prose : day 2 of the week that was
Tuesday
Neck ache still bad. Will have to pick up something for it later. Jack allowed me a quick visit home this morning to get a change of clothes, though apparently my fretting about the crease in my left shirt sleeve amused him greatly. All was quiet this morning. (Well, quiet on the rift front. I had a total of eight customers come into the tourist centre. People are like Cardiff buses - you wait for one and then three come at once. Must remember to order more brochures for the office. Sooner or later people are going to pick up on the fact that some of them are dated 2005. And for sexually transmitted diseases.)
Also must take a course in psychiatry.
---
The door to the Information Centre swung open, a tinkle of bells ringing out as it brushed the make-shift mechanism attached to the frame. Ianto looked up from a piece of paperwork and smiled benignly as a young couple walked nervously over to him, eyeing the stands of tourism brochures as though they offended their core principles.
"Can I... help you?" Ianto asked, wondering how long it had been since he'd had to practise his tour guide routine of anyone. He prided himself on knowing enough about Cardiff to helpfully assist the brave stragglers that sometimes managed to find their way into the dim depths of the tourist booth, but he'd barely had time to read up on the new brochures since becoming more involved with the team. He liked working in the Information Centre; it was only fitting, Ianto reasoned, that aliens would come to a Cardiff Information Centre to find out about the highs and lows of life on earth. The only problem he usually had was helping out the humans.
He waited patiently as the couple hovered in front of his desk. At last the man spoke, a broad Yorkshire accent filling the reception and giving Ianto's own Welsh voice a run for it's money.
"Hallo. Uh, begging your pardon but me and the missus were wondering if you could p'rhaps point us in the direction of a place called, ah, Techniquest?"
He dragged the word out, as though it were something foreign on the end of his tongue. Ianto smiled again, relieved at knowing an answer straight off, and gestured the way with his hands.
"Just 'round the corner, behind Harry Ramsden's!"
He watched the retreating backs of the two holiday-makers. As soon as they had gone, Ianto's smile dropped into a rather more confused frown. "What a fun life they must lead," he said to himself, marvelling at how anyone could stand to spend their holiday in a science museum. He shook his head and dropped his eyes back down to the paperwork, gaze flicking over the words hurriedly as he quickly read the latest brief of their last case.
"Hello?"
The bell hadn't even jingled that time. Though the door a tall blonde stepped, smile red with the brightest of lipstick, eyes lined in the heaviest black. The overall abundance of makeup made her features seem not clownish, as they should have, but quite astounding. Ianto felt his heart rate steadily increase.
"Hello miss, may I help you?"
"I do hope so," she answered in an almost cabaret style of voice. "You see I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the Welsh Millennium Centre?"
"Yes, of course!" Ianto walked around the desk and opened the Tourist Centre's door. He gestured for the woman to stand behind him and pointed in the direction of the large, armadillo shaped building in the distance. "Can't miss it!" he cheerfully exclaimed.
"Oh. How silly of me," the girl remarked in an embarrassed sort of voice.
Ianto tried to stammer an apology. "Oh, no, I don't mean... you didn't know what you were... I mean, it's sort of obvious if you... that is to say..." His ears were burning, words tripping over themselves in effort to jump of the cliff the quickest. "It's hard to miss if you work here," he finished lamely, his desperate smile wavering even as the woman started to walk away. "Tara!" Ianto called after her, shutting the door behind him with a resigned sigh. "Good. Well done. Brilliant work there," he murmured, strolling around the desk, his hands in his pockets as he leant against the wall and began to read again.
Not less than ten minutes later two old women knocked on the door and waddled through the timber frame, their aged forms filling the space as only old women, wearing exceedingly large overcoats and carrying shopping bags large enough to carry home a small whale, could. Looking somewhat overwhelmed, Ianto rested his hands on the desk and leaned forwards.
"Hello there!" he called brightly. "How can I help?"
"What did he say, dear?" the one called loudly to the other, raising an accusatory finger at the bemused-looking Ianto.
"I think he asked to bang some pelt," the other shouted back, peering up at him.
"Haven't been asked that in a while." The shorter of the two women edged towards the counter and looked at Ianto through large, thick glasses. "What's your name, dear?"
"Ianto Jones, miss," he replied automatically, his professional smile never wavering.
The woman looked impressed. "Ooo, isn't he polite, Ethel dear? You don't get many polite ones these days."
"Oh, definitely Mildred," answered Ethel, her eyes sparkling in a way that made Ianto wish that there was more separating him from the two old dears than an counter. "Very smart, too. I like a smart boy."
"Lovely waistcoat," Mildred agreed, reaching across the counter to feel the texture of it beneath her fingers. Shock made Ianto stand still in his place as Mildred fondled the fabric in her wrinkled hands. "Beautiful," she added, gazing up at Ianto, and if it had been anyone other than the lovely eight-five year old Mildred Ianto would've said that the look was suggestive.
