Title: Hermione Makes Discoveries About Heads
I know I made a fuss a while ago about how people kept asking me on ff.net to continue WFLE, but I actually have had inspiration for a while for a second chapter. I'm not sure if it's as funny as the first chapter, but...
~start~
Hermione was making a discovery.
Specifically, a discovery about desks.
They are very hard.
This is generally an accepted fact, and you may be wondering (or not, as the case may be) why Hermione was making this discovery.
She was hitting her head on the desk. Repeatedly. Not so much in the way one deliberately tries to pain oneself, but in the slow, tedious, repetitive manner through which one hopes the consistent injury to the brain will eventually and painlessly amount to a comatose condition that will thoroughly express one's despair and exasperation with the universe.
And no, sillies, this was not because she suddenly decided, screw cannon, up with Harmony.
And no, it was not because, as previously explored (see chapter one, and while you're at it, try some more reviews, will you?), the school administration had suddenly realized they had forgotten an education program exploring the wonders of the human body (though Hermione had something of a faint idea that Dumbledore had done this just for giggles, and was beginning to have some doubts about the extensive use of parentheses).
Hermione was gently bludgeoning herself with the table (or more accurately, bludgeoning the table with her head) because Professor McGonagall had some kind of inconveniently selective deafness, and she was somehow managing to tune out the sound of Peeves crooning naughty ballads into Hermione's ear.
"Peeves, would you please--" Hermione began to say.
"Miss Granger!" called Professor McGonagall, "I expected more from you than speaking during class. Five points from Gryffindor."
"Darn!" swore Hermione to herself.
"Yeah, Hermione," said Ron, "for shame."
"Talking in class," added Harry, shaking his head sadly.
"And that language," said Ron.
Harry was suddenly distracted. "Good Lord! Does that really happen?"
Ron looked, then turned back to Hermione. "Has that--does that--"
Hermione endeavored to make some new discoveries.
~start~
Hermione was making a discovery.
Specifically, a discovery about desks.
They are very hard.
This is generally an accepted fact, and you may be wondering (or not, as the case may be) why Hermione was making this discovery.
She was hitting her head on the desk. Repeatedly. Not so much in the way one deliberately tries to pain oneself, but in the slow, tedious, repetitive manner through which one hopes the consistent injury to the brain will eventually and painlessly amount to a comatose condition that will thoroughly express one's despair and exasperation with the universe.
And no, sillies, this was not because she suddenly decided, screw cannon, up with Harmony.
And no, it was not because, as previously explored (see chapter one, and while you're at it, try some more reviews, will you?), the school administration had suddenly realized they had forgotten an education program exploring the wonders of the human body (though Hermione had something of a faint idea that Dumbledore had done this just for giggles, and was beginning to have some doubts about the extensive use of parentheses).
Hermione was gently bludgeoning herself with the table (or more accurately, bludgeoning the table with her head) because Professor McGonagall had some kind of inconveniently selective deafness, and she was somehow managing to tune out the sound of Peeves crooning naughty ballads into Hermione's ear.
"Peeves, would you please--" Hermione began to say.
"Miss Granger!" called Professor McGonagall, "I expected more from you than speaking during class. Five points from Gryffindor."
"Darn!" swore Hermione to herself.
"Yeah, Hermione," said Ron, "for shame."
"Talking in class," added Harry, shaking his head sadly.
"And that language," said Ron.
Harry was suddenly distracted. "Good Lord! Does that really happen?"
Ron looked, then turned back to Hermione. "Has that--does that--"
Hermione endeavored to make some new discoveries.