(no subject)
So, tonight's my last night in Sydney before I head home for the winter holidays. Most of my coursemates/hostelmates have flown off, and I'm one of the few left here to soak up the quiet atmosphere and whatever sights and sounds I can of Sydney.
I won't say that the entire semester has flown at an incredible speed. It did during the weeks of normal curriculum time, but time positively crawled during the examinations. That period of time (just a week ago, now that i think about it) was the time when many people cracked under the pressure. For the first time, I had a 'breakdown' - started having doubts about my abilities, losing faith in myself to run the race to the end. Fortunately, what made me pick myself up somehow or another was nothing but drive/willpower and self-motivation. There were times when I cried/teared when receiving handwritten letters in the mail, looking at photos thinking and remembering about past years in Singapore, friends, family etc. Vet school is more tough than i ever imagined.
After I came to Sydney, I realised countless things about myself - what is really important to me. I see some people who are more suited towards university style, and others (like me) who really miss the JC days where the culture is less independent, and the community more close-knit. I feel i am no longer the naïve, wayward, narrow-minded girl in JC who was just content with living day to day; somehow something has changed, though I can’t put a finger on what it is. But anyway, the few months here haven’t been easy - I didn’t realize how bloody much I would miss Singapore, my pals and family. Being overseas makes you bond with people you normally can’t and wouldn’t bond with, and sometimes it shows clearly and you suffer from it. There were many times when I got angry, frustrated, depressed about things because I felt so restricted. And then I realized, it’s up to me to change my own circumstances - go out, broaden my horizons, and not be afraid to take a leap of faith. I can't keep comparing myself with other people and feel inferior, I have to count my blessings and learn to find happiness with whatever i have. But all in all, I did make some pretty awesome friends, and had a blast :)
Now, every time i see or hear an aeroplane in the sky, something stirs within me - and i realize how a plane trip can bring someone to a new place, new people, new life altogether; or bring someone back to places which hold so many irreplaceable memories for him/her. As it does for me. :)