and so it begins
The year 2005 what this year holds i have no idea..but i imagine a few more broken hearts, a few more family crisis's, a couple more lost friendships and of course so more problems with my car. Why am i so pestimistic i wonder? This past year that's exactly what i've been the epitamy of a Scrooge. I wonder what happened? Did i finally grow up and get a taste of the real world? Or maybe it's simply that my life is so retarded there is simply nothing to smile at anymore? I know it's not that at all! In many ways my life is sometimes more than i know how to handle but i hope that in the end that will help me become a stronger person. With the end of this year it's become so easy to look at all the bad. This past week i experienced the loss of friendships, the realization that the word love doesn't mean what it should,and that sometimes you just can't let go. But of course that is the negative side. I just feel it's easier to look at the bad so the good can overcome that.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is an amazing movie and just until a few moments ago i sat here wishing i too could erase the memories of a past once lived. But i can't. And instead of dwelling i should embrace! I should go to a mountain top and shout "i'm an idiot, i've made more mistakes than right decisions, and many times i'm not a very good friend!"
You see i woke up in a funk this morning dreading tonight and wishing i could just sleep through it. But heck who wants to sleep through a chance to get things right? The new year brings me a chance to start fresh and that's good enough. We all wish at some point in our life we could go through time and START OVER. But if we were to erase mistakes in the past but then how would we grow up? Just like when u were 5 yrs old and u put your hand on the iron to find indeed it is hot! Do you still touch the metal part of the iron when it's on? Hopefully not.
Life isn't about how far we get in it or how much money we make, or how beautiful and perfect we seem to others. I think it's about finding those loved ones that you know would never harm u intentionally and being with them. It's about faith. The kind u have in others and in a higher being. To have faith that with this year and the bad that comes with it God has put people in my life that will help me through it. And he too will provide me the strength to carry on. So no matter how bad this year ends there is always the good that tomorrow brings and the loved ones that are there to share it with.
Thanks 2004 for,
my loving mother
my aggravating sisters,
my butthead father,
my bestfriends who keep me grounded and always stand by my side
(Theresa,Sam, and Kelby)
*a certain intrested boy(he's a christian! yay!)
loved ones who make me feel beautiful on my worst day.
The many power struggles of my faith and landing me here today.
Friends lost and friends made,
the state of being broke when $1 means i'm rich,
a job that kills me as much as it helps me grow,
being able to still play in the mudd w. close friends,
good music to fill my soul and awful music to make me laugh,
memories made, mistakes made,
tears shed, laughter on a constant basis.
and oh so much more....
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is an amazing movie and just until a few moments ago i sat here wishing i too could erase the memories of a past once lived. But i can't. And instead of dwelling i should embrace! I should go to a mountain top and shout "i'm an idiot, i've made more mistakes than right decisions, and many times i'm not a very good friend!"
You see i woke up in a funk this morning dreading tonight and wishing i could just sleep through it. But heck who wants to sleep through a chance to get things right? The new year brings me a chance to start fresh and that's good enough. We all wish at some point in our life we could go through time and START OVER. But if we were to erase mistakes in the past but then how would we grow up? Just like when u were 5 yrs old and u put your hand on the iron to find indeed it is hot! Do you still touch the metal part of the iron when it's on? Hopefully not.
Life isn't about how far we get in it or how much money we make, or how beautiful and perfect we seem to others. I think it's about finding those loved ones that you know would never harm u intentionally and being with them. It's about faith. The kind u have in others and in a higher being. To have faith that with this year and the bad that comes with it God has put people in my life that will help me through it. And he too will provide me the strength to carry on. So no matter how bad this year ends there is always the good that tomorrow brings and the loved ones that are there to share it with.
Thanks 2004 for,
my loving mother
my aggravating sisters,
my butthead father,
my bestfriends who keep me grounded and always stand by my side
(Theresa,Sam, and Kelby)
*a certain intrested boy(he's a christian! yay!)
loved ones who make me feel beautiful on my worst day.
The many power struggles of my faith and landing me here today.
Friends lost and friends made,
the state of being broke when $1 means i'm rich,
a job that kills me as much as it helps me grow,
being able to still play in the mudd w. close friends,
good music to fill my soul and awful music to make me laugh,
memories made, mistakes made,
tears shed, laughter on a constant basis.
and oh so much more....
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!