Sudbury School Stories Intro and #1 - Carmen (Sideways Stories from Wayside School parody)
Based on the book "Sideways Stories from Wayside School" by Louis Sachar
Introduction
This stapled-paper shameless-parody "book" contains 30 stories about the students and staff at the Hudson Valley Sudbury School. But before we tell you these stories you should probably know this:
The Hudson Valley Sudbury School is not a normal school. There are no classes, no classrooms, and no periods. Kids do (almost) whatever they want with their free time.
It can be said that these stories are really fucked up. That is most likely true. But if I told the students at Sudbury stories of public schools, they would think YOU was fucked up. That is also probably true.
1: Carmen
Carmen had a brown bob hairdo and liked to sing. She was the newest staff member at the Hudson Valley Sudbury School.
"If you are bad", she said, "Instead of going to JC, I'll do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, and turn you into pillows!" Carmen didn't hate children, but she liked pillows more.
Emmet and Otto couldn't read. They didn't know that the sign said "No food in the computer room". They brought Reeses into the computer room.
One day Carmen caught them. She danced around the room, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Emmet and Otto into pillows.
"That's not fair!", Thor said. "They can't read"
Carmen danced around the room, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Thor into a pillow.
Carmen walked away into the Blackboard room. She saw Emma spraying air freshener across the room.
'Rule 5.38, Smelly Sprays!", Carmen shouted. She danced around, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Emma into a pillow.
"That's not fair, this room smells terrible!", Jacob said. He opened a window to try and waft the smell out.
"Opening a window in the winter without PPC permission!", Carmen said. She danced around, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Jacob into a pillow.
Evan and Morgan were too scared to do anything. Soren didn't care. He hated people, but liked pillows.
For the rest of the day, all of the students behaved. Jeff was suprised there were no JC reports the next day.
But Emmet, Otto, Thor, Emma, and Jacob couldn't go home. They were pillows. They could talk to each other, but there's not much to say when you just sit around on the couch. Their parents were very worried.
The next day, Zack K and Zach R were late for school. Carmen turned them into pillows.
Onion sneezed on Soren. He was turned into a pillow.
Oak said "God bless you!" when Onion sneezed. He was turned into a pillow.
Zack L, the attendance clerk, walked into school late. He looked around at all the pillows on the couches.
"Well, it looks like Carmen bought us more pillows! How nice" He walked away to go to Hurley Ridge.
The next day, all the students had been turned into pillows. Carmen was very happy.
"Now I can decorate the school", she said.
"PILLOW FIGHT!", Collin shouted. He jumped off the couch and hit Carmen in the face. The rest of the students-turned-pillows followed suit.
"Stop, or I'll write you up!", Carmen said. But there was nothing she could do. Nobody could write up pillows.
There was only one thing she could do. She dropped to the floor, kissed the wall, danced around the room, and turned all the pillows back into students.
The next day, the students all voted Carmen off of the staff.
"That's it!", she said. "I'm turning you back into pillows!"
But all the students entered the Mirror Room just in time, and Carmen herself was turned into a pillow.
Zack L walked into the Mirror Room. "Where's Carmen?", he asked.
None of the students answered.
"Well, I'm tired. I'll sit on this pillow"
Zack L took the pillow that was really Carmen, tossed it on the floor, and sat on it.
Introduction
This stapled-paper shameless-parody "book" contains 30 stories about the students and staff at the Hudson Valley Sudbury School. But before we tell you these stories you should probably know this:
The Hudson Valley Sudbury School is not a normal school. There are no classes, no classrooms, and no periods. Kids do (almost) whatever they want with their free time.
It can be said that these stories are really fucked up. That is most likely true. But if I told the students at Sudbury stories of public schools, they would think YOU was fucked up. That is also probably true.
1: Carmen
Carmen had a brown bob hairdo and liked to sing. She was the newest staff member at the Hudson Valley Sudbury School.
"If you are bad", she said, "Instead of going to JC, I'll do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, and turn you into pillows!" Carmen didn't hate children, but she liked pillows more.
Emmet and Otto couldn't read. They didn't know that the sign said "No food in the computer room". They brought Reeses into the computer room.
One day Carmen caught them. She danced around the room, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Emmet and Otto into pillows.
"That's not fair!", Thor said. "They can't read"
Carmen danced around the room, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Thor into a pillow.
Carmen walked away into the Blackboard room. She saw Emma spraying air freshener across the room.
'Rule 5.38, Smelly Sprays!", Carmen shouted. She danced around, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Emma into a pillow.
"That's not fair, this room smells terrible!", Jacob said. He opened a window to try and waft the smell out.
"Opening a window in the winter without PPC permission!", Carmen said. She danced around, kissed the wall, fell on the floor, and turned Jacob into a pillow.
Evan and Morgan were too scared to do anything. Soren didn't care. He hated people, but liked pillows.
For the rest of the day, all of the students behaved. Jeff was suprised there were no JC reports the next day.
But Emmet, Otto, Thor, Emma, and Jacob couldn't go home. They were pillows. They could talk to each other, but there's not much to say when you just sit around on the couch. Their parents were very worried.
The next day, Zack K and Zach R were late for school. Carmen turned them into pillows.
Onion sneezed on Soren. He was turned into a pillow.
Oak said "God bless you!" when Onion sneezed. He was turned into a pillow.
Zack L, the attendance clerk, walked into school late. He looked around at all the pillows on the couches.
"Well, it looks like Carmen bought us more pillows! How nice" He walked away to go to Hurley Ridge.
The next day, all the students had been turned into pillows. Carmen was very happy.
"Now I can decorate the school", she said.
"PILLOW FIGHT!", Collin shouted. He jumped off the couch and hit Carmen in the face. The rest of the students-turned-pillows followed suit.
"Stop, or I'll write you up!", Carmen said. But there was nothing she could do. Nobody could write up pillows.
There was only one thing she could do. She dropped to the floor, kissed the wall, danced around the room, and turned all the pillows back into students.
The next day, the students all voted Carmen off of the staff.
"That's it!", she said. "I'm turning you back into pillows!"
But all the students entered the Mirror Room just in time, and Carmen herself was turned into a pillow.
Zack L walked into the Mirror Room. "Where's Carmen?", he asked.
None of the students answered.
"Well, I'm tired. I'll sit on this pillow"
Zack L took the pillow that was really Carmen, tossed it on the floor, and sat on it.