Almost-promise
Almost-promise (PG)
Yoochun/Junsu
3286 words
For yijieeee, I'm sorry the promised fluff ended up angsty in the end but still, I uh, tried my best? ♥
"Abandoning me after I've fallen madly in love with you, Mr Park?" Junsu says lightly.
(FIRST POSTED HERE)
almost-promise
(1)
Where the hell did it go to? Junsu wonders, opening his locker in a futile search for his textbook.
He balances his stack of notebooks on his thigh, pressing his knee against the locker below him, and sticks his head into the locker.
"Are you sure you won't get stuck?" Someone asks, and Junsu bangs his head on the roof of the locker in shock.
"Told you," The mysterious person says, and Junsu carefully extricates his head out before whirling around to face the stranger.
The stranger has warm eyes and a bright smile. "You were blocking my locker," he gestures to the locker Junsu was resting his knee on.
"Sorry," Junsu says automatically before narrowing his eyes. "And I didn't get stuck, by the way."
The stranger shrugs. "You would have if I didn't warn you."
"And how would you know?" Junsu snaps.
Stranger Boy moves towards Junsu. Junsu reflexively takes a step backwards, and bangs his head against the lockers.
He winces. Stranger Boy stifles a laugh.
"You know, it's the first time I've ever disliked someone." Junsu comments. "And that person being a stranger whom I don't even know."
Stranger Boy grins, turns and walks away. Junsu glares at his backview.
"The name's Park Yoochun, by the way," Stranger Boy calls out, raising his right hand and doing a peace sign.
"Correction," Junsu mutters. "Really, really hated someone."
Park Yoochun vanishes into the crowd of students, but somehow his smile is imprinted into Junsu's mind.
Junsu stalks off to class, dumps all his books (except the missing textbook) onto the empty seat beside him and sits down in a huff.
His best friend, Changmin, pokes his neck with a ruler.
"What?" Junsu says irritably, turning around to face Changmin.
Changmin ignores Junsu's tone of voice. "Did you hear? There's a new boy joining our class."
"I don't -" Junsu starts to say, but the sound of their teacher clearing her throat makes him turn back to face the front again.
Park Yoochun is standing beside the teacher smiling.
Junsu can hear the murmurs from the girls in his class. He doesn't need to look to know that there are pulsating hearts in their eyes.
His eyes meet Yoochun's, and he looks away immediately.
"Annyeong," Yoochun says brightly. "I'm Park Yoochun, and I was from the United States."
"Awww," the girls coo.
Junsu glares at his desk, folding his arms.
"Now, Yoochun-sshi, go and pick a seat."
Of course, he has to be an exception. Females. Junsu rolls his eyes.
The sound of a chair scraping next to him makes Junsu look in its direction.
"Hi," Yoochun says peaceably. He points at Junsu's books on the chair. "Do you mind clearing that for me? Thanks."
Junsu gives him a measured stare before putting his books under his desk.
"Thank you," Yoochun smiles.
Junsu ignores him.
"Now, Junsu-sshi, help Yoochun-sshi get used to school, won't you?" His teacher beams at Yoochun.
"Of course." Junsu says stonily.
"Thanks, Junsu-sshi." Yoochun says, eyes sparkling.
The teacher starts her lesson, and Junsu continues to ignore Yoochun.
"So, Mr Clumsy, your name is Junsu?"
"So what if it is, Mr Irritating?"
"How sweet, we have nicknames for each other."
Junsu seeths, looking in Yoochun's direction.
"Finally looking at me, are you, Mr Clumsy?" Yoochun smirks.
"Go away."
"No."
Junsu stabs his pen viciously into imaginary Park Yoochun (his notebook). "Why the hell not?"
"Because you're fun."
"I'm not your personal entertainment."
"You're not? I had the assumption you were."
"I am not."
"You will be, at any rate."
"Of course, Lord Yoochun," Junsu says sarcastically.
Yoochun smiles. "Told you."
Junsu somehow resists the urge to strangle Yoochun.
Changmin hops up to Junsu after school.
"The new boy's cute, isn't he?" Changmin says conversationally.
Junsu shoots him a weird look. "Park Yoochun?" He confirms.
"Yeah."
Junsu stops walking and Changmin bumps into him.
"What the -" Changmin starts to say, but Junsu grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him.
"Is your mind cleared up now?" Junsu asks.
"Um." Changmin nods, dizzy.
"Good, because Park Yoochun is anything but cute." Junsu jabs Changmin's chest with each word and flounces off.
(2)
It's probably because he didn't go to Mass last Sunday, Junsu decides.
