and I did end up late for work. I also ended up next to some Salfordian wanna be gangster on the bus who seemed relieved I wasn't polish, inisisted on being a racist moron and started mouthing off about gangstery goings on in certain backwaters of greater manchester.
Why the hell aren't I living somewhere warm, exotic and intellectually welcoming? If I must live amongst stupid people at least let them be good looking and generous.
I could speak and the mad, bad and dangerous I deal with every day. One day this might make a great novel. Right now it would merely get me struck off. Same with my friends. Drinking partners don't like to be turned into narrative abstractions. I guess Kerouac found that one out the hard way. Talk about feelings? Yeah, I try to do that but how the fuck are you meant to talk about a feeling? A feeling can't be rationalised and abtracted without losing its essential feelingness, and yet to even talk about these things is to do that. There is not a language to talk about feelings. Indeed language rapes and mutilates feelings. I speak of feelings and betray feelings and I'm not quite sure if what I'm referring back to is even there due to the impossibility of syllogising it. Fuck you shrinks. Fuck you counsellors. Fuck you ex girlfriends, self help books and teen magazines though I'm nearly 30.
The world is strange. I listen to the Slits and the Fall. Tonight I'm going to a metal show. Apparently there was a time when I was younger when some people found me attractive. I don't know what I was doing then. I don't know what I'm doing know. I'm at my lightest weight wise for 5 years.
I'm so used to being alone. I can't understand serial monogamy or one nightstands.
I'm getting diverted on my inner goth-emo trip. Sorry. I'm brewing hot coffee. I was talking about the world being strange wasn't I?
I mean in Gaza a Mickey Mouse clone talks hegemony, ursury and empire and gets clubbed to death. I guess Hamas won't be putting a bid in for Jim Henson productions anytime soon.
However it looks like the prions that cause mad cow disease protect against alzeimers. Great, we've found a way of stopping you running the risk of becoming a dribbling senile wreck as long as you run the risk of becoming a senile dribbling wreck. Genial!!!!Way to go science!!!!!!!
This latest study on the effects of ecstasy on learning is particualy depressing. I guess if the effects were that bad I'd have forgotton that I'd read this..............................
And lastly it appears the terrorists latest weapon is blazing Jeeps into the departure lounge of airports................ I dunno I can't take any of this seriously.
I suppose I should add a little about Gordon Brown. He's very illiberal. He's not been democratically elected. I don't know. I despair of politics. The tao takes its course. Que sera sera. I'm not getting smashed by batons for just another flavour of the same 'ole shit. No I shall read books, love the best I can and party as the darkness closes in. Please leave a comment if you've got a better plan - cos u gotta be a better (wo)man than me - cos I've been working on that for years and all I have is a blank sheet of paper (though the same is true of essays, dissertations and emotionally cauterising letters to ex's).
I saw some generic self proclaimed anarchist in Manchester before. He had the air of a "folky real ale" drinker. He was also comparing Israel troops to Nazi Stormtroopers on a 15 foot banner. Yawn. With scholarship like that I can see that the revolution is nigh. Last week there was a massive demo in Manchester as the loathesome Brown was inaugurated. Looking all around it had me scratching my head. I mean how hard can it be to portray an idiotic and insane occuptation in Iraq (emotive words - fair enough but lets compare expense and goals attained and lives lost with stated objectives or even ostensible ones - insane and idiotic fits I'm afraid) without floating off into the realms of bullshit. Sadly impossible it seems. There was a carnival atmosphere though - and I did end up late for work. I also ended up next to some Salfordian wanna be gangster on the bus who seemed relieved I wasn't polish, inisisted on being a racist moron and started mouthing off about gangstery goings on in certain backwaters of greater manchester.
Why the hell aren't I living somewhere warm, exotic and intellectually welcoming? If I must live amongst stupid people at least let them be good looking and generous.