"H'okay ladies, that's enough of that," Ianto said, his cheeks burning brightly. He stepped backwards and walked around the counter once more. "Lovely speaking to you. Goodbye now!"
Ethel waddled back out of the Centre but Mildred seemed less easily dissuaded. As she passed him she gave his bottom a customary pinch.
"Ooo, nice and firm. You don't get many like that."
Eyes widening, Ianto watched the two old women leave the Centre, cackling all the way as they headed towards Roald Dahl Plass and disappeared around the corner. Wishing that he could introduce Mildred to Jack sometime, Ianto wandered back into the reception and closed the door hesitantly, dreading whatever guest would come to surprise him next. The warbling laughter which bubbled out of his lips was more than a little hysterical as he shuffled his papers and glanced wearily at the door, willing Abaddon to walk through.
"Go on. Make my day," he grumbled to the empty reception. He waited ten minutes. No further guests arrived. Fifteen. Twenty. Still no visitors came through the door. He was just beginning to get comfortable in his chair again when the door opened and in walked the local postman, bare knees showing beneath Royal Mail standard length shorts.
"Hullo, Ianto," he said, cheerfully pushing a board towards him. "Sign there, if you please. Busy day?"
Writing his neat signature in the little white box, Ianto recapped the pen and returned the postman's smile with a genuine grin. "Busier than usual," was the only thing he said as the postman chortled to himself, pushed Ianto's packages across the reception desk, and left the little hut.
It was nearly lunchtime when the final two visitors came in through the door. Ianto regarded them suspiciously as they came up to the desk and placed a small briefcase atop of Ianto's work.
"Good morning, sir," the one said in a nasally sort of voice. "I am here on behalf of Clarence's Carpet Cleaning. Do you, sir, need your carpets cleaned this fine day?"
Ianto blinked. Two things were very wrong with this question, he thought numbly. One, Cardiff never had "fine days" and two...
Ianto blatantly eyed the floor, saying nothing. When the men refused to take the hint he shook his head and cleared his throat.
"Do I look as though my wooden floor carpet needs cleaning?" he asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. The two men were silent for a moment. They looked around the floor of the cabin and then, finally, back at Ianto who was smiling at them with obvious sarcasm.
"Well it's a bit dirty," the one on the left said.
They all blinked.
"Out, out, out, out, out," chanted Ianto, pushing the men through the door. His head was thumping, the beginnings of a migraine caused by idioticy, he thought.
"My suitcase!"
Ianto threw the suitcase out of the door behind them, slamming it shut and bolting it for good measure. Faintly, the clock above the door to his office chimed twelve. Ianto walked shakily back to his desk, wondering how long he could cope with the citizens of Cardiff for. He was just turning over a page when Jack's head appeared around the doorway, followed by Jack's body as he bounced his way into the Centre, his usual cheery grin fixed in place.
"Busy morning?" he asked, leaning on Ianto's desk and eyeing him predatorily.
"Not really," replied Ianto, leaning up to kiss Jack, thanking any god that would listen that it was lunchtime.
"Same here." Jack kissed him slowly, taking his time as though they had all day to enjoy each other. Jack had never been one for public displays of affection, and whilst the lonely reception hardly counted as public it still bemused Ianto every time Jack showed him the slightest bit of affection.
"I've got paperwork to do," Ianto said, pushing Jack away, not wanting him to see the confused look in his eyes.
"Oh. Right. Well, best be doing it then!" and Jack left, just as quick as he'd come, smile just as bright.
Ianto looked at the empty doorway for a moment before sighing and disappearing back into his office to do his job.
---
I've done all the paper wrk, filed it, stored it, fed the weevils/prehistoric creatures/owen, and am now free. Just so you know.
From: Ianto Mob
16:13 19-FEB-08
------
If ur bored, say ur bored. If u wnt 2 fnd out all the ways desks can be utilised for fun, c u in 2 mins.
From: Jack H Mob
16:18 19-FEB-08
------
U shud meet my new friend, Ethel. She's the only 1 who cud keep up wit ur antics. P.S Ur so romantic. Has any1 eva tld u that?
From: Ianto Mob
16:21 19-FEB-08
------
When do u get time 2 meet friends? I hardly get time to make friends, and that's what I do! I'll be romantic later. Around 7. With cream.
From: Jack H Mob
16:24 19-FEB-08
------
I fit friend making in between doing my laundry and finding tie clips that co-ordinate wit my shoes. Sounds wonderful. I'll bring sprinkles.