I'll go to Mass every Sunday, just please God, let Park Yoochun vanish forever, Junsu promises as Yoochun taps a ruler against his desk rhythmically.
He closes his eyes, folds his arms onto the table and lets his head fall.
"Teacher," He hears Yoochun call.
Junsu furrows his forehead. Apparently his pleas to God weren't working, because Yoochun was still there.
"I don't think Junsu-sshi is feeling well. How about I take him to the nurse's office?"
Junsu sits up and stares at Yoochun, who is smiling sweetly at the teacher, who melts right in front of the entire class. Along, of course, with every girl sitting in the classroom.
"Of course, Yoochun-sshi." The teacher nods a few times, her eyes transforming into cartoon-like hearts.
"I am feeling perfectly all right." Junsu snaps, mentally picturing bashing Yoochun's face into the desk.
Yoochun shakes his head sympatethically. "And it's perfectly all right to be sick once in a while, Junsu-sshi, you don't have to be so strong. Everyone gets sick."
"Yes, that's right, Yoochun-sshi." The teacher agrees. "Junsu-sshi, go to the nurse's office to get some rest."
"I-" Junsu starts to protest, but Yoochun cuts him off by placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Junsu-sshi, if you're feeling so weak you can't walk, I can carry you." Yoochun offers while the girls in their class whisper about how sweet and caring Yoochun-sshi is.
"I can walk by myself." Junsu snarls, and stalks out of class with Yoochun following behind him.
The moment they are out of sight and hearing range, Junsu whirls around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Junsu says dangerously.
Yoochun shrugs, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms. "Just thought you looked a bit peaky."
"I am fine." Junsu says. "If there's anything wrong with me it's because of your existence."
When Yoochun smirks, his eyes have a wicked glimmer. "So you do acknowledge my existence?"
Junsu lets out a breath in indignation. "Well, judging from your incessant tapping of your various stationeries on your desk, constant shifty-eyed looks at me, and tossing bits of paper at me, how could I not acknowledge your existence?"
Yoochun seems amused by Junsu's ranting. "And why do you think I'm doing that?"
"I have no idea." Junsu dismisses. "And I'm not going to waste time thinking about that. Or you."
Yoochun grins. "I told you you were my personal entertainment, didn't I?"
Junsu presses his lips together into a line. "Well, I was under the assumption that it was because you hate me." When Yoochun opens his mouth, Junsu adds on, "As much as I hate you."
Yoochun's smile disappears. "If I were you, Junsu-sshi," Yoochun says. "I'd read the bits of paper."
Yoochun turns around and walks off with his hands in his pockets, leaving Junsu staring after him.
Yoochun doesn't come back to class the entire day.
"What did you do to that Yoochun kid?" Changmin asks. "He just... disappeared, after you went off to the nurse's office with him."
Junsu shrugs. "He went off before we even reached the office. Guess he was just using it as an excuse to skip school."
Changmin frowns. "Nah, he doesn't seem the type."
"Ha." Junsu snorts, picking up his schoolbag and slinging it over one shoulder. "School's ended, aren't you going to get going?"
Changmin stares pensively at the table until someone calls, "Hey, Changmin-ah!"
Both of them turn.
"Yunho!" Changmin says, getting up and walking over. "Bye, Junsu!"
Junsu waves, smiling at the pair's bickering and laughter.
If I were you, Junsu-sshi, I'd read the bits of paper.
Junsu eyes the rolled-up balls of paper he'd deposited onto the floor, then sighs, picks them up, and reads them.
(3)
Yoochun still isn't in school, and Junsu gives a frustrated sigh and rubs his forehead.
"Didn't get any sleep last night?" Changmin asks.
"All thanks to that crazy bastard and his bits of paper." Junsu mutters.
Changmin is wise enough not to probe any further, leaving Junsu to his sighing, self-muttering and forehead-rubbing.
When Junsu walks out of the school gates, Yoochun is there.
"Did you skip school?" Junsu accuses.
"Did you miss me?" Yoochun smiles.
Junsu flushes, even though he doesn't exactly know why. "No way." He argues back lamely.
"You read the papers, didn't you?" Yoochun says.
The sun is setting, its orange glow burning around the edges of Yoochun. Junsu has a strange feeling like Yoochun is brighter than the Sun, but quickly puts it off to the lack of sleep.
"I didn't." Junsu lies, even though the papers were what prevented him from sleeping last night.
"You're lying." Yoochun says. "I can see it in your eyes - you read them."
Junsu shifs uncomfortably. "So what if I did?"
"Then you're supposed to give me an answer."
"I'm not supposed to do anything." Junsu says.
Yoochun raises his eyebrows. "It's called manners, Junsu-sshi."
