untitled my chem ficlet
sinsense requested a comment ficlet with frank/gerard and genderfuckery, which somehow got this rambling 1,300 word scene to happen. no canon was harmed in the making of this ficlet. on ao3 here.
When Frank first meets Gee, officially, it's because Ray saw Frank from across the room and put him into a headlock to get him over to his booth. "You know Mikey, of course," Ray says, ignoring Frank's flailing in his arms, because that fucker Toro's been holding Frank still for years and he knows all the tricks, "and this is Matt, and tonight, Frankie, you should know that you're lucky, because Gee's--stop squirming, seriously--here." Ray lets go of Frank, cheerful, maybe even gleeful in his own somewhat dorky and contained fashion, and Frank takes a moment to straighten his T-shirt.
"Hi," Frank says, and giggles because Ray Toro, ladies and gentlemen. "I'm always lucky," he says, and pushes himself into the already-packed booth next to Mikey.
Mikey seems as glad as he ever is to see Frank, which Frank takes as a compliment because he's seen Mikey when he isn't glad to see someone, and it's basically the most pathetic thing--anyway. Frank nods at Matt, and leans over Mikey to say hello more properly to Gee, grinning, "Hey," and he doesn't mean to spend more than a second like that, pushing Mikey back into the slick cushions with his shoulder, half his weight held up on Mikey's thigh, but he's kind of blown away by Gee. "Hey," Frank says again, with intent this time, pushing back automatically against Mikey when he tries to force Frank out of his lap, "don't I know you?"
Gee's eyebrows go up and up as if under their own power, eye's comically wide--or just getting wider, they're already pretty big, Frank thinks, in a good way, a totally good way. "I think I'd remember you?" Gee has a pale face, and short, dark hair, and a sweater like the kind your grandma gives you that's really too ridiculous for anyone under forty to even attempt, black cut through with slim stripes of red and bright blue, and the whole thing covered in a regular pattern of white dots. "I'm not really around here often," Gee says. "I live in New York."
Mikey elbows Frank in the soft part of his belly between his ribs and his hips. Frank falls under the table and hits his head on central table leg. "Fuck, ow, ow, ow," Frank says, but gets his revenge by slithering back up in between Mikey and Gee.
Gee blinks at him, with those big eyes crinkling up in the corners.
"It's okay, you can totally laugh," Frank says.
God, Gee is just--wow.
Several beers later (Frank hasn't really been paying attention to how many), Frank leans in closer to Gee, squinting. "No, really, I totally know you from somewhere," Frank says. It's pretty loud in the bar but this whole time they've been focused on just each other; he doesn't need to get so close to be heard, so it's really just to get a better look.
Gee smiles really wide, but also sort of like, sorry dude, I can't help you out with your delusions. "Maybe I just, yanno, look familiar because of Mikey," Gee offers, and finishes off another bottle.
Frank looks at Mikey, deep in a conversation with Ray and Matt about something, Frank hasn't been paying attention (it's probably video games), and then back at Gee. "Hunh," he says. He's not sure that's it; he feels like a dog with a bone or something that he's just gotta keep gnawing on for a little while longer and then it'll--turn into gold or something (it wasn't that great of an analogy, maybe). "Why would--"
Gee laughs; Frank's mouth goes dry, just a little bit, so he picks up a bottle from the table and has some more, not really tasting it. "I'm his brother," Gee says.
"Seriously?" That's--okay, that makes some sense, 'cause there's totally some kind of family resemblance, Frank can see it now--in their noses, maybe, or their chins, but.
Gee nods, still smiling.
"Wait, so, lemme get this straight," Frank says, and leans closer, close enough to smell the cigarette smoke in Gee's hair, "you're Mikey's brother? Because," and he stops for a moment, because it's not like he thought Gee wasn't a guy, he just. He thought.
And then he totally remembers where he first saw Gee, like the flip-book in his head suddenly stopping on the right page: Gee in front of him right now, that awful sweater, sweater-weather like spring, that time a few years ago when he went up to New York to bum around Ray's dorm for a bit, Gee.
"What?" Gee says, shifting a little bit, head tilted, pushing imaginary hair behind--his (his? If Gee's Mikey's brother, Frank guesses it's his) ears, like a nervous gesture.
"Dude," Frank says, sure of himself. "I totally saw you walking around campus at SVA a few years ago. You were all dressed up--I remember faces." Frank says, like a television detective in the closing scene, half-accusing but mostly illuminating, "You're totally a lady, aren't you!"
Gee bursts out laughing; Ray and Matt and Mikey look up from their drinks and their in-depth debate over god-knows-what. "Nothing," Gee says, hand over his mouth, giggling still, "nothing, seriously."
