~012 - [TEXT] - Private to Paddy

Dec 02, 2010 17:49

I'm sorry for dumping all of that on you. It was selfish and pathetic.

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private christ_onabike December 2 2010, 23:06:26 UTC
Don't you even dare apologise.

That... that's never selfish or pathetic.

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private intofireforever December 2 2010, 23:11:57 UTC
I know I didn't remember myself, but it was still unfair to expect you to fix it all somehow.

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Re: private christ_onabike December 2 2010, 23:19:21 UTC
You were a little kid, Laura, and I came and said I'd help. Please, don't apologise.

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private intofireforever December 2 2010, 23:22:08 UTC
I'm embarrassed, okay?!

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Re: private christ_onabike December 2 2010, 23:24:57 UTC
I... I get that, alright. But you've still got nothing to apologise for.

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Re: private intofireforever December 2 2010, 23:29:48 UTC
I was a stupid child.

Do you get it now, at least?

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Re: private christ_onabike December 2 2010, 23:32:09 UTC
You weren't stupid.

I get why you think what you do about yourself. It only convinces me even more that it's totally wrong, though.

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Re: private intofireforever December 2 2010, 23:37:58 UTC
I've been beyond help for most of my life. No normal child goes out and fucks a group of 20-year-old guys.

You can't save me, Paddy.

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Re: private christ_onabike December 2 2010, 23:41:25 UTC
they were that ol

And no normal group of twenty year old guys goes and fucks a kid either. You see what I'm sayin' here, Laura?

Nobody's inherently screwed up. Something screws 'em up. You only convinced me this wasn't your fault, and the only reason you thought it was was because that's all you'd been told, not because it actually was.

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private intofireforever December 2 2010, 23:49:19 UTC
I'm old enough now to know I asked for it without needing to hear it from someone else. That's why I stayed and let myself be killed, even though I was terrified of death--I didn't deserve to escape. I had to stay.

I didn't deserve anyone's help. That's why they all turned a blind eye until I was dead...and even then, some of them still didn't want to be concerned with it. You know what my best friend since we were little said at my grave, not two weeks after they put me in the ground? That they didn't bury me deep enough.

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Re: private christ_onabike December 2 2010, 23:56:13 UTC
Or they turned a blind eye because they were fucking idiots, Laura, who couldn't see you needed some damn help.

Laura, you've only ever had people tell you it's your fault, of course you're gonna think you asked for it, and of course you're gonna reason it out and say you don't need to hear it from anyone else.

But, for fuck's sake, I am more convinced than fucking ever that it's not your fault. All those people who turned a fucking blind eye should take a fucking look at themselves, and ask if there's anything they could have fucking done, because I bet it's a damn sight more than you think.

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Re: private intofireforever December 3 2010, 00:00:15 UTC
Not my fault? He killed Teresa and Maddy just because they looked like me! I couldn't even end it with me!

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Re: private christ_onabike December 3 2010, 00:08:33 UTC
For fuck's sake, if someone killed Nathan because he looked like me, would that be my fucking fault? No.

He's the one that did the fucking killing, not you.

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Re: private intofireforever December 3 2010, 00:22:56 UTC
You don't understand.

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Re: private christ_onabike December 3 2010, 00:24:52 UTC
Then explain it to me.

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Re: private intofireforever December 3 2010, 00:25:41 UTC
Don't you think I've been trying all this time?!

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