Junsu is trying to think of a perfect rebuttal to that statement when Yoochun moves forward and presses his lips to Junsu's.
Junsu blinks, closes his eyes, opens his eyes and pushes Yoochun away.
"What the hell?" Junsu yells, swiping a hand against his mouth.
"Think about your answer." Yoochun grins, does a peace sign, and runs away.
Maybe it was due to Junsu rubbing his lips reapetedly, because they have a strange burning sensation.
Then again, as Junsu watches Yoochun run, he thinks, maybe not.
Junsu suffers another night of insomnia as he reads each note over and over again (You know, you're cute when you're frustrated with me; Acknowledge my existence, won't you?; Talk to me!!)
(Junsu-yah, I think I might like you; Go out with me?)
(4)
"You know, Junsu," Changmin says. "Your eyebags are getting worse and worse. What the hell are you doing every night?"
Junsu shakes his head tiredly. "You don't want to know."
"Hopefully, thinking of a reply?" Yoochun appears, sliding into his seat next to Junsu.
"There isn't any suitable reply." Junsu snaps. "Not to that kind of question."
"What kind of question?" Changmin asks, curiosity evident in his voice.
"None of your business," Junsu says fiercely, as Yoochun tells him, "You'll know soon."
Changmin beams, content, and goes back to doing his homework.
"For someone who's intent on me going out with him, you're being very annoying, you know." Junsu whispers heatedly to Yoochun.
"Don't you watch any TV?" Yoochun shoots back. "That's all the content in the dramas these days."
Junsu groans and clamps his hands over his ears.
It rains. Changmin is off with Yunho somewhere, and Junsu sighs and glares at the sky.
"Need a ride?" A familiar voice says.
"More like an umbrella."
"That's me." Yoochun grins. "One portable umbrella, at your service."
He sticks his hands over Junsu's head, and Junsu can't help but laugh at the ridiculous action.
"The best umbrella of all time," Junsu says dryly.
"Invented by Lord Yoochun." Yoochun smiles, and Junsu rolls his eyes and smiles back.
Yoochun rummages in his bag before producing a red umbrella. "Ta-da."
Yoochun insists on walking Junsu home, and Junsu doesn't decline (maybe because he needs the umbrella, maybe not).
Outside Junsu's house, Yoochun hands the umbrella to Junsu, grabs Junsu's shoulders and kisses him.
"Do you have a reply yet?" Yoochun asks.
Junsu throws a paper ball at him, then runs upstairs back home.
In his room, he watches Yoochun pick up the note and unroll it.
"Junsu-yah!" His mother calls, and he turns.
"Oh, nothing, I've found it already." His mother smiles in apology and leaves.
When Junsu turns back to the window, Yoochun is gone.
(5)
Junsu never liked the weepy Korean drama serials, but he ends up spending his Sunday watching them with his mother.
"Are all the dramas like that?" Junsu asks, as his mother sobs into a Kleenex.
"Like what?" His mother asks between sniffling.
"You know, the guy and the girl argue and then they fall in love?"
"I guess."
"Do they all die?" Junsu says suspiciously.
"Not both of them. Just one." His mother wails, and Junsu decides that he really doesn't like weepy Korean drama serials.
At night, someone throws rocks at his window.
Junsu goes to look, and says, "What is this, Romeo and Juliet?"
"Nope, it's Yoochun and Junsu." Yoochun yells, cupping his hands around his mouth.
"Shh, everyone's going to hear!" Junsu laughs. "And does that mean we're both going to die in the end?"
"Nah, not both of us." Yoochun shakes his head. "Good night!"
Yoochun races off into the night, and Junsu does a peace sign.
(6)
Yoochun isn't in school again, so Junsu manages to get Yoochun's address from one of the stalker girls in his class.
The door opens, and a guy looking a little older than him and Yoochun asks, "Who are you looking for?"
"Y-Yoochun." Junsu stutters. The guy is a bit too pretty to be a guy, what with his large eyes, porcelain skin and perfect features.
"Yoochun's at the hospital." He says. "Do you want to come in for a seat until he gets back?"
Junsu nods, and steps in nervously. The door shuts behind them.
"I'm Jaejoong, Yoochun's brother." Jaejoong calls as he walks into the kitchen. "Have a seat."
Junsu sits on the sofa, watching Jaejoong re-appear with a glass of water.
"Why is Yoochun at the hospital?" Junsu asks carefully.
"You don't know?" Jaejoong looks surprised. "Yoochun's sick."
"Oh," Junsu says dumbly. "With what?"
"Severe heart problem." Jaejoong states matter-of-factly, observing Junsu's change of expression with a wry smile.
