(no subject)
i'm back in colorado but more importantly... i am the kind of person who will often only do things when they are absolutely necessary and right now i have two papers due tomorrow morning, so right now it is absolutely necessary that i write a novel about my trip to california. i expect most of you to stop reading this after the first three sentences or so but shit happens... so:
the phoenix airport, or "the walkway-walkway is ending. please-please-please watch your step"
i forget how to tell a story but i will do the best i can. we (meaning my mom and i) had to switch planes in phoenix and when we got there we were hungry as fuck and went in search of food, except what we found instead was a giant neverending hallway with moving walkways on either side leading to more giant neverending hallways. the problem with these walkways was that they had speakers telling you safety instructions but the speakers were going at different times on either side, so the safety instructions sounded more like a hip-hop remix, or maybe like you were listening to the smiths and what the smiths really wanted was for you to watch your step. anyway, i decided that the people who work there probably go home at night and have "THE WALKWAY IS ENDING, PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP. PLEASE PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP STEP. THIS IS A MOVING MOVING WALKWAY WALKWAY. PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP." repeating in their heads and in their dreams. the search for food was also unsuccessful so we got back on the plane to prepare for...
p.s. flying into phoenix at night is one of the most insanely beautiful things i have ever seen.
arriving in sacramento, or "this facility contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause cancer, and birth defects or other reproductive harm"
we got in around 12:30 and went and retrieved our rental car which was inside a parking lot with giant spikes around the edges, and as if the spikes were not obvious enough, there were also signs saying "DO NOT EXIT. SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE." no shit, severe tire damage. our rental car totally ruled and had the best bass i had ever heard so i put on some as i lay dying because i'm a retard. so we went and checked into our hotel which was quite an ordeal because we had to pick up the phone outside the door and call 'the night guy' because no one actually works at the desk past 10pm. the door also had a sign on it saying "this facility contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause cancer, and birth defects or other reproductive harm," hence the title, and i figured that was quite a warm welcome. once we finally got checked in we found a denny's downtown and ate some bigass sandwiches at 2:30am; then we went home and slept which was probably very bad for our digestion. when we woke up it was...
the second day
which started off with going to starbucks and my ipod playing killing the dream, which made me laugh because killing the dream is from sacramento which isn't really that funny. we went on a search for a hotel because i needed to use a computer to check my email and ours didn't have one, but the search was relatively fruitless because the only computer we found didn't actually work. go figure. i don't honestly remember much of what we did this day except that there was a lot of driving around and driving around and driving around and then we ate some panda [i can't spell] express. once we got out of panda express it was 7pm and i still needed a computer so we went to a marriott and walked across a marsh. when i got there i found an email from pelican's totally awesome press guy saying he could get me a photo pass for the show that night, but not a ticket and was that okay? that was okay but obviously the timing was not and i should have just thrown the stupid broken computer i found earlier out the window because i had no time to tell him so. either way i headed over to good old arco arena for...
taste of chaos, or "are you having fun? it doesn't look like it"
i went to will call to check if he had left me the pass anyway but no dice. fuck broken hotel computers. either way, i bought my ticket and spent 70 years trying to find the entrance, in which i almost walked through a huge clearing of buses and got yelled at by a security guard because "YOU CANNOT GO IN THIS WAY!" once i found the real entrance i got chased after by some guy whose name was either christopher or paul (because "well, no one is going to remember in the morning anyway..." he has a point) who told me he needed a girl's necklace and the only way she would give it to him is if i came to the bottom of the ramp with him, so naturally i went to the bottom of the ramp with him because i am just such a good person. i ended up getting asked to flash christopherpaul's friend and when i said no, he came over and shook my hand and told me i was a respectable girl (which is quite a compliment at taste of chaos). i talked to them for a while, funny group of kids, and highly intoxicated. anyway i went inside and watched story of the year, blahblah, didn't watch pelican because i didn't realize they were pelican and then felt like a total moron, watched thrice, blahblah, got beat up, didn't watch the street drum corps and instead went out on the smoking patio even though i don't smoke where i encountered a run-on sentence so i ended it. what i actually encountered though was a kid who asked me if i was having a good time to which i responded "yeah" which was the wrong answer according to how i looked, but then we got into a discussion about atreyu's bus and how i was two hours late for the show and didn't see as i lay dying. if my hearing was correct his name was "mrrrrrrrph" but i think i can't hear. cool kid though, and this paragraph is way too long but too bad. so then i watched the deftones which was fun, they put on quite a good show. when they were done i went outside for the...
post-taste-of-chaos festivities, or "yes, i'm sitting outside arco arena at 11pm on a wednesday night"
in which i called amanda and discussed the alkaline trio with her, and then went on a huge search for a supermarket. when i finally found one it was about a million oclock at night and i had a giant bruise forming on my hand, so naturally i bought a box of uncrustables, a banana, and a yoohoo. when i returned home, or back to the hotel i guess, i had a massive feast which also included a bag of popcorn and then i listened to glassjaw and watched infomercials and catapulted onto my bed and all was good in my life until i woke up the next morning and i had...
