someone else's boy
Don’t give me your cliché judgments, I’ve heard them all before. Don’t give me your advice in black and white, I’ve seen too many of this world’s other shades to buy that. For what it’s worth, I did what I had to do, I did the “smart” thing, the “noble” thing, and I’ll hurt like hell for it. I will suffer like you can’t even imagine. I will fucking pine and I will wallow, and nobody will ever be him. I already know that, and, no, I’m not naïve, so I don’t even wanna hear it. I will never be as attracted to anyone, I never was before. Nobody else’s body will ever feel like it belongs with mine. He is the basis for comparison, which nobody will ever live up to. He was before, I just didn’t know him. If that doesn’t make sense to you, then you have no fucking clue what this feels like and have no right to say a damn thing to me about this. But look at me, I was strong, and you’ll all congratulate me for not letting him “take advantage of me” or for whatever other misconception you have of this. And I’ll go ahead and hurt and either settle for less than my soulmate or be alone for the rest of my life.