Junsu's hands are shaking, the water splashing out of the glass and dripping onto his jeans. "Is he going to -"
"Die?" Jaejoong finishes. "If he doesn't manage to get a suitable donor for a transplant in a week, yes."
"Then why isn't he in the hospital?" Junsu demands. "Why is he still going to school? Shouldn't he be resting?"
"My brother says he's sick of being cooped up in the hospital. He transferred over to your school because the work load was lighter, compared to the prestigious high school he was studying in before."
"And you just listen to him? He needs treatment! You're his brother, for God's sake, and you just let him do whatever he wants?" Junsu shouts.
The door flies open, and Yoochun walks inside, grabs Junsu's hand and tugs him outside.
The weather is turning frosty, and Junsu breathes in white puffs of air that float around the two of them.
"It's not anyone's fault except mine." Yoochun tells him. "It was my choice."
"Yoochun, I don't understand!" Junsu bursts out. "Why?"
"I just wanted to be normal for the last few weeks of my life." Yoochun's voice is soft. "Make new friends. Fall in love."
"You can do all those things after you recover." Junsu says, his voice shivering and his heart cold.
"I'm not going to recover." Yoochun smiles faintly. "I knew it from the start."
Junsu's throat is tight. "You can't decide your own death just like that."
"You can if you're me - Lord Yoochun, remember?" Yoochun teases, and Junsu's vision blurs.
"And you can still joke around!" Junsu yells. "I'm taking you to the hospital right now!"
Yoochun's hand flies out to grip Junsu's arm. "Junsu, please, be reasonable."
"You're the bloody unreasonable one!" The tears spill, and Junsu hits Yoochun's chest when Yoochun hugs him.
Yoochun murmurs, "I never said I wasn't."
"And you're," Junsu shudders. "You're leaving me behind without a fight."
"You were fine before meeting me."
"You say that after irritating me, writing love notes to me and making me fall in love with you?"
Their third kiss tastes of salt and loneliness.
(7)
"I'm going to listen to you and go to the hospital," Yoochun says over the phone. "If you come and visit everyday."
Junsu brings flowers, bright yellow sunflowers because they make him feel happy like Yoochun does.
"How are you?" Junsu asks, sitting in the chair beside Yoochun's bed.
"Fine, like always." Yoochun rolls his eyes. "Really, I am feeling perfectly all right."
"And it's perfectly all right to be sick once in a while, Yoochun-sshi, you don't have to be so strong. Everyone gets sick." Junsu pokes Yoochun's ribs.
"I've been sick a long while." Yoochun says, "But whenever you feel weak, I can still carry you."
(8)
Jaejoong says, "Don't get your hopes high."
"They were always high in the first place," Junsu answers determinedly. "Yoochun is going to live."
Jaejoong is silent for a long time, then he smiles. "I can see why Yoochun loves you."
Yoochun says, "Don't get your hopes high."
"Abandoning me after I've fallen madly in love with you, Mr Park?" Junsu says lightly.
"I would never if I was given a choice." Yoochun tucks a sunflower behind Junsu's ear and grins.
The doctor says, "Don't get your hopes high."
Junsu wants to tell him, if you don't heal Yoochun I am going to skin you alive, but instead he says, "Please."
(9)
When Yoochun's heart stops beating for a minute, Junsu stops breathing, too.
After that, when the doctors resuscitate him and Yoochun opens his eyes, Junsu hits him.
"Ow," Yoochun's voice is thin, weak. "Is that any way to treat a patient?"
"Don't scare me again," Junsu's eyes are still red from crying. "Don't leave me."
Yoochun doesn't answer, just curls his hand tighter around Junsu's.
(10)
"Do you think it would have been better if we hadn't met?" Yoochun asks out of the blue, the Sun glinting off his hair.
"Do you?" Junsu shoots back.
"If it would stop you from getting hurt when I go," Yoochun says. "Then yes."
Junsu swallows. "You're not going anywhere without me, right?"
Yoochun's answering smile is so soft it robs Junsu of his breathing.
"Junsu-yah, I love you, you know that, right?"
"What's wrong with you? You've been asking random questions all day." Junsu narrows his eyes.
"Forever." Yoochun continues.
"Me, too." Junsu squeezes Yoochun's hand reassuringly.
But Yoochun shakes his head, his eyes hollow. "Just until," Yoochun says. "Until I die. Promise?"
Junsu turns his head away. "You're being silly."
Yoochun hums a melody, soft and melancholy.
The dread snakes around Junsu like ropes, tightening until his fingers tremble and his heart hurts.
(11)
The tears eat Junsu's heart up until there's nothing left, so in a way, he fulfilled his almost-promise with Yoochun.
