Title: Psych, Title: Mary-Sue: Attack Mode cont.
"Do you know what that means? It means Yunie will die!!" Rikku cried, her face twisted in anguish.
Tidus felt as if his soul had been ripped apart. "No.. No!"
"We're sorry," Lulu said, a voice somewhere outside his consciousness. "It was... too hard to say.."
"No! And I kept saying, 'let's go to Zanarkand,' and 'let's defeat Sin..'" He beat his head against hte wall in despair.
Slowly he heard Rikku's ragged breathing quicken and a strange noise come into it. He turned to look at her. "Ngh.. ngh ngh heh heh heh ha hahaha hahahaha HAHAHAHAHA!" She doubled over, her body shaking with each explosion of laughter. "Punk'd!" she gasped, when Tidus stared at her, aghast. "Oh my god... You should've seen your face!! I wish I had a camera! Oh, lordy lordy.." she doubled over again, consumed by giggles.
"Sorry, Tidus, but it was too good a chance to miss," Lulu said, struggling to keep her face straight and to be heard over Wakka's loud laughter. The man rolled around on the floor, a roar of amusement escaping from his mouth.
Tidus looked at Kimahri, whose face was as blank as ever, but whose tail was whipping around in amusement.
He looked at Auron, whose face was hidden by the man's hands. He closed his eyes, relieved. He knew that at least Auron would not have taken part in that kind of prank-
"You - are so - gullible!!" Auron gasped out hoarsely, lifting his head and shaking with silent laughter. "Just like when you were a kid!"
And also, some writing in the as-of-yet unfinished second chapter of the PA Mary-Sues saga..
“What are they doing?”
“I dunno, I can’t see-Hey! It’s the arch-traitors!”
“Isn’t that their OC with them? The girl with the tunic… Shouldn’t she be one of us? I mean, she’s-“
“-shut up, they’re doing something and I can’t-“
“Hey, that looks like-DUCK!!”
“Blast!” cursed Talasin as quietly as she could, lowering her giant bazooka and pushing up her goggles. “They saw me.”
Crystal cocked her head sympathetically, and then quirked it again toward the Sues/fangirls. A strip of cloth was tied around her mouth, held down by several layers of duct tape plastered over her cheeks. Every few minutes something sounding like “baka,” or “kami-sama,” emerged with muffled malice.
“Go ahead,” Talasin whispered, uncorking a small vial with her teeth as she used her free hand to push more bullets into her gun.
“Why are we whispering? They know where we are,” said Tidus, using normal volume.
“It’s more dramatic, Tidus,” said Oredne evenly, wielding her weapon of choice.
Tidus glanced at it and sighed. He didn’t know how anyone could talk about the need for drama while holding a giant red button saying “Flames.” He glanced at Crystal again. Black stripes were painted on her cheeks-or more realistically, what you could see of her cheeks in the spaces between duct tape. He began to speak, then stopped, then started again.
“Why is Crystal having issues with speaking random Japanese words when Talasin isn’t?” he asked, finally.
“I am too having issues! I’m just able to keep them down more easily!” Talasin protested, indignant.
“Why?”
“Because Crystal’s more of a Sue than me,” Talasin said smugly. A sharp elbow rammed into her side. “OW!” What I mean is, Crystal is naturally more inclined to Suedom because of what she actually looks like. Crystal is already a relatively Sue-ish name, and genetics made her skinny with blonde hair and blue eyes. The proximity of those fangirls is overriding her instinctive refusal to speak fangirl Japanese. And I’m writing the story, so there.”
Tidus raised his eyebrows and looked away. Smart-Crystal was bad enough, but Smart-Talasin honestly freaked him out.
“What do you mean, I’m more Sue-ish?” Crystal demanded, tugging the gag down. She whacked Talasin around the head with both of her hands. “Miss Half-Asian?!” Miss DARK HAIRED PALE SKINNED!” She launched a full-scale attack.
“HEY!” Talasin protested ineffectually, trying with little success to shield herself from the blows Crystal was raining onto her head. “I just said-“
“I heard what you said, BAKA--- AAAAAH!”
