Even now
Oh man.
I'm so tired of all this. This drama. This frustration. This fallible logic we call reason.
Reason has yet to get me what is a priority. Not grades- no not understanding. Well, yes somewhat. But it has created more doubt. More faith with myself than in my God.
I pray to be humbled. I pray to be broken. I pray that truth may be revealed because that is when I will learn. I want my heart to be open. I want to love beyond my understanding.
I was driving home after the One Acts at school listening to Vanessa Carlton's "Home" when I started to think.
Nothing feels like home to me.
Not where I grew up, not this shell of a structure that I live in, not Boone. Not in my dreams.
I feel empty, as if I don't belong. But when I look back when I thought I was home, I would never go back for anything. It all has brought me here. I could go nowhere else.
I cannot move from where God may place me. That is my home.
But at the same time I know it has been my own doing. I need to be still. How I long for the Quiet. But school forces me to move and create excuses such as this.
Even now when I'm alone
I've always known
With you I am home
I am home.
Vanessa Carlton
I'm so tired of all this. This drama. This frustration. This fallible logic we call reason.
Reason has yet to get me what is a priority. Not grades- no not understanding. Well, yes somewhat. But it has created more doubt. More faith with myself than in my God.
I pray to be humbled. I pray to be broken. I pray that truth may be revealed because that is when I will learn. I want my heart to be open. I want to love beyond my understanding.
I was driving home after the One Acts at school listening to Vanessa Carlton's "Home" when I started to think.
Nothing feels like home to me.
Not where I grew up, not this shell of a structure that I live in, not Boone. Not in my dreams.
I feel empty, as if I don't belong. But when I look back when I thought I was home, I would never go back for anything. It all has brought me here. I could go nowhere else.
I cannot move from where God may place me. That is my home.
But at the same time I know it has been my own doing. I need to be still. How I long for the Quiet. But school forces me to move and create excuses such as this.
Even now when I'm alone
I've always known
With you I am home
I am home.
Vanessa Carlton