FIRST POSTED HERE
Yoochun/Junsu
3286 words
For yijieeee, I'm sorry the promised fluff ended up angsty in the end but still, I uh, tried my best? ♥
"Abandoning me after I've fallen madly in love with you, Mr Park?" Junsu says lightly.
(FIRST POSTED HERE)
almost-promise
(1)
Where the hell did it go to? Junsu wonders, opening his locker in a futile search for his textbook.
He balances his stack of notebooks on his thigh, pressing his knee against the locker below him, and sticks his head into the locker.
"Are you sure you won't get stuck?" Someone asks, and Junsu bangs his head on the roof of the locker in shock.
"Told you," The mysterious person says, and Junsu carefully extricates his head out before whirling around to face the stranger.
The stranger has warm eyes and a bright smile. "You were blocking my locker," he gestures to the locker Junsu was resting his knee on.
"Sorry," Junsu says automatically before narrowing his eyes. "And I didn't get stuck, by the way."
The stranger shrugs. "You would have if I didn't warn you."
"And how would you know?" Junsu snaps.
Stranger Boy moves towards Junsu. Junsu reflexively takes a step backwards, and bangs his head against the lockers.
He winces. Stranger Boy stifles a laugh.
"You know, it's the first time I've ever disliked someone." Junsu comments. "And that person being a stranger whom I don't even know."
Stranger Boy grins, turns and walks away. Junsu glares at his backview.
"The name's Park Yoochun, by the way," Stranger Boy calls out, raising his right hand and doing a peace sign.
"Correction," Junsu mutters. "Really, really hated someone."
Park Yoochun vanishes into the crowd of students, but somehow his smile is imprinted into Junsu's mind.
Junsu stalks off to class, dumps all his books (except the missing textbook) onto the empty seat beside him and sits down in a huff.
His best friend, Changmin, pokes his neck with a ruler.
"What?" Junsu says irritably, turning around to face Changmin.
Changmin ignores Junsu's tone of voice. "Did you hear? There's a new boy joining our class."
"I don't -" Junsu starts to say, but the sound of their teacher clearing her throat makes him turn back to face the front again.
Park Yoochun is standing beside the teacher smiling.
Junsu can hear the murmurs from the girls in his class. He doesn't need to look to know that there are pulsating hearts in their eyes.
His eyes meet Yoochun's, and he looks away immediately.
"Annyeong," Yoochun says brightly. "I'm Park Yoochun, and I was from the United States."
"Awww," the girls coo.
Junsu glares at his desk, folding his arms.
"Now, Yoochun-sshi, go and pick a seat."
Of course, he has to be an exception. Females. Junsu rolls his eyes.
The sound of a chair scraping next to him makes Junsu look in its direction.
"Hi," Yoochun says peaceably. He points at Junsu's books on the chair. "Do you mind clearing that for me? Thanks."
Junsu gives him a measured stare before putting his books under his desk.
"Thank you," Yoochun smiles.
Junsu ignores him.
"Now, Junsu-sshi, help Yoochun-sshi get used to school, won't you?" His teacher beams at Yoochun.
"Of course." Junsu says stonily.
"Thanks, Junsu-sshi." Yoochun says, eyes sparkling.
The teacher starts her lesson, and Junsu continues to ignore Yoochun.
"So, Mr Clumsy, your name is Junsu?"
"So what if it is, Mr Irritating?"
"How sweet, we have nicknames for each other."
Junsu seeths, looking in Yoochun's direction.
"Finally looking at me, are you, Mr Clumsy?" Yoochun smirks.
"Go away."
"No."
Junsu stabs his pen viciously into imaginary Park Yoochun (his notebook). "Why the hell not?"
"Because you're fun."
"I'm not your personal entertainment."
"You're not? I had the assumption you were."
"I am not."
"You will be, at any rate."
"Of course, Lord Yoochun," Junsu says sarcastically.
Yoochun smiles. "Told you."
Junsu somehow resists the urge to strangle Yoochun.
Changmin hops up to Junsu after school.
"The new boy's cute, isn't he?" Changmin says conversationally.
Junsu shoots him a weird look. "Park Yoochun?" He confirms.
"Yeah."
Junsu stops walking and Changmin bumps into him.
"What the -" Changmin starts to say, but Junsu grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him.
"Is your mind cleared up now?" Junsu asks.
"Um." Changmin nods, dizzy.
"Good, because Park Yoochun is anything but cute." Junsu jabs Changmin's chest with each word and flounces off.
(2)
It's probably because he didn't go to Mass last Sunday, Junsu decides.
I'll go to Mass every Sunday, just please God, let Park Yoochun vanish forever, Junsu promises as Yoochun taps a ruler against his desk rhythmically.
