And no normal group of twenty year old guys goes and fucks a kid either. You see what I'm sayin' here, Laura?
Nobody's inherently screwed up. Something screws 'em up. You only convinced me this wasn't your fault, and the only reason you thought it was was because that's all you'd been told, not because it actually was.
I'm old enough now to know I asked for it without needing to hear it from someone else. That's why I stayed and let myself be killed, even though I was terrified of death--I didn't deserve to escape. I had to stay.
I didn't deserve anyone's help. That's why they all turned a blind eye until I was dead...and even then, some of them still didn't want to be concerned with it. You know what my best friend since we were little said at my grave, not two weeks after they put me in the ground? That they didn't bury me deep enough.
Or they turned a blind eye because they were fucking idiots, Laura, who couldn't see you needed some damn help.
Laura, you've only ever had people tell you it's your fault, of course you're gonna think you asked for it, and of course you're gonna reason it out and say you don't need to hear it from anyone else.
But, for fuck's sake, I am more convinced than fucking ever that it's not your fault. All those people who turned a fucking blind eye should take a fucking look at themselves, and ask if there's anything they could have fucking done, because I bet it's a damn sight more than you think.
That... that's never selfish or pathetic.
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Do you get it now, at least?
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I get why you think what you do about yourself. It only convinces me even more that it's totally wrong, though.
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You can't save me, Paddy.
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And no normal group of twenty year old guys goes and fucks a kid either. You see what I'm sayin' here, Laura?
Nobody's inherently screwed up. Something screws 'em up. You only convinced me this wasn't your fault, and the only reason you thought it was was because that's all you'd been told, not because it actually was.
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I didn't deserve anyone's help. That's why they all turned a blind eye until I was dead...and even then, some of them still didn't want to be concerned with it. You know what my best friend since we were little said at my grave, not two weeks after they put me in the ground? That they didn't bury me deep enough.
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Laura, you've only ever had people tell you it's your fault, of course you're gonna think you asked for it, and of course you're gonna reason it out and say you don't need to hear it from anyone else.
But, for fuck's sake, I am more convinced than fucking ever that it's not your fault. All those people who turned a fucking blind eye should take a fucking look at themselves, and ask if there's anything they could have fucking done, because I bet it's a damn sight more than you think.
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He's the one that did the fucking killing, not you.
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