seven reasons why 2pm never happened
seven reasons why 2pm never happened
gen
1924 words
Junho sinks into the nearest chair, puts his head down onto the table, and watches his dreams evaporate.
seven reasons why 2pm never happened
for such a long time
i lived in an illusion like a fool
- wedding dress (taeyang)
i.
There is a colorful piece of paper sitting on the table when Jaebum goes downstairs for breakfast. He gives it a once-over, then strolls into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. When he gets back to the table, the sheet of paper is in Jehan's hands.
"Hey," Jehan says, shaking the paper in front of Jaebum's face. Jaebum blinks, resists the urge to slap his brother's hand away; it is way too early in the morning for Jehan's over-enthusiasm about whatever is on the paper.
"It's the JYPE auditions next month," Jehan tells him. "Don't you want to try?"
Jaebum gives him a weird look. "No, thanks, I'm not interested in synchronized dancing. I mean, seriously, have you seen them? Gayness overload, seriously -"
"I think you should try," Jehan insists.
The colorful sheet of paper is an eyesore. God, even their advertisements were gay. Jaebum snatches the paper out of Jehan's hands, then balls it up and tosses it onto the floor. "Enough," Jaebum snaps. "Do you hate me so much that you want me to leave or something?"
"I -"
Jaebum pushes his chair back loudly, walking out of the house and slamming the door so hard it rattles.
Her eyes are bright as she looks at him, fingers interlocked together in front of her. "He told me," she says. "Jehan."
Jaebum shuts his eyes, making an exasperated noise. "What the -"
"Don't," she says. "I think you should go."
His eyes fly open, meeting her determined gaze. "Even you, too? I swear, it's like the entire world hates me and can't wait for me to get out of their sight or something."
She smiles slightly. "We know what's best for you, even if you're a little too dense to see it."
"Jess, I am not leaving." He exhales. Breathe, breathe, he tells himself - he doesn't want to start an argument with her. "Please, let's not talk about it anymore. I just, I want to stay here. Right here, with you."
Her eyes warm a little, and he sits down beside her on the bed, reaching out to take one of her hands and clutching it tightly. "I won't leave you," he repeats, and she nods.
ii.
Junsu is so nervous that his hands won't stop shaking and his voice cracks halfway through singing. His palms are wet, and he wipes them surreptitiously on his shirt. The panel of people who will make or break his future shuffle their papers and occasionally exchange a whisper.
"Junsu-sshi," one of them says, slipping his spectacles off from his nose. "We have decided to accept you."
He can feel his heartbeat quicken, the steady rush of exhilaration seeping throughout his body. He has the urge to run around and scream and dance and cry, but all he can do is press his nails into the back of his other hand in order to contain his excitement.
"However," the man continues (and oh, Junsu's heart falls, falls, falls), wiping his spectacles on his crisp white shirt. "We need to, ah. Work on your outer appearance a little. You do get what I mean, right, Junsu-sshi?"
Junsu feels slightly light-headed. He opens his mouth, but no words manage to come out. His feet feel leaden, his lips feel swollen. He thinks he is going to die, maybe. Plastic surgery. They wanted him to get plastic surgery because he was too ugly to be an idol. Junsu's head spins and spins, and he has the sick urge to stalk over to that horrible, horrible man and use his polka-dotted tie to strangle him until his face turns purple ("Maybe you should get some changes done to your outer appearance instead," Junsu would say. "Purple isn't the best color for you.").
Instead, he bows jerkily and walks out of the audition room.
"I," the caller says. "I just wanted to tell you that I got accepted. Youngbae, too."
His head hurts. It's getting hard to breathe. "Congratulations, Jiyong," he says, attempting to force some cheer into his dead voice. "You two will be great, really."
"Junsu, I -"
He hangs up, and pretends he isn't crying.
iii.
"I got tickets for the Korean Music Festival," his younger sister says, beaming brightly. A pair of tickets are clutched in her hands, and she offers them to him with a proud smile.
"Thank you," Nichkhun answers, smiling as he ruffles her hair. "Where did you get them from?"
She bites her lower lip for a moment. "Maria gave them to me," she explains, tugging on a clump of her hair. "I told her how much you liked to listen to Korean songs."
Nichkhun looks at her meaningfully. "Are you sure Maria gave them to you?" He asks, knowing her every little quirk and habit; she always fidgets too much when she is lying.
She nods quickly, eyes wide as her fingers shift to fiddle with the bottom of her skirt. Nichkhun sighs. "I know you mean well, but you shouldn't take things from Maria when she wants it, too. Now tell me, what exactly did you tell Maria?"
She hangs her head, looking down at her feet. "I just told her you were really, really sick and this could be the last concert you'd ever be able to watch," she confesses in a tiny voice.