He closes his eyes, folds his arms onto the table and lets his head fall.
"Teacher," He hears Yoochun call.
Junsu furrows his forehead. Apparently his pleas to God weren't working, because Yoochun was still there.
"I don't think Junsu-sshi is feeling well. How about I take him to the nurse's office?"
Junsu sits up and stares at Yoochun, who is smiling sweetly at the teacher, who melts right in front of the entire class. Along, of course, with every girl sitting in the classroom.
"Of course, Yoochun-sshi." The teacher nods a few times, her eyes transforming into cartoon-like hearts.
"I am feeling perfectly all right." Junsu snaps, mentally picturing bashing Yoochun's face into the desk.
Yoochun shakes his head sympatethically. "And it's perfectly all right to be sick once in a while, Junsu-sshi, you don't have to be so strong. Everyone gets sick."
"Yes, that's right, Yoochun-sshi." The teacher agrees. "Junsu-sshi, go to the nurse's office to get some rest."
"I-" Junsu starts to protest, but Yoochun cuts him off by placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Junsu-sshi, if you're feeling so weak you can't walk, I can carry you." Yoochun offers while the girls in their class whisper about how sweet and caring Yoochun-sshi is.
"I can walk by myself." Junsu snarls, and stalks out of class with Yoochun following behind him.
The moment they are out of sight and hearing range, Junsu whirls around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Junsu says dangerously.
Yoochun shrugs, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms. "Just thought you looked a bit peaky."
"I am fine." Junsu says. "If there's anything wrong with me it's because of your existence."
When Yoochun smirks, his eyes have a wicked glimmer. "So you do acknowledge my existence?"
Junsu lets out a breath in indignation. "Well, judging from your incessant tapping of your various stationeries on your desk, constant shifty-eyed looks at me, and tossing bits of paper at me, how could I not acknowledge your existence?"
Yoochun seems amused by Junsu's ranting. "And why do you think I'm doing that?"
"I have no idea." Junsu dismisses. "And I'm not going to waste time thinking about that. Or you."
Yoochun grins. "I told you you were my personal entertainment, didn't I?"
Junsu presses his lips together into a line. "Well, I was under the assumption that it was because you hate me." When Yoochun opens his mouth, Junsu adds on, "As much as I hate you."
Yoochun's smile disappears. "If I were you, Junsu-sshi," Yoochun says. "I'd read the bits of paper."
Yoochun turns around and walks off with his hands in his pockets, leaving Junsu staring after him.
Yoochun doesn't come back to class the entire day.
"What did you do to that Yoochun kid?" Changmin asks. "He just... disappeared, after you went off to the nurse's office with him."
Junsu shrugs. "He went off before we even reached the office. Guess he was just using it as an excuse to skip school."
Changmin frowns. "Nah, he doesn't seem the type."
"Ha." Junsu snorts, picking up his schoolbag and slinging it over one shoulder. "School's ended, aren't you going to get going?"
Changmin stares pensively at the table until someone calls, "Hey, Changmin-ah!"
Both of them turn.
"Yunho!" Changmin says, getting up and walking over. "Bye, Junsu!"
Junsu waves, smiling at the pair's bickering and laughter.
If I were you, Junsu-sshi, I'd read the bits of paper.
Junsu eyes the rolled-up balls of paper he'd deposited onto the floor, then sighs, picks them up, and reads them.
(3)
Yoochun still isn't in school, and Junsu gives a frustrated sigh and rubs his forehead.
"Didn't get any sleep last night?" Changmin asks.
"All thanks to that crazy bastard and his bits of paper." Junsu mutters.
Changmin is wise enough not to probe any further, leaving Junsu to his sighing, self-muttering and forehead-rubbing.
When Junsu walks out of the school gates, Yoochun is there.
"Did you skip school?" Junsu accuses.
"Did you miss me?" Yoochun smiles.
Junsu flushes, even though he doesn't exactly know why. "No way." He argues back lamely.
"You read the papers, didn't you?" Yoochun says.
The sun is setting, its orange glow burning around the edges of Yoochun. Junsu has a strange feeling like Yoochun is brighter than the Sun, but quickly puts it off to the lack of sleep.
"I didn't." Junsu lies, even though the papers were what prevented him from sleeping last night.
"You're lying." Yoochun says. "I can see it in your eyes - you read them."
Junsu shifs uncomfortably. "So what if I did?"
"Then you're supposed to give me an answer."
"I'm not supposed to do anything." Junsu says.
Yoochun raises his eyebrows. "It's called manners, Junsu-sshi."
