Need. Plans. Please.
Normally, I rarely post in communities, and I more rarely don't post things like this...
I'm getting frustrated and stressed right now. I've realized that, although I can often "deal with" and accept people as they are (unless they're ExFx's, but that's another story), generally, I can get overwhelmed easily. I've been trying very hard to work out plans for when I'm going to "hang out" with whom, and I'm not exactly getting the most helpful feedback from the other parties. I hate trying to work things out when the other two are so "go with the flow" and non-commital.
"Hey, tell me when you want to hang out because I need to tell [Name Here] what day I want to hang out with her."
"Don't schedule around me. Schedule with her and give me a time."
"Do you want to hang out Thursday or Friday?"
"IDK."
I figure the solution is just for me to decide when I'm hanging out with whom and then let them know. I dislike doing that if only because I feel bossy and domineering, but I don't feel like I have much of another option. One of them has a tendency to be indecisive and meek, and the other is very much into his "P" (is an INTP). He likes things open and malleable, and he'll hang out with someone at the drop of a hat. As much as I like both of them as friends, and I enjoy spending time with them, just going through the whole process of trying to organize "hanging out" time stresses me quite a bit. I dislike it, and I don't think I need that in my life, but ... fine. It's part of life. I just would like to reduce the occurrences.
Now that I've got that out, I don't really know what I expect in response. You can offer suggestions if you'd like, or you can say you relate, or something else, but I wanted to say something to people that might understand my frustrations.
I'm getting frustrated and stressed right now. I've realized that, although I can often "deal with" and accept people as they are (unless they're ExFx's, but that's another story), generally, I can get overwhelmed easily. I've been trying very hard to work out plans for when I'm going to "hang out" with whom, and I'm not exactly getting the most helpful feedback from the other parties. I hate trying to work things out when the other two are so "go with the flow" and non-commital.
"Hey, tell me when you want to hang out because I need to tell [Name Here] what day I want to hang out with her."
"Don't schedule around me. Schedule with her and give me a time."
"Do you want to hang out Thursday or Friday?"
"IDK."
I figure the solution is just for me to decide when I'm hanging out with whom and then let them know. I dislike doing that if only because I feel bossy and domineering, but I don't feel like I have much of another option. One of them has a tendency to be indecisive and meek, and the other is very much into his "P" (is an INTP). He likes things open and malleable, and he'll hang out with someone at the drop of a hat. As much as I like both of them as friends, and I enjoy spending time with them, just going through the whole process of trying to organize "hanging out" time stresses me quite a bit. I dislike it, and I don't think I need that in my life, but ... fine. It's part of life. I just would like to reduce the occurrences.
Now that I've got that out, I don't really know what I expect in response. You can offer suggestions if you'd like, or you can say you relate, or something else, but I wanted to say something to people that might understand my frustrations.