Nichkhun flicks her forehead. "Don't do it ever again," he admonishes. "And please, please, return them to Maria, okay?"
She glances up at him, frowning a little. "But, don't you want them?"
Nichkhun smiles. "I do, but it belongs to Maria, so you should give them back to her."
She nods, then skips back into her room, fingers wrapped around the tickets.
They go out for pizza instead, on the night of the Korean Music Festival. His mother cracks ridiculously corny jokes, and they laugh over their slices of Hawaiian Pizza and glasses of Coke. Nichkhun doesn't regret not attending the festival, not one bit - spending time with his family has always been the most important thing to him, anyway.
iv.
After his rejection from Superstar Survival, Taecyeon decides that what he really wants to do is become a model. No need to learn singing or dancing - all you have to do is glare at the camera and strike a few poses.
So he goes to New York City to audition to become a model for JYP Entertainment, and when one of the judges ask if he wants to become an idol instead, he shakes his head. "No," he answers. "I want to be a model, sir."
Yes, a model. This is what Taecyeon wants to be.
He becomes one of the most sought-after models in both America and Korea, and girls always whisper and giggle about him, some more daring ones asking for a hug or an autograph. He is happier this way, he decides; he gets fans and publicity without having to deal with vocal and dance lessons.
In a way, he is sort of thankful to the judges on Superstar Survival for eliminating him. Taecyeon is positive that the life he is leading now is a million times better than the one he would have had if he'd become an idol.
v.
"I want to be a singer," she confesses to him one day. Her long hair falls in front of her face, and he reaches out a hand to brush it away. He smiles at her.
"I do, too," he tells her, and her hand flashes out to grip his wrist.
She tilts her head to the side a little, big eyes meeting his smaller ones. "Let's do this together," she says. "Promise."
There are two reasons why he promised: one, he is willing to do anything and everything, as long as she is with him; two, he actually really wants to do this.
When she leaves him, he sets about attempting to put his life back together without her. He throws out everything that could possibly remind him of her - the book she lent him, their photographs, birthday presents - and after a few days of crying over her, he decides that he is ready to move on and forget about her.
He does, in time. He forgets every single thing that has to do with her, including their age-old promise to be singers together. She ends up debuting in a group called KARA, and he ends up thinking of what he could have been (been in a seven-member group called 2pm, shone on stage with tens of thousands of fans screaming his name - Jang Wooyoung, Jang Wooyoung -, made his parents proud of him, gotten six wonderful bandmembers whom he would later treat as his brothers).
vi.
Junho clenches his fists. "But I want to do this," he argues hotly. "This is my ambition, my dream -"
His father sighs. "Junho, how many ambitions have you had so far? And every single time you end up giving halfway. How am I supposed to believe you won't do the same this time?"
Junho looks away, tears stinging his eyes. "But I won't," he says quietly. "I promise I won't."
He has had so many ambitions so far - cook, soccer player, baseball player, swimmer, pilot, computer programmer, singer, and actor - but this is the first time he has wanted to be something so badly. He will do anything just to become an idol, to be loved by thousands of fans.
The newspapers rustle as his father tosses them onto the table. "Being an idol isn't as easy as you think, Junho," his father tells him. "You can't just give up halfway when you get in. It's tiring, it's harsh; you won't last."
"I will," Junho says. "I will. Just let me try."
"What if you decide you don't want to do this anymore after you debut? What if you pull down your other group members just because of your own selfish wants? Or worse still, what if you have no choice but to endure and endure and endure even if you hate this job, and you end up regretting this decision?" His father shakes his head slowly, gives him one last meaningful look, then strides out.
Junho sinks into the nearest chair, puts his head down onto the table, and watches his dreams evaporate.
When his fifteen-year-old son tells him he wants to be an idol, Junho is silent for a while. He thinks of his stable income now, his pretty and amazing wife, and he wonders if his father had been right, after all.
But then he thinks about all the regrets he'd had after that. The regrets he still has now, wondering if he could have been wonderful as an idol after all.
So he places his hands on his son's shoulders and smiles. "Go ahead," he says. "Give it a try."
vii.
When they announce that he is the winner of Superstar Survival, Chansung can hear the screams and cheers from the audience. He accepts the bouquet of flowers and grins at the crowd. After that, he is swamped with excited fans wanting his autograph, and teary-eyed hugs from his friends and family.
"You did it," his mother says, and he embraces her back, knowing full well he has done her proud.
He debuts three years after that. His debut song is a hit and wins the Mutizen award. He gets a girlfriend, but is spotted holding hands with her by a sharp-eyed reporter and the scandal earns him some backlash from netizens.