“SEE! IT’S TRUE! YOU ARE! AND I HAVE FRECKLES ANYWAY, SO IT DOESN’T APPLY! HAHAHAHA--- hack cough splutter croak,” Talasin finished off, speaking the sound effects unnecessarily as she coughed.
“Shut up,” Crystal muttered.
“Why did they never attack before?” Tidus asked reasonably, or as reasonably as he could when hiding from crazed fangirls behind layers of sandbags in front of a dimensionally unstable and enormous building with doors that led in and out of the same room, etc, with some other crazed fangirls and a figment of their imagination.
All three of them looked dodgy. Except for Oredne, though, because she’s too cool to look dodgy. Normally that would be Mary-Sue-ish, but Oredne is a figment of imagination and too cool for any of the guys in the Patricide Association anyway so it doesn’t matter.
“Well…”
“You see…”
“We’re bringing in more people,” Oredne said concisely.
“Oredne! You’re not supposed to tell him anything! That’s what he’s for!”
“What-“
“You mean he’s here for not telling anything?”
“Well, of course, why else?”
“I thought it was because we both admire his strength of character as well as his charming looks.”
“Oh, well, that too of course-“
“And what about the whole killing of fathers thing?”
“That’s why it’s the Patricide Association, Crystal. Honestly, don’t you pay attention to things?”
“So we’ve got him here not so we can not tell him things, but because he’s hot and emotionally diverse and killed his daddy?”
“No!”
“Well, then, why?”
“Oh, shut up-“
“YOU shut up-“
“Both of you shut up, or I will lock you in a closet with a bunch of extremely overweight women in bikinis,” Oredne said, with dangerous calmness.
Both of the girls recoiled and wisely closed their mouths.
“Who?” Tidus asked, blinking. Of course, this is a natural body instinct and people don’t normally blink on purpose even when confronted with surprising or disturbing news. However, since Tidus is not, in fact, in the real world, this is irrelevant. So shut up.
“You wouldn’t know them,” Talasin said, rallying valiantly around her view that Tidus should never be told anything.
Tidus felt as if his soul had been ripped apart. "No.. No!"
"We're sorry," Lulu said, a voice somewhere outside his consciousness. "It was... too hard to say.."
"No! And I kept saying, 'let's go to Zanarkand,' and 'let's defeat Sin..'" He beat his head against hte wall in despair.
Slowly he heard Rikku's ragged breathing quicken and a strange noise come into it. He turned to look at her. "Ngh.. ngh ngh heh heh heh ha hahaha hahahaha HAHAHAHAHA!" She doubled over, her body shaking with each explosion of laughter. "Punk'd!" she gasped, when Tidus stared at her, aghast. "Oh my god... You should've seen your face!! I wish I had a camera! Oh, lordy lordy.." she doubled over again, consumed by giggles.
"Sorry, Tidus, but it was too good a chance to miss," Lulu said, struggling to keep her face straight and to be heard over Wakka's loud laughter. The man rolled around on the floor, a roar of amusement escaping from his mouth.
Tidus looked at Kimahri, whose face was as blank as ever, but whose tail was whipping around in amusement.
He looked at Auron, whose face was hidden by the man's hands. He closed his eyes, relieved. He knew that at least Auron would not have taken part in that kind of prank-
"You - are so - gullible!!" Auron gasped out hoarsely, lifting his head and shaking with silent laughter. "Just like when you were a kid!"
And also, some writing in the as-of-yet unfinished second chapter of the PA Mary-Sues saga..
“What are they doing?”
“I dunno, I can’t see-Hey! It’s the arch-traitors!”
“Isn’t that their OC with them? The girl with the tunic… Shouldn’t she be one of us? I mean, she’s-“
“-shut up, they’re doing something and I can’t-“
“Hey, that looks like-DUCK!!”
“Blast!” cursed Talasin as quietly as she could, lowering her giant bazooka and pushing up her goggles. “They saw me.”
