End of Summer Update
Right now this summer is dragging on forever. I'm tired of it. It's totally worn out its purpose. Same old shit, day after day. I've done everything so many times its hard for me to have a good time.
FSC has been the light at the end of the tunnel since I last wrote about this a couple weeks back. Since then nothings really changed. I need change. I need things to be kept fresh. I also need to be working towards something or else I feel as though I don't have a purpose. I'm in the midst of working 9 out of 10 days & nights in a row at Curley's - which has been hell. It's also made me realize that theres a side to me a lot of people don't get to see too often. Socially, I'm really chill. I like to relax, be friendly, and hang out with other chill, friendly people watching movies, listen to music drinking and smoking and whatever.
What I'm not sure everyone sees is the side of me thats almost opposite of that. When I want something I will work hard as hell to do it. I remember the time Sheree went to watch one of my basketball games and was surprised that I was good - and I didn't even think I played well. I'm really competitive when I care. (One example that comes to mind was just a day or two ago when I hit 4 from behind the arc in a pickup basketball game to 11 in twilight because Chris Clay was guarding me and he's a fucking scumbag prick and I wanted to show him up.)
[Me ranting about work warning]
Same goes for me at work. My summer has revolved around work. I care there because I have infinite amounts of respect for Manny my manager. He's having to deal with an entire new kitchen staff that are all whiny bitches in addition to having to work through the pain of his torn rotator cuff that he needs to have surgery on (he's not allowing himself any time to recover - he honestly can't. Without him, the kitchen doesn't operate. Like today: Saturday night, Other-Derek's wife calls in to tell him her husbands in jail until Monday. Luckily Manny reached Randy, the one cook who had the day off and he came in. Yesterday night Manny wasn't so lucky. Jarred called in with a crazy lie and Manny had to work a double.) This shit happens every day and it pisses me off. Manny is an upstanding guy. He's wicked into the Sox and a lot of the same music I am. He runs the kitchen by example. He's working through injury. Yet these new assholes (and they're in their late 20's and 30's! this is their career!) in the kitchen treat him like shit. That's why I work my ass off. That's why I cover every shift for those lazy fucks for him I can (including shifts that are going to take me me away from FSC for a couple weeks, ugh). There's a great deal of mutual respect between us, as well as both the other teenagers in the kitchen, who also have more common and professional sense then the adults.
This ties back into the whole feeling of going nowhere I've been having. I really want to get away from Curley's and try something new. I'm not going to be a cook when I grow up (though I have learned a lot and matured tons) so I have this feeling that working in a field where I don't envision a future for myself is totally counterproductive to what I should be doing. (Heh. What I should be doing) Basically I want to find a job almost like an internship where I would learn skills I'm interested in.
Unfortunately I'm not exactly sure what that would be. I want to find something that I love that will bring out that "other side" in me. That I'll just attack and love and be successful with. Even in school this was true. I loved history so I studied that, even though I was naturally better at it so that I would go from say a B+ to an A. On the other hand I sucked at and hated math and I wouldn't study that at all.
My mood changed as I wrote that. I was pissed when i started, now i'm mellowing out and seeing the big picture. Feels good to get stuff off your chest.
Anyways, thats what has been/is going on. FSC still can't come soon enough.
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FSC has been the light at the end of the tunnel since I last wrote about this a couple weeks back. Since then nothings really changed. I need change. I need things to be kept fresh. I also need to be working towards something or else I feel as though I don't have a purpose. I'm in the midst of working 9 out of 10 days & nights in a row at Curley's - which has been hell. It's also made me realize that theres a side to me a lot of people don't get to see too often. Socially, I'm really chill. I like to relax, be friendly, and hang out with other chill, friendly people watching movies, listen to music drinking and smoking and whatever.
What I'm not sure everyone sees is the side of me thats almost opposite of that. When I want something I will work hard as hell to do it. I remember the time Sheree went to watch one of my basketball games and was surprised that I was good - and I didn't even think I played well. I'm really competitive when I care. (One example that comes to mind was just a day or two ago when I hit 4 from behind the arc in a pickup basketball game to 11 in twilight because Chris Clay was guarding me and he's a fucking scumbag prick and I wanted to show him up.)
[Me ranting about work warning]
Same goes for me at work. My summer has revolved around work. I care there because I have infinite amounts of respect for Manny my manager. He's having to deal with an entire new kitchen staff that are all whiny bitches in addition to having to work through the pain of his torn rotator cuff that he needs to have surgery on (he's not allowing himself any time to recover - he honestly can't. Without him, the kitchen doesn't operate. Like today: Saturday night, Other-Derek's wife calls in to tell him her husbands in jail until Monday. Luckily Manny reached Randy, the one cook who had the day off and he came in. Yesterday night Manny wasn't so lucky. Jarred called in with a crazy lie and Manny had to work a double.) This shit happens every day and it pisses me off. Manny is an upstanding guy. He's wicked into the Sox and a lot of the same music I am. He runs the kitchen by example. He's working through injury. Yet these new assholes (and they're in their late 20's and 30's! this is their career!) in the kitchen treat him like shit. That's why I work my ass off. That's why I cover every shift for those lazy fucks for him I can (including shifts that are going to take me me away from FSC for a couple weeks, ugh). There's a great deal of mutual respect between us, as well as both the other teenagers in the kitchen, who also have more common and professional sense then the adults.
This ties back into the whole feeling of going nowhere I've been having. I really want to get away from Curley's and try something new. I'm not going to be a cook when I grow up (though I have learned a lot and matured tons) so I have this feeling that working in a field where I don't envision a future for myself is totally counterproductive to what I should be doing. (Heh. What I should be doing) Basically I want to find a job almost like an internship where I would learn skills I'm interested in.
Unfortunately I'm not exactly sure what that would be. I want to find something that I love that will bring out that "other side" in me. That I'll just attack and love and be successful with. Even in school this was true. I loved history so I studied that, even though I was naturally better at it so that I would go from say a B+ to an A. On the other hand I sucked at and hated math and I wouldn't study that at all.
My mood changed as I wrote that. I was pissed when i started, now i'm mellowing out and seeing the big picture. Feels good to get stuff off your chest.
Anyways, thats what has been/is going on. FSC still can't come soon enough.
\/,,