Nonetheless, he will still keep fighting. This is what he has always wanted to do, after all.
gen
1924 words
Junho sinks into the nearest chair, puts his head down onto the table, and watches his dreams evaporate.
seven reasons why 2pm never happened
for such a long time
i lived in an illusion like a fool
- wedding dress (taeyang)
i.
There is a colorful piece of paper sitting on the table when Jaebum goes downstairs for breakfast. He gives it a once-over, then strolls into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. When he gets back to the table, the sheet of paper is in Jehan's hands.
"Hey," Jehan says, shaking the paper in front of Jaebum's face. Jaebum blinks, resists the urge to slap his brother's hand away; it is way too early in the morning for Jehan's over-enthusiasm about whatever is on the paper.
"It's the JYPE auditions next month," Jehan tells him. "Don't you want to try?"
Jaebum gives him a weird look. "No, thanks, I'm not interested in synchronized dancing. I mean, seriously, have you seen them? Gayness overload, seriously -"
"I think you should try," Jehan insists.
The colorful sheet of paper is an eyesore. God, even their advertisements were gay. Jaebum snatches the paper out of Jehan's hands, then balls it up and tosses it onto the floor. "Enough," Jaebum snaps. "Do you hate me so much that you want me to leave or something?"
"I -"
Jaebum pushes his chair back loudly, walking out of the house and slamming the door so hard it rattles.
Her eyes are bright as she looks at him, fingers interlocked together in front of her. "He told me," she says. "Jehan."
Jaebum shuts his eyes, making an exasperated noise. "What the -"
"Don't," she says. "I think you should go."
His eyes fly open, meeting her determined gaze. "Even you, too? I swear, it's like the entire world hates me and can't wait for me to get out of their sight or something."
She smiles slightly. "We know what's best for you, even if you're a little too dense to see it."
"Jess, I am not leaving." He exhales. Breathe, breathe, he tells himself - he doesn't want to start an argument with her. "Please, let's not talk about it anymore. I just, I want to stay here. Right here, with you."
Her eyes warm a little, and he sits down beside her on the bed, reaching out to take one of her hands and clutching it tightly. "I won't leave you," he repeats, and she nods.
ii.
Junsu is so nervous that his hands won't stop shaking and his voice cracks halfway through singing. His palms are wet, and he wipes them surreptitiously on his shirt. The panel of people who will make or break his future shuffle their papers and occasionally exchange a whisper.
"Junsu-sshi," one of them says, slipping his spectacles off from his nose. "We have decided to accept you."
He can feel his heartbeat quicken, the steady rush of exhilaration seeping throughout his body. He has the urge to run around and scream and dance and cry, but all he can do is press his nails into the back of his other hand in order to contain his excitement.
"However," the man continues (and oh, Junsu's heart falls, falls, falls), wiping his spectacles on his crisp white shirt. "We need to, ah. Work on your outer appearance a little. You do get what I mean, right, Junsu-sshi?"
Junsu feels slightly light-headed. He opens his mouth, but no words manage to come out. His feet feel leaden, his lips feel swollen. He thinks he is going to die, maybe. Plastic surgery. They wanted him to get plastic surgery because he was too ugly to be an idol. Junsu's head spins and spins, and he has the sick urge to stalk over to that horrible, horrible man and use his polka-dotted tie to strangle him until his face turns purple ("Maybe you should get some changes done to your outer appearance instead," Junsu would say. "Purple isn't the best color for you.").
Instead, he bows jerkily and walks out of the audition room.
"I," the caller says. "I just wanted to tell you that I got accepted. Youngbae, too."
His head hurts. It's getting hard to breathe. "Congratulations, Jiyong," he says, attempting to force some cheer into his dead voice. "You two will be great, really."
"Junsu, I -"
He hangs up, and pretends he isn't crying.
iii.
"I got tickets for the Korean Music Festival," his younger sister says, beaming brightly. A pair of tickets are clutched in her hands, and she offers them to him with a proud smile.
"Thank you," Nichkhun answers, smiling as he ruffles her hair. "Where did you get them from?"
She bites her lower lip for a moment. "Maria gave them to me," she explains, tugging on a clump of her hair. "I told her how much you liked to listen to Korean songs."
Nichkhun looks at her meaningfully. "Are you sure Maria gave them to you?" He asks, knowing her every little quirk and habit; she always fidgets too much when she is lying.
She nods quickly, eyes wide as her fingers shift to fiddle with the bottom of her skirt. Nichkhun sighs. "I know you mean well, but you shouldn't take things from Maria when she wants it, too. Now tell me, what exactly did you tell Maria?"
She hangs her head, looking down at her feet. "I just told her you were really, really sick and this could be the last concert you'd ever be able to watch," she confesses in a tiny voice.
