self-destructive/irrational :me
its in the pit of me clawing to be free. scratching at my insides and tickling my brain with its breath. it wont leave me alone. whenever i think its gone forever it turns, letting me know that its only sleeping. and when it wakes its terribly angry, anxious to devour me. does it know that in destroying me it will cease to be? at least thats what i'd like to beleive. this is where that taboo thought steps in: suicide. yeah, its gets that way. but the thoughts is as big as a grain of jasmine rice. to even let this word slip through your lips around some people gets you "looks" and even weeks later you continue to get the "looks". so you learn early on not to say anything. master of the smile and nod. it isnt so much denial as it is coping. It makes me laugh to know that this beast is (P)MS