This is the time, it's a delicate line to the beginning of what's yet to come...
The universe finally remembered it's winter! Yesterday was heavy snow from sunrise to sunset, and it's been snowing on and off today as well, and all is right in the world again.
I am also alarmingly cheerful about everything, if you hadn't already gathered that much. This is probably a result of the heart meds continuing to work, and every single day I notice something new that feels like a goddamn miracle. I actually have an appetite again, and don't have to be reminded to eat more than once a day. I don't hurt as much in random places for no good reason. I'm so much less tired than I'm used to - I've been waking up on my own, after eight hours, and happily rolling right out of bed, and I'm not groggy and exhausted all day long.
I can do anything I want - go grocery shopping, do the dishes, put together some drawers, bake cookies, take the dog out, or even some magical combination of all these things - and not have to weigh how much I want to do it against how much I want to not feel like crap for the rest of the day. Yesterday I went out in the world and was on my feet almost the entire time, and though I got a little dizzy toward the end, I was fine again after sitting down for a little while.
Best of all, I feel like I can think more clearly now. That thick fog I've been fighting through every time I try to do anything creative is lifting, I think, and it's been there so long I forgot what it's like without it. Even out of practice as I am, writing is fun again, not something that brings me to tears.
Everything is just so easy now, and I'm both ecstatic and terrified something's going to take it away from me. I like feeling like this. I like feeling like a person again, and I want to stay this way.
Iiiin other news, I got a box fulla awesome from
magistrate, including, among other things, a stuffed Yersinia Pestis, a book of Russian mythology, and a camera! Best addition to an awesome day. Thank you, magi! ♥
...and I have no idea how to close this post, so have a picture of my adorable boppy I took to test the camera.
I am also alarmingly cheerful about everything, if you hadn't already gathered that much. This is probably a result of the heart meds continuing to work, and every single day I notice something new that feels like a goddamn miracle. I actually have an appetite again, and don't have to be reminded to eat more than once a day. I don't hurt as much in random places for no good reason. I'm so much less tired than I'm used to - I've been waking up on my own, after eight hours, and happily rolling right out of bed, and I'm not groggy and exhausted all day long.
I can do anything I want - go grocery shopping, do the dishes, put together some drawers, bake cookies, take the dog out, or even some magical combination of all these things - and not have to weigh how much I want to do it against how much I want to not feel like crap for the rest of the day. Yesterday I went out in the world and was on my feet almost the entire time, and though I got a little dizzy toward the end, I was fine again after sitting down for a little while.
Best of all, I feel like I can think more clearly now. That thick fog I've been fighting through every time I try to do anything creative is lifting, I think, and it's been there so long I forgot what it's like without it. Even out of practice as I am, writing is fun again, not something that brings me to tears.
Everything is just so easy now, and I'm both ecstatic and terrified something's going to take it away from me. I like feeling like this. I like feeling like a person again, and I want to stay this way.
Iiiin other news, I got a box fulla awesome from
magistrate, including, among other things, a stuffed Yersinia Pestis, a book of Russian mythology, and a camera! Best addition to an awesome day. Thank you, magi! ♥
...and I have no idea how to close this post, so have a picture of my adorable boppy I took to test the camera.