001 | [voice] when irish eyes are smiling

[intottenham]

From one fuckin' shithole to the next. Jeezus.

What's this then? They never painted heaven and hell and purgatory and that as a boat before. Pretty sure I'd remember the ol' cunt Father Connolly mentionin' that in his sermon: 'thy whole body should be cast into hell, which, by the by, is a fuckin' cruise ship'.

[A moment of hesitation. Unsure

Comments

[victimofnoone]

Wow. You're like, a whole new breed of offensive.

[intottenham]

I broke t'fuckin' mould, kiddo.

[victimofnoone]

Is that-- Are you even speaking English?

[intottenham]

Do I sound fuckin' English? No. Irish is a whole ot'er fuckin' language, isn't it.

[victimofnoone]

..Apparently.

I would ask if all Irish are this offensive? But Paddy isn't, so.. what's your excuse?

[intottenham]

Ah. See, wit' a name like that, you'd t'ink he was as Irish as they come. Ain't always the case though, ey? Y'just ain't been meetin' the right sorta Irish.

[victimofnoone]

And you think you are the "right sort?"

[intottenham]

Fuck no. I ain't the right sorta anyt'in'.

What's yer name, girly?

[victimofnoone]

At least we agree on something.

Hayley. What about you, champ?

[intottenham]

Ray.

Been here long?

private;

[victimofnoone]

You're obviously an inmate Tell me how you died and I'll tell you how long I've been here.

private;

[intottenham]

I might be one o' them warden types. Not strikin' you as the lordy lordy sort?

private;

[victimofnoone]

Wardens always know where this is and why they're here. Don't take it personally. It's not like you could have known.

So, come on. How'd you die?

private;

[intottenham]

Ah. 'course they do.

[Awkward pause. It feels too soon to be discussing this.] Shot. You?

private;

[victimofnoone]

Do you want how long I've been here or how I died? You only get one or the other.

private;

[intottenham]

Why do I only get one or the other?