(no subject)

[intothelight]

today i filled out an application to work in a little bookstore near champaign, and for the first time ever on an application, i wrote that i wanted to work forty hours a week. no conflicts, no upcoming vacations, and i filled out all the short-answer questions with all the honesty i had. talked about words and passion and ideas. when i turned it in, the boy behind the counter was laughing with a girl, and he turned to me still smiling and as he took it we said thank you so much at the same time. when i walked out i whispered to myself i wanna work with him and i got so excited and hopeful. i want to get an apartment downtown that will be big enough to fit my futon, and my bookshelves. i want to work every day at the bookstore and laugh behind the counter and say ooh when people want me to ring up books i love. one time a few years ago i was shopping there, and a mom was looking for a book for her daughter, but she couldn't think of the name of it. the employee was trying to figure it out, and i finally said it's not a wrinkle in time, is it? and it was.

i'm just so happy to be moving to champaign. i get so excited when people are creative and fierce and funny and do things themselves. when they write stories and sing songs and photocopy and paint and make things happen. bring color and noise to the world. and i want to be part of that and i want to be right there in the thick of it. i'm excited. sometime back in august, mark and i were talking about the future and he said i just wanna get you through this semester and i was all snorts and shrugs but now i see what he means. i want out out out. papers and assignments and art projects that aren't required for graduation what? today i started looking for apartments and today i turned in the job application i will pray over.