Crystal cocked her head sympathetically, and then quirked it again toward the Sues/fangirls. A strip of cloth was tied around her mouth, held down by several layers of duct tape plastered over her cheeks. Every few minutes something sounding like “baka,” or “kami-sama,” emerged with muffled malice.
“Go ahead,” Talasin whispered, uncorking a small vial with her teeth as she used her free hand to push more bullets into her gun.
“Why are we whispering? They know where we are,” said Tidus, using normal volume.
“It’s more dramatic, Tidus,” said Oredne evenly, wielding her weapon of choice.
Tidus glanced at it and sighed. He didn’t know how anyone could talk about the need for drama while holding a giant red button saying “Flames.” He glanced at Crystal again. Black stripes were painted on her cheeks-or more realistically, what you could see of her cheeks in the spaces between duct tape. He began to speak, then stopped, then started again.
“Why is Crystal having issues with speaking random Japanese words when Talasin isn’t?” he asked, finally.
“I am too having issues! I’m just able to keep them down more easily!” Talasin protested, indignant.
“Why?”
“Because Crystal’s more of a Sue than me,” Talasin said smugly. A sharp elbow rammed into her side. “OW!” What I mean is, Crystal is naturally more inclined to Suedom because of what she actually looks like. Crystal is already a relatively Sue-ish name, and genetics made her skinny with blonde hair and blue eyes. The proximity of those fangirls is overriding her instinctive refusal to speak fangirl Japanese. And I’m writing the story, so there.”
Tidus raised his eyebrows and looked away. Smart-Crystal was bad enough, but Smart-Talasin honestly freaked him out.
“What do you mean, I’m more Sue-ish?” Crystal demanded, tugging the gag down. She whacked Talasin around the head with both of her hands. “Miss Half-Asian?!” Miss DARK HAIRED PALE SKINNED!” She launched a full-scale attack.
“HEY!” Talasin protested ineffectually, trying with little success to shield herself from the blows Crystal was raining onto her head. “I just said-“
“I heard what you said, BAKA--- AAAAAH!”
“SEE! IT’S TRUE! YOU ARE! AND I HAVE FRECKLES ANYWAY, SO IT DOESN’T APPLY! HAHAHAHA--- hack cough splutter croak,” Talasin finished off, speaking the sound effects unnecessarily as she coughed.
“Shut up,” Crystal muttered.
“Why did they never attack before?” Tidus asked reasonably, or as reasonably as he could when hiding from crazed fangirls behind layers of sandbags in front of a dimensionally unstable and enormous building with doors that led in and out of the same room, etc, with some other crazed fangirls and a figment of their imagination.
All three of them looked dodgy. Except for Oredne, though, because she’s too cool to look dodgy. Normally that would be Mary-Sue-ish, but Oredne is a figment of imagination and too cool for any of the guys in the Patricide Association anyway so it doesn’t matter.
“Well…”
“You see…”
“We’re bringing in more people,” Oredne said concisely.
“Oredne! You’re not supposed to tell him anything! That’s what he’s for!”
“What-“
“You mean he’s here for not telling anything?”
“Well, of course, why else?”
“I thought it was because we both admire his strength of character as well as his charming looks.”
“Oh, well, that too of course-“
“And what about the whole killing of fathers thing?”
“That’s why it’s the Patricide Association, Crystal. Honestly, don’t you pay attention to things?”
“So we’ve got him here not so we can not tell him things, but because he’s hot and emotionally diverse and killed his daddy?”
“No!”
“Well, then, why?”
“Oh, shut up-“
“YOU shut up-“
“Both of you shut up, or I will lock you in a closet with a bunch of extremely overweight women in bikinis,” Oredne said, with dangerous calmness.
Both of the girls recoiled and wisely closed their mouths.
“Who?” Tidus asked, blinking. Of course, this is a natural body instinct and people don’t normally blink on purpose even when confronted with surprising or disturbing news. However, since Tidus is not, in fact, in the real world, this is irrelevant. So shut up.
“You wouldn’t know them,” Talasin said, rallying valiantly around her view that Tidus should never be told anything.