Nichkhun flicks her forehead. "Don't do it ever again," he admonishes. "And please, please, return them to Maria, okay?"
She glances up at him, frowning a little. "But, don't you want them?"
Nichkhun smiles. "I do, but it belongs to Maria, so you should give them back to her."
She nods, then skips back into her room, fingers wrapped around the tickets.
They go out for pizza instead, on the night of the Korean Music Festival. His mother cracks ridiculously corny jokes, and they laugh over their slices of Hawaiian Pizza and glasses of Coke. Nichkhun doesn't regret not attending the festival, not one bit - spending time with his family has always been the most important thing to him, anyway.
iv.
After his rejection from Superstar Survival, Taecyeon decides that what he really wants to do is become a model. No need to learn singing or dancing - all you have to do is glare at the camera and strike a few poses.
So he goes to New York City to audition to become a model for JYP Entertainment, and when one of the judges ask if he wants to become an idol instead, he shakes his head. "No," he answers. "I want to be a model, sir."
Yes, a model. This is what Taecyeon wants to be.
He becomes one of the most sought-after models in both America and Korea, and girls always whisper and giggle about him, some more daring ones asking for a hug or an autograph. He is happier this way, he decides; he gets fans and publicity without having to deal with vocal and dance lessons.
In a way, he is sort of thankful to the judges on Superstar Survival for eliminating him. Taecyeon is positive that the life he is leading now is a million times better than the one he would have had if he'd become an idol.
v.
"I want to be a singer," she confesses to him one day. Her long hair falls in front of her face, and he reaches out a hand to brush it away. He smiles at her.
"I do, too," he tells her, and her hand flashes out to grip his wrist.
She tilts her head to the side a little, big eyes meeting his smaller ones. "Let's do this together," she says. "Promise."
There are two reasons why he promised: one, he is willing to do anything and everything, as long as she is with him; two, he actually really wants to do this.
When she leaves him, he sets about attempting to put his life back together without her. He throws out everything that could possibly remind him of her - the book she lent him, their photographs, birthday presents - and after a few days of crying over her, he decides that he is ready to move on and forget about her.
He does, in time. He forgets every single thing that has to do with her, including their age-old promise to be singers together. She ends up debuting in a group called KARA, and he ends up thinking of what he could have been (been in a seven-member group called 2pm, shone on stage with tens of thousands of fans screaming his name - Jang Wooyoung, Jang Wooyoung -, made his parents proud of him, gotten six wonderful bandmembers whom he would later treat as his brothers).
vi.
Junho clenches his fists. "But I want to do this," he argues hotly. "This is my ambition, my dream -"
His father sighs. "Junho, how many ambitions have you had so far? And every single time you end up giving halfway. How am I supposed to believe you won't do the same this time?"
Junho looks away, tears stinging his eyes. "But I won't," he says quietly. "I promise I won't."
He has had so many ambitions so far - cook, soccer player, baseball player, swimmer, pilot, computer programmer, singer, and actor - but this is the first time he has wanted to be something so badly. He will do anything just to become an idol, to be loved by thousands of fans.
The newspapers rustle as his father tosses them onto the table. "Being an idol isn't as easy as you think, Junho," his father tells him. "You can't just give up halfway when you get in. It's tiring, it's harsh; you won't last."
"I will," Junho says. "I will. Just let me try."
"What if you decide you don't want to do this anymore after you debut? What if you pull down your other group members just because of your own selfish wants? Or worse still, what if you have no choice but to endure and endure and endure even if you hate this job, and you end up regretting this decision?" His father shakes his head slowly, gives him one last meaningful look, then strides out.
Junho sinks into the nearest chair, puts his head down onto the table, and watches his dreams evaporate.
When his fifteen-year-old son tells him he wants to be an idol, Junho is silent for a while. He thinks of his stable income now, his pretty and amazing wife, and he wonders if his father had been right, after all.
But then he thinks about all the regrets he'd had after that. The regrets he still has now, wondering if he could have been wonderful as an idol after all.
So he places his hands on his son's shoulders and smiles. "Go ahead," he says. "Give it a try."
vii.
When they announce that he is the winner of Superstar Survival, Chansung can hear the screams and cheers from the audience. He accepts the bouquet of flowers and grins at the crowd. After that, he is swamped with excited fans wanting his autograph, and teary-eyed hugs from his friends and family.
"You did it," his mother says, and he embraces her back, knowing full well he has done her proud.
He debuts three years after that. His debut song is a hit and wins the Mutizen award. He gets a girlfriend, but is spotted holding hands with her by a sharp-eyed reporter and the scandal earns him some backlash from netizens.
Nonetheless, he will still keep fighting. This is what he has always wanted to do, after all.