From: Ianto Mob
16:27 19-FEB-08
------
Looking fward 2 it. :D
From: Jack H Mob
16:29 19-FEB-08
------
Neck ache still bad. Will have to pick up something for it later. Jack allowed me a quick visit home this morning to get a change of clothes, though apparently my fretting about the crease in my left shirt sleeve amused him greatly. All was quiet this morning. (Well, quiet on the rift front. I had a total of eight customers come into the tourist centre. People are like Cardiff buses - you wait for one and then three come at once. Must remember to order more brochures for the office. Sooner or later people are going to pick up on the fact that some of them are dated 2005. And for sexually transmitted diseases.)
Also must take a course in psychiatry.
---
The door to the Information Centre swung open, a tinkle of bells ringing out as it brushed the make-shift mechanism attached to the frame. Ianto looked up from a piece of paperwork and smiled benignly as a young couple walked nervously over to him, eyeing the stands of tourism brochures as though they offended their core principles.
"Can I... help you?" Ianto asked, wondering how long it had been since he'd had to practise his tour guide routine of anyone. He prided himself on knowing enough about Cardiff to helpfully assist the brave stragglers that sometimes managed to find their way into the dim depths of the tourist booth, but he'd barely had time to read up on the new brochures since becoming more involved with the team. He liked working in the Information Centre; it was only fitting, Ianto reasoned, that aliens would come to a Cardiff Information Centre to find out about the highs and lows of life on earth. The only problem he usually had was helping out the humans.
He waited patiently as the couple hovered in front of his desk. At last the man spoke, a broad Yorkshire accent filling the reception and giving Ianto's own Welsh voice a run for it's money.
"Hallo. Uh, begging your pardon but me and the missus were wondering if you could p'rhaps point us in the direction of a place called, ah, Techniquest?"
He dragged the word out, as though it were something foreign on the end of his tongue. Ianto smiled again, relieved at knowing an answer straight off, and gestured the way with his hands.
"Just 'round the corner, behind Harry Ramsden's!"
He watched the retreating backs of the two holiday-makers. As soon as they had gone, Ianto's smile dropped into a rather more confused frown. "What a fun life they must lead," he said to himself, marvelling at how anyone could stand to spend their holiday in a science museum. He shook his head and dropped his eyes back down to the paperwork, gaze flicking over the words hurriedly as he quickly read the latest brief of their last case.
"Hello?"
The bell hadn't even jingled that time. Though the door a tall blonde stepped, smile red with the brightest of lipstick, eyes lined in the heaviest black. The overall abundance of makeup made her features seem not clownish, as they should have, but quite astounding. Ianto felt his heart rate steadily increase.
"Hello miss, may I help you?"
"I do hope so," she answered in an almost cabaret style of voice. "You see I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the Welsh Millennium Centre?"
"Yes, of course!" Ianto walked around the desk and opened the Tourist Centre's door. He gestured for the woman to stand behind him and pointed in the direction of the large, armadillo shaped building in the distance. "Can't miss it!" he cheerfully exclaimed.
"Oh. How silly of me," the girl remarked in an embarrassed sort of voice.
Ianto tried to stammer an apology. "Oh, no, I don't mean... you didn't know what you were... I mean, it's sort of obvious if you... that is to say..." His ears were burning, words tripping over themselves in effort to jump of the cliff the quickest. "It's hard to miss if you work here," he finished lamely, his desperate smile wavering even as the woman started to walk away. "Tara!" Ianto called after her, shutting the door behind him with a resigned sigh. "Good. Well done. Brilliant work there," he murmured, strolling around the desk, his hands in his pockets as he leant against the wall and began to read again.
Not less than ten minutes later two old women knocked on the door and waddled through the timber frame, their aged forms filling the space as only old women, wearing exceedingly large overcoats and carrying shopping bags large enough to carry home a small whale, could. Looking somewhat overwhelmed, Ianto rested his hands on the desk and leaned forwards.
"Hello there!" he called brightly. "How can I help?"
"What did he say, dear?" the one called loudly to the other, raising an accusatory finger at the bemused-looking Ianto.
"I think he asked to bang some pelt," the other shouted back, peering up at him.
"Haven't been asked that in a while." The shorter of the two women edged towards the counter and looked at Ianto through large, thick glasses. "What's your name, dear?"
"Ianto Jones, miss," he replied automatically, his professional smile never wavering.
The woman looked impressed. "Ooo, isn't he polite, Ethel dear? You don't get many polite ones these days."
"Oh, definitely Mildred," answered Ethel, her eyes sparkling in a way that made Ianto wish that there was more separating him from the two old dears than an counter. "Very smart, too. I like a smart boy."
"Lovely waistcoat," Mildred agreed, reaching across the counter to feel the texture of it beneath her fingers. Shock made Ianto stand still in his place as Mildred fondled the fabric in her wrinkled hands. "Beautiful," she added, gazing up at Ianto, and if it had been anyone other than the lovely eight-five year old Mildred Ianto would've said that the look was suggestive.