"No?" Frank asks, because he was sure, he was so sure.
"No, not no, just--"
Gee's eyes are so twinkly, Frank thinks.
"Here, let's go outside for a smoke," Gee says.
Mikey only reluctantly gets up to let them through.
It's colder outside than Frank had thought it would be, but at the same time he's still feeling flushed and buzzed and--intrigued. Turned on. Gee says something about, I'm not totally a lady, but I'm not exactly all man, and, gender's really just a social construct, you know, there's a lot of middle ground, and probably lots of other smart things in that rambling, circular way that he seems to have, but Frank is happy to admit that he's mostly just watching the way Gee's mouth shapes the words around his cigarette when he talks, and how his hands move in precise gestures.
"So what you're saying," Frank says when Gee pauses, "is that I'm right."
Gee's still fucking beaming at him, oh man. "Yeah, okay, you're right. It was totally me."
Frank can feel himself smirking. He crowds into Gee's space and says, "I don't want you to think this is, uh, some kind of hetero-something of me, because it's not, I totally would think you were hot even if I hadn't seen you in a dress," and leans up on his toes and kisses Gee, only half-hitting Gee's lips. (He really is lucky, though, because Gee had taken his cigarette out of his mouth to illustrate a point. It's always a good day when you don't burn your mouth on your partner's cancer-stick, Frank thinks.)
Gee puts a hand on Frank's shoulder, loose, not pushing, just sort of balancing, and kisses back, really soft and gentle but also correcting for Frank's dubious aim. When Gee opens his mouth, Frank knows he's getting sloppy, but oh man, oh man, Gee.
They should stop, though, because Frank's maybe getting a little dizzy. "I, uh," Frank says, wobbling a little as he gets back onto his heels, glad for Gee's hand steadying him, "I'm maybe more drunk than I thought I was."
Gee's still smiling. Gee's probably also pretty drunk, Frank thinks. "It's cool," Gee says.
Frank leans heavily on him. "Oh man, I am so taking you on a date when we're a little more sober."
"I'm gonna hold you to that," Gee says, dropping his cigarette butt to the ground and walking Frank back into the bar.
Ray and Matt and Mikey are still talking about video games, like nothing happened at all, but Frank's totally going to get Gee's number out of Ray tomorrow, when he's actually going to be coordinated enough to type the numbers into his phone. It's going to be awesome. Maybe Gee'll even wear a dress, if they go someplace nice. (Maybe, Frank thinks, maybe I'll wear the fucking dress, oh man.)
When Frank first meets Gee, officially, it's because Ray saw Frank from across the room and put him into a headlock to get him over to his booth. "You know Mikey, of course," Ray says, ignoring Frank's flailing in his arms, because that fucker Toro's been holding Frank still for years and he knows all the tricks, "and this is Matt, and tonight, Frankie, you should know that you're lucky, because Gee's--stop squirming, seriously--here." Ray lets go of Frank, cheerful, maybe even gleeful in his own somewhat dorky and contained fashion, and Frank takes a moment to straighten his T-shirt.
"Hi," Frank says, and giggles because Ray Toro, ladies and gentlemen. "I'm always lucky," he says, and pushes himself into the already-packed booth next to Mikey.
Mikey seems as glad as he ever is to see Frank, which Frank takes as a compliment because he's seen Mikey when he isn't glad to see someone, and it's basically the most pathetic thing--anyway. Frank nods at Matt, and leans over Mikey to say hello more properly to Gee, grinning, "Hey," and he doesn't mean to spend more than a second like that, pushing Mikey back into the slick cushions with his shoulder, half his weight held up on Mikey's thigh, but he's kind of blown away by Gee. "Hey," Frank says again, with intent this time, pushing back automatically against Mikey when he tries to force Frank out of his lap, "don't I know you?"
Gee's eyebrows go up and up as if under their own power, eye's comically wide--or just getting wider, they're already pretty big, Frank thinks, in a good way, a totally good way. "I think I'd remember you?" Gee has a pale face, and short, dark hair, and a sweater like the kind your grandma gives you that's really too ridiculous for anyone under forty to even attempt, black cut through with slim stripes of red and bright blue, and the whole thing covered in a regular pattern of white dots. "I'm not really around here often," Gee says. "I live in New York."
Mikey elbows Frank in the soft part of his belly between his ribs and his hips. Frank falls under the table and hits his head on central table leg. "Fuck, ow, ow, ow," Frank says, but gets his revenge by slithering back up in between Mikey and Gee.
Gee blinks at him, with those big eyes crinkling up in the corners.
"It's okay, you can totally laugh," Frank says.
God, Gee is just--wow.
