May 30, 2008 01:51
104. TEN lessons you learned from Disney Movies
1. From Aladdin: Be careful what you wish for, because sometimes there might be a catch that will bite you in the ass.
2. From Tarzan: Apparently it is possible to grow up in the jungle raised by gorillas and be completely devoid of facial or body hair as an adult without learning how to shave.
3. From Lion King: Incest is okay if you don't know that your girlfriend is your cousin/sister (seriously, there were only two full-grown males in that pride; who the hell was Nala's father?).
4. From The Emperor's New Groove: Not even mad scientists know why they have levers that control trapdoors to pits filled with hungry alligators.
5. From Bug's Life: When hiring heroes to fight the bullies that are bothering you, remember to check their credentials.
6. From Little Mermaid: Blowing up your daughter's treasures is going to make you look like the bad guy, not the humans.
7. From Mulan: When disguising yourself as a man to join the army, try not to get seriously wounded.
8. From Pinnochio: Never, ever piss off a whale.
9. From Jungle Book: Snakes are easily defeated by knocking them out of trees and making them eat rocks.
10. From Mary Poppins: Snapping your fingers makes rooms clean themselves instantaneously. I wish that worked on evidence...
tenspot,
the ten spot