Junsu is trying to think of a perfect rebuttal to that statement when Yoochun moves forward and presses his lips to Junsu's.
Junsu blinks, closes his eyes, opens his eyes and pushes Yoochun away.
"What the hell?" Junsu yells, swiping a hand against his mouth.
"Think about your answer." Yoochun grins, does a peace sign, and runs away.
Maybe it was due to Junsu rubbing his lips reapetedly, because they have a strange burning sensation.
Then again, as Junsu watches Yoochun run, he thinks, maybe not.
Junsu suffers another night of insomnia as he reads each note over and over again (You know, you're cute when you're frustrated with me; Acknowledge my existence, won't you?; Talk to me!!)
(Junsu-yah, I think I might like you; Go out with me?)
(4)
"You know, Junsu," Changmin says. "Your eyebags are getting worse and worse. What the hell are you doing every night?"
Junsu shakes his head tiredly. "You don't want to know."
"Hopefully, thinking of a reply?" Yoochun appears, sliding into his seat next to Junsu.
"There isn't any suitable reply." Junsu snaps. "Not to that kind of question."
"What kind of question?" Changmin asks, curiosity evident in his voice.
"None of your business," Junsu says fiercely, as Yoochun tells him, "You'll know soon."
Changmin beams, content, and goes back to doing his homework.
"For someone who's intent on me going out with him, you're being very annoying, you know." Junsu whispers heatedly to Yoochun.
"Don't you watch any TV?" Yoochun shoots back. "That's all the content in the dramas these days."
Junsu groans and clamps his hands over his ears.
It rains. Changmin is off with Yunho somewhere, and Junsu sighs and glares at the sky.
"Need a ride?" A familiar voice says.
"More like an umbrella."
"That's me." Yoochun grins. "One portable umbrella, at your service."
He sticks his hands over Junsu's head, and Junsu can't help but laugh at the ridiculous action.
"The best umbrella of all time," Junsu says dryly.
"Invented by Lord Yoochun." Yoochun smiles, and Junsu rolls his eyes and smiles back.
Yoochun rummages in his bag before producing a red umbrella. "Ta-da."
Yoochun insists on walking Junsu home, and Junsu doesn't decline (maybe because he needs the umbrella, maybe not).
Outside Junsu's house, Yoochun hands the umbrella to Junsu, grabs Junsu's shoulders and kisses him.
"Do you have a reply yet?" Yoochun asks.
Junsu throws a paper ball at him, then runs upstairs back home.
In his room, he watches Yoochun pick up the note and unroll it.
"Junsu-yah!" His mother calls, and he turns.
"Oh, nothing, I've found it already." His mother smiles in apology and leaves.
When Junsu turns back to the window, Yoochun is gone.
(5)
Junsu never liked the weepy Korean drama serials, but he ends up spending his Sunday watching them with his mother.
"Are all the dramas like that?" Junsu asks, as his mother sobs into a Kleenex.
"Like what?" His mother asks between sniffling.
"You know, the guy and the girl argue and then they fall in love?"
"I guess."
"Do they all die?" Junsu says suspiciously.
"Not both of them. Just one." His mother wails, and Junsu decides that he really doesn't like weepy Korean drama serials.
At night, someone throws rocks at his window.
Junsu goes to look, and says, "What is this, Romeo and Juliet?"
"Nope, it's Yoochun and Junsu." Yoochun yells, cupping his hands around his mouth.
"Shh, everyone's going to hear!" Junsu laughs. "And does that mean we're both going to die in the end?"
"Nah, not both of us." Yoochun shakes his head. "Good night!"
Yoochun races off into the night, and Junsu does a peace sign.
(6)
Yoochun isn't in school again, so Junsu manages to get Yoochun's address from one of the stalker girls in his class.
The door opens, and a guy looking a little older than him and Yoochun asks, "Who are you looking for?"
"Y-Yoochun." Junsu stutters. The guy is a bit too pretty to be a guy, what with his large eyes, porcelain skin and perfect features.
"Yoochun's at the hospital." He says. "Do you want to come in for a seat until he gets back?"
Junsu nods, and steps in nervously. The door shuts behind them.
"I'm Jaejoong, Yoochun's brother." Jaejoong calls as he walks into the kitchen. "Have a seat."
Junsu sits on the sofa, watching Jaejoong re-appear with a glass of water.
"Why is Yoochun at the hospital?" Junsu asks carefully.
"You don't know?" Jaejoong looks surprised. "Yoochun's sick."
"Oh," Junsu says dumbly. "With what?"
"Severe heart problem." Jaejoong states matter-of-factly, observing Junsu's change of expression with a wry smile.
