Dear Bell Canada,
I moved out of that apartment more than a year ago. The bill in March was an annoyance, but I put up with it. You told me the bill in June would be the absolute last one ever, so I paid it and ordered you to close my account. Then I got another bill in August, which led me to argue with you until you cleared it and assured me I wouldn't be hearing from you again. I put all of the details in a small folder labelled 'GET OUT OF MY LIFE BELL CANADA' and breathed an enormous sigh of relief. In other words, I am not paying the bill I just received. This is pathetic. And you wonder why you're losing customers? You'll be lucky if I don't just choose to ignore this!
Sincerely,
an annoyed
inthelemonlight.