bigness vs. smallness
I am against bigness and greatness in all their forms, and with the
invisible molecular moral forces that work from individual to individual,
stealing in through the crannies of the world like so many soft rootlets,
or like the capillary oozing of water, and yet rending the hardest
monuments of man’s pride, if you give them time. The bigger the unit
you deal with, the hollower, the more brutal, the more mendacious is
the life displayed. So I am against all big organizations as such,
national ones first and foremost; against all big successes and big
results; and in favor of the eternal forces of truth which always work
in the individual and immediately unsuccessful way, under-dogs always,
till history comes, after they are long dead, and puts them on top.
william james said this. a friend of mine who has decided to take the
"smallness route" recently quoted it. it gives me alot to think about.
especially after returning from a christian conference where "bigness"
was definitely the agenda.
the question i have is, "how can we evangelize the church in a way that
honors the beatitudes?"
or put another way, "how would jesus go about change in the church?"
part of me tends toward the bigness model. part of me recognizes my
(and others') gifts of speaking and writing and articulation and thinks,
"lets just use the gifts God has given us. it seems like the most change
comes about when there are a few charismatic leaders in public view of
the church."
but then there is this other part of me that whispers, "no. that's the way
of the world. that way just creates celebrities and accumulates power. go
small. be hidden. just live your life faithfully. and your quiet faithfulness
will seep in to the ground and slowly transform hearts."
a recent conversation with a friend that is taking the bigness route suggested
another way to think about this dilemma. "i dont think there is any one right
way, chico. what you have to do is discern your vocation. do what brings your
heart joy. if its not bringing you joy, then its probably not your work to do.
im doing what brings me joy. its not the right or purest or perfect way of
going about it; but no way is--even the hidden way. there are not right, perfect
ways, every way is tainted. dont think about it in terms of 'is this black or
is this white?' everything is grey. enter the greyness and do what brings you
joy."
perhaps this is the way to go about it. maybe there is room for superstar
celebrity christians like dr. king and dorothy day and gandhi. and maybe in
the midst of that bigness, there is room for smallness--for all of the quiet,
unknown christians who are living humble, saintly lives. maybe there's enough
room in God's spectrum of redemptive work in the world to embrace them both.
and maybe, by acknowledging that all ways are tainted, we could have a little
more grace for each other.
or maybe not...
i don't know. but this is what im trying to figure out. what is my vocation?
how can i go about being a witness to the church in a way that brings me joy
and feels in harmony with God's plan for my life?
this will take time.
we will see what happens...
invisible molecular moral forces that work from individual to individual,
stealing in through the crannies of the world like so many soft rootlets,
or like the capillary oozing of water, and yet rending the hardest
monuments of man’s pride, if you give them time. The bigger the unit
you deal with, the hollower, the more brutal, the more mendacious is
the life displayed. So I am against all big organizations as such,
national ones first and foremost; against all big successes and big
results; and in favor of the eternal forces of truth which always work
in the individual and immediately unsuccessful way, under-dogs always,
till history comes, after they are long dead, and puts them on top.
william james said this. a friend of mine who has decided to take the
"smallness route" recently quoted it. it gives me alot to think about.
especially after returning from a christian conference where "bigness"
was definitely the agenda.
the question i have is, "how can we evangelize the church in a way that
honors the beatitudes?"
or put another way, "how would jesus go about change in the church?"
part of me tends toward the bigness model. part of me recognizes my
(and others') gifts of speaking and writing and articulation and thinks,
"lets just use the gifts God has given us. it seems like the most change
comes about when there are a few charismatic leaders in public view of
the church."
but then there is this other part of me that whispers, "no. that's the way
of the world. that way just creates celebrities and accumulates power. go
small. be hidden. just live your life faithfully. and your quiet faithfulness
will seep in to the ground and slowly transform hearts."
a recent conversation with a friend that is taking the bigness route suggested
another way to think about this dilemma. "i dont think there is any one right
way, chico. what you have to do is discern your vocation. do what brings your
heart joy. if its not bringing you joy, then its probably not your work to do.
im doing what brings me joy. its not the right or purest or perfect way of
going about it; but no way is--even the hidden way. there are not right, perfect
ways, every way is tainted. dont think about it in terms of 'is this black or
is this white?' everything is grey. enter the greyness and do what brings you
joy."
perhaps this is the way to go about it. maybe there is room for superstar
celebrity christians like dr. king and dorothy day and gandhi. and maybe in
the midst of that bigness, there is room for smallness--for all of the quiet,
unknown christians who are living humble, saintly lives. maybe there's enough
room in God's spectrum of redemptive work in the world to embrace them both.
and maybe, by acknowledging that all ways are tainted, we could have a little
more grace for each other.
or maybe not...
i don't know. but this is what im trying to figure out. what is my vocation?
how can i go about being a witness to the church in a way that brings me joy
and feels in harmony with God's plan for my life?
this will take time.
we will see what happens...