the flu, or "as i lay dying (literally)"
overall, one of the more unpleasant days of my life and i will spare you the details. this day was supposed to be spent going to reno and seeing the alkaline trio and against me but instead it was spent puking. fuck that flu, also known to some as the flu of the year, or the flu-treyu, or the flu-tones. yes, even when i am shaking and barfing and delirious i still have the time to insert the word 'flu' into the names of taste of chaos bands. after sleeping for about 20 hours and taking some 'gassy gator' nausea medication i was relatively good to go (and going nowhere fast?) which leads us to...
reno, or "you're at the wrong mall"
traveling over donner pass was pretty uneventful and the only thing that got eaten was one of the pictures on my camera (as chris conley is singing about taking bites out of someone's insides, NO CHRIS, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN). my mom and i went to chili's and i ate the first real food i'd had in 36 hours besides half a cracker, and then we went on a huge search for gottschalks so i could visit lily because i accidentally deleted the text she sent telling me how to get there. way to go, selene. once i got there i used lily's sidekick which was totally awesome and i turned into one of those annoying sidekick-glued-to-hand kids (sorry lily). after that me and her and amanda and ashley went to the 24-hour starbucks also known as the scene and drank some caramel apple ciders and i got hit on hardcore by mr starbucks counter guy. of course i can't be in reno without going to a wal-mart so we went to a wal-mart... duh. there was a slightly unsettling aisle of toys which may have just been our perverted minds at work, but "when he erupts, EVERYONE gets soaked!" just cannot NOT sound vaguely sexual. i don't really remember what we did after this, i went to lily's house and sat around and we stayed up till an ungodly hour, probably, because that's what we always do. the next morning we got up and went to the airport so she could go to vegas and chill on the strip with socratic for ten hours. amanda called and informed me that someday patrick stump will call me and profess his undying love for me and i will not answer my phone so obviously i turned my ringer on immediately. then i went to her house (amanda, not patrick, because patrick is not female) where me and alyssa tried to look up taking back sunday's new video but instead found a bunch of old guys. except what occurred next was the greatest thing anyone has ever done in the world... but i like cliffhangers so you won't hear about this great occurance until my shoulder fully recovers from the damage i have done to it by typing this story. until next time, faithful readers (even though you are probably not reading this. suckers)
the phoenix airport, or "the walkway-walkway is ending. please-please-please watch your step"
i forget how to tell a story but i will do the best i can. we (meaning my mom and i) had to switch planes in phoenix and when we got there we were hungry as fuck and went in search of food, except what we found instead was a giant neverending hallway with moving walkways on either side leading to more giant neverending hallways. the problem with these walkways was that they had speakers telling you safety instructions but the speakers were going at different times on either side, so the safety instructions sounded more like a hip-hop remix, or maybe like you were listening to the smiths and what the smiths really wanted was for you to watch your step. anyway, i decided that the people who work there probably go home at night and have "THE WALKWAY IS ENDING, PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP. PLEASE PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP STEP. THIS IS A MOVING MOVING WALKWAY WALKWAY. PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP." repeating in their heads and in their dreams. the search for food was also unsuccessful so we got back on the plane to prepare for...
p.s. flying into phoenix at night is one of the most insanely beautiful things i have ever seen.
arriving in sacramento, or "this facility contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause cancer, and birth defects or other reproductive harm"
we got in around 12:30 and went and retrieved our rental car which was inside a parking lot with giant spikes around the edges, and as if the spikes were not obvious enough, there were also signs saying "DO NOT EXIT. SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE." no shit, severe tire damage. our rental car totally ruled and had the best bass i had ever heard so i put on some as i lay dying because i'm a retard. so we went and checked into our hotel which was quite an ordeal because we had to pick up the phone outside the door and call 'the night guy' because no one actually works at the desk past 10pm. the door also had a sign on it saying "this facility contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause cancer, and birth defects or other reproductive harm," hence the title, and i figured that was quite a warm welcome. once we finally got checked in we found a denny's downtown and ate some bigass sandwiches at 2:30am; then we went home and slept which was probably very bad for our digestion. when we woke up it was...
the second day
which started off with going to starbucks and my ipod playing killing the dream, which made me laugh because killing the dream is from sacramento which isn't really that funny. we went on a search for a hotel because i needed to use a computer to check my email and ours didn't have one, but the search was relatively fruitless because the only computer we found didn't actually work. go figure. i don't honestly remember much of what we did this day except that there was a lot of driving around and driving around and driving around and then we ate some panda [i can't spell] express. once we got out of panda express it was 7pm and i still needed a computer so we went to a marriott and walked across a marsh. when i got there i found an email from pelican's totally awesome press guy saying he could get me a photo pass for the show that night, but not a ticket and was that okay? that was okay but obviously the timing was not and i should have just thrown the stupid broken computer i found earlier out the window because i had no time to tell him so. either way i headed over to good old arco arena for...