Junsu's hands are shaking, the water splashing out of the glass and dripping onto his jeans. "Is he going to -"
"Die?" Jaejoong finishes. "If he doesn't manage to get a suitable donor for a transplant in a week, yes."
"Then why isn't he in the hospital?" Junsu demands. "Why is he still going to school? Shouldn't he be resting?"
"My brother says he's sick of being cooped up in the hospital. He transferred over to your school because the work load was lighter, compared to the prestigious high school he was studying in before."
"And you just listen to him? He needs treatment! You're his brother, for God's sake, and you just let him do whatever he wants?" Junsu shouts.
The door flies open, and Yoochun walks inside, grabs Junsu's hand and tugs him outside.
The weather is turning frosty, and Junsu breathes in white puffs of air that float around the two of them.
"It's not anyone's fault except mine." Yoochun tells him. "It was my choice."
"Yoochun, I don't understand!" Junsu bursts out. "Why?"
"I just wanted to be normal for the last few weeks of my life." Yoochun's voice is soft. "Make new friends. Fall in love."
"You can do all those things after you recover." Junsu says, his voice shivering and his heart cold.
"I'm not going to recover." Yoochun smiles faintly. "I knew it from the start."
Junsu's throat is tight. "You can't decide your own death just like that."
"You can if you're me - Lord Yoochun, remember?" Yoochun teases, and Junsu's vision blurs.
"And you can still joke around!" Junsu yells. "I'm taking you to the hospital right now!"
Yoochun's hand flies out to grip Junsu's arm. "Junsu, please, be reasonable."
"You're the bloody unreasonable one!" The tears spill, and Junsu hits Yoochun's chest when Yoochun hugs him.
Yoochun murmurs, "I never said I wasn't."
"And you're," Junsu shudders. "You're leaving me behind without a fight."
"You were fine before meeting me."
"You say that after irritating me, writing love notes to me and making me fall in love with you?"
Their third kiss tastes of salt and loneliness.
(7)
"I'm going to listen to you and go to the hospital," Yoochun says over the phone. "If you come and visit everyday."
Junsu brings flowers, bright yellow sunflowers because they make him feel happy like Yoochun does.
"How are you?" Junsu asks, sitting in the chair beside Yoochun's bed.
"Fine, like always." Yoochun rolls his eyes. "Really, I am feeling perfectly all right."
"And it's perfectly all right to be sick once in a while, Yoochun-sshi, you don't have to be so strong. Everyone gets sick." Junsu pokes Yoochun's ribs.
"I've been sick a long while." Yoochun says, "But whenever you feel weak, I can still carry you."
(8)
Jaejoong says, "Don't get your hopes high."
"They were always high in the first place," Junsu answers determinedly. "Yoochun is going to live."
Jaejoong is silent for a long time, then he smiles. "I can see why Yoochun loves you."
Yoochun says, "Don't get your hopes high."
"Abandoning me after I've fallen madly in love with you, Mr Park?" Junsu says lightly.
"I would never if I was given a choice." Yoochun tucks a sunflower behind Junsu's ear and grins.
The doctor says, "Don't get your hopes high."
Junsu wants to tell him, if you don't heal Yoochun I am going to skin you alive, but instead he says, "Please."
(9)
When Yoochun's heart stops beating for a minute, Junsu stops breathing, too.
After that, when the doctors resuscitate him and Yoochun opens his eyes, Junsu hits him.
"Ow," Yoochun's voice is thin, weak. "Is that any way to treat a patient?"
"Don't scare me again," Junsu's eyes are still red from crying. "Don't leave me."
Yoochun doesn't answer, just curls his hand tighter around Junsu's.
(10)
"Do you think it would have been better if we hadn't met?" Yoochun asks out of the blue, the Sun glinting off his hair.
"Do you?" Junsu shoots back.
"If it would stop you from getting hurt when I go," Yoochun says. "Then yes."
Junsu swallows. "You're not going anywhere without me, right?"
Yoochun's answering smile is so soft it robs Junsu of his breathing.
"Junsu-yah, I love you, you know that, right?"
"What's wrong with you? You've been asking random questions all day." Junsu narrows his eyes.
"Forever." Yoochun continues.
"Me, too." Junsu squeezes Yoochun's hand reassuringly.
But Yoochun shakes his head, his eyes hollow. "Just until," Yoochun says. "Until I die. Promise?"
Junsu turns his head away. "You're being silly."
Yoochun hums a melody, soft and melancholy.
The dread snakes around Junsu like ropes, tightening until his fingers tremble and his heart hurts.
(11)
The tears eat Junsu's heart up until there's nothing left, so in a way, he fulfilled his almost-promise with Yoochun.
FIRST POSTED HERE