Several beers later (Frank hasn't really been paying attention to how many), Frank leans in closer to Gee, squinting. "No, really, I totally know you from somewhere," Frank says. It's pretty loud in the bar but this whole time they've been focused on just each other; he doesn't need to get so close to be heard, so it's really just to get a better look.
Gee smiles really wide, but also sort of like, sorry dude, I can't help you out with your delusions. "Maybe I just, yanno, look familiar because of Mikey," Gee offers, and finishes off another bottle.
Frank looks at Mikey, deep in a conversation with Ray and Matt about something, Frank hasn't been paying attention (it's probably video games), and then back at Gee. "Hunh," he says. He's not sure that's it; he feels like a dog with a bone or something that he's just gotta keep gnawing on for a little while longer and then it'll--turn into gold or something (it wasn't that great of an analogy, maybe). "Why would--"
Gee laughs; Frank's mouth goes dry, just a little bit, so he picks up a bottle from the table and has some more, not really tasting it. "I'm his brother," Gee says.
"Seriously?" That's--okay, that makes some sense, 'cause there's totally some kind of family resemblance, Frank can see it now--in their noses, maybe, or their chins, but.
Gee nods, still smiling.
"Wait, so, lemme get this straight," Frank says, and leans closer, close enough to smell the cigarette smoke in Gee's hair, "you're Mikey's brother? Because," and he stops for a moment, because it's not like he thought Gee wasn't a guy, he just. He thought.
And then he totally remembers where he first saw Gee, like the flip-book in his head suddenly stopping on the right page: Gee in front of him right now, that awful sweater, sweater-weather like spring, that time a few years ago when he went up to New York to bum around Ray's dorm for a bit, Gee.
"What?" Gee says, shifting a little bit, head tilted, pushing imaginary hair behind--his (his? If Gee's Mikey's brother, Frank guesses it's his) ears, like a nervous gesture.
"Dude," Frank says, sure of himself. "I totally saw you walking around campus at SVA a few years ago. You were all dressed up--I remember faces." Frank says, like a television detective in the closing scene, half-accusing but mostly illuminating, "You're totally a lady, aren't you!"
Gee bursts out laughing; Ray and Matt and Mikey look up from their drinks and their in-depth debate over god-knows-what. "Nothing," Gee says, hand over his mouth, giggling still, "nothing, seriously."
"No?" Frank asks, because he was sure, he was so sure.
"No, not no, just--"
Gee's eyes are so twinkly, Frank thinks.
"Here, let's go outside for a smoke," Gee says.
Mikey only reluctantly gets up to let them through.
It's colder outside than Frank had thought it would be, but at the same time he's still feeling flushed and buzzed and--intrigued. Turned on. Gee says something about, I'm not totally a lady, but I'm not exactly all man, and, gender's really just a social construct, you know, there's a lot of middle ground, and probably lots of other smart things in that rambling, circular way that he seems to have, but Frank is happy to admit that he's mostly just watching the way Gee's mouth shapes the words around his cigarette when he talks, and how his hands move in precise gestures.
"So what you're saying," Frank says when Gee pauses, "is that I'm right."
Gee's still fucking beaming at him, oh man. "Yeah, okay, you're right. It was totally me."
Frank can feel himself smirking. He crowds into Gee's space and says, "I don't want you to think this is, uh, some kind of hetero-something of me, because it's not, I totally would think you were hot even if I hadn't seen you in a dress," and leans up on his toes and kisses Gee, only half-hitting Gee's lips. (He really is lucky, though, because Gee had taken his cigarette out of his mouth to illustrate a point. It's always a good day when you don't burn your mouth on your partner's cancer-stick, Frank thinks.)
Gee puts a hand on Frank's shoulder, loose, not pushing, just sort of balancing, and kisses back, really soft and gentle but also correcting for Frank's dubious aim. When Gee opens his mouth, Frank knows he's getting sloppy, but oh man, oh man, Gee.
They should stop, though, because Frank's maybe getting a little dizzy. "I, uh," Frank says, wobbling a little as he gets back onto his heels, glad for Gee's hand steadying him, "I'm maybe more drunk than I thought I was."
Gee's still smiling. Gee's probably also pretty drunk, Frank thinks. "It's cool," Gee says.
Frank leans heavily on him. "Oh man, I am so taking you on a date when we're a little more sober."
"I'm gonna hold you to that," Gee says, dropping his cigarette butt to the ground and walking Frank back into the bar.
Ray and Matt and Mikey are still talking about video games, like nothing happened at all, but Frank's totally going to get Gee's number out of Ray tomorrow, when he's actually going to be coordinated enough to type the numbers into his phone. It's going to be awesome. Maybe Gee'll even wear a dress, if they go someplace nice. (Maybe, Frank thinks, maybe I'll wear the fucking dress, oh man.)