taste of chaos, or "are you having fun? it doesn't look like it"
i went to will call to check if he had left me the pass anyway but no dice. fuck broken hotel computers. either way, i bought my ticket and spent 70 years trying to find the entrance, in which i almost walked through a huge clearing of buses and got yelled at by a security guard because "YOU CANNOT GO IN THIS WAY!" once i found the real entrance i got chased after by some guy whose name was either christopher or paul (because "well, no one is going to remember in the morning anyway..." he has a point) who told me he needed a girl's necklace and the only way she would give it to him is if i came to the bottom of the ramp with him, so naturally i went to the bottom of the ramp with him because i am just such a good person. i ended up getting asked to flash christopherpaul's friend and when i said no, he came over and shook my hand and told me i was a respectable girl (which is quite a compliment at taste of chaos). i talked to them for a while, funny group of kids, and highly intoxicated. anyway i went inside and watched story of the year, blahblah, didn't watch pelican because i didn't realize they were pelican and then felt like a total moron, watched thrice, blahblah, got beat up, didn't watch the street drum corps and instead went out on the smoking patio even though i don't smoke where i encountered a run-on sentence so i ended it. what i actually encountered though was a kid who asked me if i was having a good time to which i responded "yeah" which was the wrong answer according to how i looked, but then we got into a discussion about atreyu's bus and how i was two hours late for the show and didn't see as i lay dying. if my hearing was correct his name was "mrrrrrrrph" but i think i can't hear. cool kid though, and this paragraph is way too long but too bad. so then i watched the deftones which was fun, they put on quite a good show. when they were done i went outside for the...
post-taste-of-chaos festivities, or "yes, i'm sitting outside arco arena at 11pm on a wednesday night"
in which i called amanda and discussed the alkaline trio with her, and then went on a huge search for a supermarket. when i finally found one it was about a million oclock at night and i had a giant bruise forming on my hand, so naturally i bought a box of uncrustables, a banana, and a yoohoo. when i returned home, or back to the hotel i guess, i had a massive feast which also included a bag of popcorn and then i listened to glassjaw and watched infomercials and catapulted onto my bed and all was good in my life until i woke up the next morning and i had...
the flu, or "as i lay dying (literally)"
overall, one of the more unpleasant days of my life and i will spare you the details. this day was supposed to be spent going to reno and seeing the alkaline trio and against me but instead it was spent puking. fuck that flu, also known to some as the flu of the year, or the flu-treyu, or the flu-tones. yes, even when i am shaking and barfing and delirious i still have the time to insert the word 'flu' into the names of taste of chaos bands. after sleeping for about 20 hours and taking some 'gassy gator' nausea medication i was relatively good to go (and going nowhere fast?) which leads us to...
reno, or "you're at the wrong mall"
traveling over donner pass was pretty uneventful and the only thing that got eaten was one of the pictures on my camera (as chris conley is singing about taking bites out of someone's insides, NO CHRIS, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN). my mom and i went to chili's and i ate the first real food i'd had in 36 hours besides half a cracker, and then we went on a huge search for gottschalks so i could visit lily because i accidentally deleted the text she sent telling me how to get there. way to go, selene. once i got there i used lily's sidekick which was totally awesome and i turned into one of those annoying sidekick-glued-to-hand kids (sorry lily). after that me and her and amanda and ashley went to the 24-hour starbucks also known as the scene and drank some caramel apple ciders and i got hit on hardcore by mr starbucks counter guy. of course i can't be in reno without going to a wal-mart so we went to a wal-mart... duh. there was a slightly unsettling aisle of toys which may have just been our perverted minds at work, but "when he erupts, EVERYONE gets soaked!" just cannot NOT sound vaguely sexual. i don't really remember what we did after this, i went to lily's house and sat around and we stayed up till an ungodly hour, probably, because that's what we always do. the next morning we got up and went to the airport so she could go to vegas and chill on the strip with socratic for ten hours. amanda called and informed me that someday patrick stump will call me and profess his undying love for me and i will not answer my phone so obviously i turned my ringer on immediately. then i went to her house (amanda, not patrick, because patrick is not female) where me and alyssa tried to look up taking back sunday's new video but instead found a bunch of old guys. except what occurred next was the greatest thing anyone has ever done in the world... but i like cliffhangers so you won't hear about this great occurance until my shoulder fully recovers from the damage i have done to it by typing this story. until next time, faithful readers (even though you are probably not reading this. suckers)