"H'okay ladies, that's enough of that," Ianto said, his cheeks burning brightly. He stepped backwards and walked around the counter once more. "Lovely speaking to you. Goodbye now!"
Ethel waddled back out of the Centre but Mildred seemed less easily dissuaded. As she passed him she gave his bottom a customary pinch.
"Ooo, nice and firm. You don't get many like that."
Eyes widening, Ianto watched the two old women leave the Centre, cackling all the way as they headed towards Roald Dahl Plass and disappeared around the corner. Wishing that he could introduce Mildred to Jack sometime, Ianto wandered back into the reception and closed the door hesitantly, dreading whatever guest would come to surprise him next. The warbling laughter which bubbled out of his lips was more than a little hysterical as he shuffled his papers and glanced wearily at the door, willing Abaddon to walk through.
"Go on. Make my day," he grumbled to the empty reception. He waited ten minutes. No further guests arrived. Fifteen. Twenty. Still no visitors came through the door. He was just beginning to get comfortable in his chair again when the door opened and in walked the local postman, bare knees showing beneath Royal Mail standard length shorts.
"Hullo, Ianto," he said, cheerfully pushing a board towards him. "Sign there, if you please. Busy day?"
Writing his neat signature in the little white box, Ianto recapped the pen and returned the postman's smile with a genuine grin. "Busier than usual," was the only thing he said as the postman chortled to himself, pushed Ianto's packages across the reception desk, and left the little hut.
It was nearly lunchtime when the final two visitors came in through the door. Ianto regarded them suspiciously as they came up to the desk and placed a small briefcase atop of Ianto's work.
"Good morning, sir," the one said in a nasally sort of voice. "I am here on behalf of Clarence's Carpet Cleaning. Do you, sir, need your carpets cleaned this fine day?"
Ianto blinked. Two things were very wrong with this question, he thought numbly. One, Cardiff never had "fine days" and two...
Ianto blatantly eyed the floor, saying nothing. When the men refused to take the hint he shook his head and cleared his throat.
"Do I look as though my wooden floor carpet needs cleaning?" he asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. The two men were silent for a moment. They looked around the floor of the cabin and then, finally, back at Ianto who was smiling at them with obvious sarcasm.
"Well it's a bit dirty," the one on the left said.
They all blinked.
"Out, out, out, out, out," chanted Ianto, pushing the men through the door. His head was thumping, the beginnings of a migraine caused by idioticy, he thought.
"My suitcase!"
Ianto threw the suitcase out of the door behind them, slamming it shut and bolting it for good measure. Faintly, the clock above the door to his office chimed twelve. Ianto walked shakily back to his desk, wondering how long he could cope with the citizens of Cardiff for. He was just turning over a page when Jack's head appeared around the doorway, followed by Jack's body as he bounced his way into the Centre, his usual cheery grin fixed in place.
"Busy morning?" he asked, leaning on Ianto's desk and eyeing him predatorily.
"Not really," replied Ianto, leaning up to kiss Jack, thanking any god that would listen that it was lunchtime.
"Same here." Jack kissed him slowly, taking his time as though they had all day to enjoy each other. Jack had never been one for public displays of affection, and whilst the lonely reception hardly counted as public it still bemused Ianto every time Jack showed him the slightest bit of affection.
"I've got paperwork to do," Ianto said, pushing Jack away, not wanting him to see the confused look in his eyes.
"Oh. Right. Well, best be doing it then!" and Jack left, just as quick as he'd come, smile just as bright.
Ianto looked at the empty doorway for a moment before sighing and disappearing back into his office to do his job.
---
I've done all the paper wrk, filed it, stored it, fed the weevils/prehistoric creatures/owen, and am now free. Just so you know.
From: Ianto Mob
16:13 19-FEB-08
------
If ur bored, say ur bored. If u wnt 2 fnd out all the ways desks can be utilised for fun, c u in 2 mins.
From: Jack H Mob
16:18 19-FEB-08
------
U shud meet my new friend, Ethel. She's the only 1 who cud keep up wit ur antics. P.S Ur so romantic. Has any1 eva tld u that?
From: Ianto Mob
16:21 19-FEB-08
------
When do u get time 2 meet friends? I hardly get time to make friends, and that's what I do! I'll be romantic later. Around 7. With cream.
From: Jack H Mob
16:24 19-FEB-08
------
I fit friend making in between doing my laundry and finding tie clips that co-ordinate wit my shoes. Sounds wonderful. I'll bring sprinkles.
From: Ianto Mob
16:27 19-FEB-08
------
Looking fward 2 it. :D
From: Jack H Mob
16:29 19-FEB-08
------